Sunday, July 31, 2011

Dream girl, you're a fantasy?

My dreams do weird things to me. When I'm just beginning to wake up, I take the dreams very seriously if it was a particularly intense dream.

I had two such dreams last night. The first of which involved confusion and drama between my very best friend, and her husband. In said dream, he abandoned her after a meal at Golden Corral, even noticing that she was having a severe medical emergency. I can't recall if it was a seizure condition or a heart condition in my dream, but BF has neither condition in real life, that I am aware of. Just dreamland making me process confusing thoughts and fears.

Then at the end of that dream, I woke up, and was scrambling to write down all the meaningful nuances and such. I'm not sure if that part really happened or if it was a segway to the next dream. It could have happened but I ended up giving up and rolling over to go back to sleep since it was only 4:50am.

I became aware that I was dreaming at the very beginning of the next dream, but that knowledge was only partially there the entire time. I was in my "home", an apartment I've never seen before that seemed to have two non-functional garages, visible from the outside. I couldn't even find the way to the one below the first floor, and I went upstairs rather than checking out the one on groundlevel. The wall against the staircase was seethrough, and sound seemed to go through as well, because my "neighbor" called out to me that he was sick of seeing my stupid cat.

I recall seeing a small black cat that could have been Decke, and then my memory is a bit fuzzy. I found myself wandering a small mountain town, via a car? I was with someone but I don't remember them. I startled when I saw two of the women who were at the Golden Corral in the other dream. They called out to me, asking if my friend is okay, which is when I remembered/realized I was in dreamland. They called out from their car, as they were passing the other way at a stoplight.

From there I recall little until I was wandering through a highschool with two women/girls. I'm unsure of their age, but they told me they were enrolling at this school. I remember musing to myself (whether outloud to them I don't know) that this school was in dreamland, and I wasn't sure exactly what the enrolling process would be, or how they could prove identity with documents and all that. My logic being, I assume, that because it was dreamland (but I did not have direct control of the dream, just awareness that it was one) they would not have access to the documents they needed since those are somewhere in their real lives.

It didn't occur to me, as it does now, that they may have had such documents available to them in dreamland, if they weren't aware that it was a dream. One of the women/girls (age is hard to determine in dreams) also seemed to be aware that she was dreaming. I think at that point we travelled together a bit, but there were some people who knew that we knew where we were (dreaming) and were trying to force us to wake up rather than interact with each other.

Seconds before my alarm awoke me, we exchanged names in desperation. My googlefu reveals nothing, but the name in question, was Jeanette Graham Bennett Hutton. I got the impression the last two names might have been hyphenated but she didn't say as much. The intensity of being chased and feeling like it was us against the entire sleeping world, made me want to seek her out, if she was indeed a real person.

It seems a little silly upon waking, but dreams have always been very powerful for me.

Friday, July 22, 2011

So I'm 28 now.

I never posted about my birthday. I meant to, but it just didn't happen. I was on Vacation in East Tennessee when I should have put in to have my birthday off, so I was scheduled to work on it. In the week prior, one of our head cashiers quit under stressful circumstances, and our Front End Supervisor left for vacation the next day. I, and the remaining two Head Cashiers were spread thin, and got by on the skin of our teeth, and the help of someone else in the store stepping in for shifts throughout that week.

On my actual birthday, as I said, I was working, so I didn't do much of anything. I came home, and received hugs and gifts from Osaka and Ringo, both of whom spent great care selecting things I'd love and use. :) Osaka got me the deluxe edition of Dragon Age, which includes Origins, Awakening, and the downloadable content. Ringo got me an assortment of things, one of which was my second transformer figurine, a Megatron to go with the Optimus Prime I received for Christmas. He's the original, gun form. I'll take photos tomorrow I hope, with one or more of my yo-sized boys.

We treated Friday the 15th as my birthday instead, and I had a great celebratory dinner with several good friends, and co-workers that I am fond of. It went well, I think, aside from a migraine that set in about midday, but I slept that off, and felt much better for it by 5pm, when one of my intended guests for the dinner called me to verify plans.

I also ended up going out with Sam Sunday night, and had fun with her and some mutual friends, and then got together with some more friends Tuesday before I had to go to work. This is the longest I've extended birthday celebrations, that I can recall, it was pretty cool.

That said, I've been a bit stressed over work. I've been trying to get a different position at my place of employment for several months, because the expections placed on me, change at too rapid a pace for me to keep up with, and retain my sanity. I was informed just recently, that it's not likely that they will let me off the front end, so I am beginning to look for other work. I'm not happy about this, because I like working where I do, but instead of looking forward to each shift, and my interactions with my co-workers, I am filled with apprehension each day I am scheduled to work.

That, combined with the closing of the specialized clinic I was using, has me fretful. I've been given information on another clinic with the same specialization but I have not gotten in touch with them yet. I plan to give them a call tomorrow, and failing that, Monday, to try and get my medical affairs back in order. There aren't alot of specialists in my area, and most of the searches I've done, recommend the clinic I was using, that has closed. The new clinic, (which I know little about yet) is a further drive, and will be harder to get to, as I can't take the bus there if necessary.

Stressing about that, and work, has made me all but mute. I don't want to stress my friends, and I've lost the ability (in my opinion) to communicate effectively.

About Me

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I'm Rory or Rorek in most places. I design, sew, and craft, primarily for my Asian Ball-Jointed Dolls. I also dabble in interior design, but I'm a little out of practice.

I post about the things I enjoy, which are sewing, photographing my dolls, designing new outfits, knitting, which I started in September of 2008, thanks to my Mom, and occasionally drawing, or painting.

I also post about Life Events and how they affect me and those that I love.

Currently I am living in DFW, Texas in the USA and working towards a degree in Theology.