I have refrained from talking about the transphobic law passed in North
Carolina, which is less than an hour's drive south from where I live. I
would have continued to refrain for some time I'm sure, had I not
stumbled over several subtly transphobic posts from people that I grew
up with. People who knew me as a child, and know that my name and sex
have been legally changed on a federal level. People who maybe should
think twice about posting that someone with the misfortune of being
transgendered is somehow a sexual deviant.
Let me set the record
straight. I am incredibly thankful for my friends, and my family who
love me, and support me as a person. I am not
out to hate on anyone or pick on anyone. I just want to live my life
quietly doing the things that I am passionate about, without fear of
legal problems should I need to use a public restroom.
As long
as time has passed and humanity has been able to track it, there have
been those that would abuse the system, that would sneak into the
opposite gender baths, private places, and places where people are
separated by sex. There should of course be laws and regulations in
place to help prevent peeping and other issues of that sort.
THAT SAID.
If I or someone who happens to be trans is in a public restroom we have
exactly one thing on our mind, it it is using the facilities. FULL STOP.
We are human and we need to pee as much as anyone else. Sometimes more
frequently because hormones change how those things work. If you are
vain or ignorant enough to think my potty break is a chance for me to
chat you up, you are loonytoons.
So, now that we have covered
THAT. Stop being ignorant as a whole. If you are concerned, ask
questions. If you want to be safe, please keep in mind that the people
in most danger of being hurt in a public restroom are not children, or
average adults, but those of us who just need to pee, but can't pass as
male or female. Men in the ladies room! Women in the mens room! Neither
of these is accurate and both of these are (understandably) met with
outrage. We just need to pee. It's not about you.
I am fortunate enough that I do pass as male, which IS my
legal sex at this point, and I no longer have to deal with this as
much, but you better believe that it is still a terrifying experience to
develop a fear of public toilets that has nothing to do with germs. I
am still anxious every time I have to use a public restroom, and that is
something that was never an issue until I was in my mid to late
twenties.
Okay I really am done ranting now. I'm angry, and I'm
scared, and I want to say, that I know that many of you are not this
ignorant. If you are among those who are reading this thinking "Well of
course" then this isn't directed at you, but thank you for reading.
Thank you for knowing, for listening, for supporting.
Thank you
to every single one of my friends who knows me for me, and loves me for
me. I appreciate you, and you make life worth living.
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