Friday, December 19, 2014

Health Issues

Last night I was comparing notes with some of my friends on health things I had an uncomfortable realization.

All those people who told me to stop cracking my knuckles as a kid, to stop showing off my double-joints, to be careful with my ankles etc, weren't just trying to ruin my fun. I was slowly, carefully, and willfully destroying my joints. That's awkward.

I am double-jointed, which is known in the medical world as hyper-mobility. I also have a plethora of other medical issues that have slowly become more intense over time, and the culmination of all of them points to a debilitating condition that could have me seriously immobile by the time I'm in my forties.

I have asthma, hypothyroidism, hyper-mobility (my ankles, knees, back, and hands/wrist especially are wrecked), and bi-polar on top of that. In addition, my hormone therapy while soothing some of these conditions, puts more stress on my kidneys and liver, as well as increasing my risk of some cancers. I knew this when I chose to pursue it as a treatment option. I didn't quite realize how many other health issues I was sitting on at the time.

I'm also pretty certain that I have sleep apnea, and need to get medicare/medicaid/whatever Virginia offers sorted so that I can get into a sleep clinic and determine just how severe it is.

Last night I was going over a list of various conditions sometimes found in conjunction with hyper-mobility, and was alarmed to find that hypothyroidism, asthma (misdiagnosis), chronic pain such as migraines and persistent joint pain, frequent blackouts (especially as a child, of which I had in plenty and is commonly diagnosed as early signs of epilepsy) and sleep disturbances are all signs of an often misdiagnosed condition that tends to get missed, because the odds of any one person having ALL of these things going aren't really that good.

Basically I need to be tested to (hopefully) rule out EDS (also younger siblings should probably be tested). Yay. I may also find myself completely physically broken before I'm 40. Fantastic.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Theater Stuff and Doll Stuff

Well I was discussing language and theater and Osaka mentioned something called Takarazuka, and it blew my mind. WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW ABOUT THIS?! I NEED THIS!

Seriously though I am a HUGE fan of live theater and have not seen nearly enough of it in my short life, and if I were the sort to have a bucket list, seeing a Takarazuka show would be on it, preferably actually in Japan and then going to the Volks Sato store and getting a Takarazuka girl. Probably a Kun.

Also speaking of Kun, I have decided when I am not so miserably poor, I need a Yo-SD Kun and a Yo-SD Syo/Show and swap their heads. Syo makes such a pretty little girl, and Kun makes such a feisty looking little boy. I need that in my life too.

Also I accidentally figured out who my Unicorn Shale head is going to be. I need to figure out a name but it's totally the Brony I posted earlier this evening. This is what the Unicorn Shale head looked like default. Apollo is the Human Shale head, and kept the body.

Mine has never had a faceup, but has waited mellowing in my resin bits box until I figured out what to do with him. Apparently this is the week (or month) for figuring heads out between him, Crunchy (Kid Delf Summer Event Head 2014), and Kakashi (Souldoll Asiter head).

I want either this wig, or this one for him, so I will probably order both. Also these eyes.

I just need to track down a white Soom boy body for him, and those come up with some regularity on the DOA marketplace for reasonable prices.

So doll plans for the next couple of years are, body for Ro, Crobidoll Tori to be Owen Sebastian (Simon Oliver's brother), body for Crunchy, body for Kakashi, body for Shale Unicorn head, and if I can manage it a Kun girl that has been sitting on the DOA marketplace for a bit. Before all of that though, I need to pay the remainder on Ed, who is almost half paid for now.

As a reminder I DO still have up for sale a Littlefee Rachel faceplate with faceup by Fairyland (boy-style), Iplehouse Elemential Guardian Efreet with papers and box, Dollmore boy body (circa 2007), and an evenly yellowed B&G Sky, as well as some rare SD outfits, and some mini clothes. If anyone bought even just the Efreet as I have him priced, and the damned Dollmore body, I could finish paying off Ed.

So.. if you missed my Sales threads and/or if you need some wiggle room please just let me know. I AM open to reasonable offers, and I'm willing to do layaway or partial trades for anything I am actively looking for.

Pony Stuff!

Today we did some Shrinkydinks for Ornaments for the Christmas trees. I did a Rory Brony on the Create a Pony site, and then drew him up like so:

Then Osaka shrunk it up for me with her heat gun, and I put a little hook in him and put him on the big tree:

And just for giggles, here is an Animated image of Rory Brony folding and unfolding his wings. BECAUSE OF COURSE I AM AN ALICORN!

Friday, December 12, 2014

Shiny Things and Fluffy Sheets

I did a little bit of retail therapy this morning after a trip to the DMV. I needed to pick up a prescription at work, and I did what I always do and looked around the toy section and saw THIS GUY (Neighthan Rot):

I mostly collect the Monster High BOYS so I was pretty thrilled, and he was like half-price, because the box was a little dinged up and he was already on sale.

No pics of him deboxed because I don't have room to display my Monster High dolls at the moment but I carefully deboxed him and put him with my other Mansters.

I also texted Faythe and sorted some details for a trade, and I will have two new Monster High dolls under the tree for Christmas. I'm not sure which tree:

Osaka put them up last night? Maybe the night before? I think it was Wednesday evening. They look good. She has been making My Little Pony ShrinkyDink ornaments most of the day for them, and they've turned out fantastically.

I also picked up my very first set of flannel sheets. They have little Yeti/Abominable Snowmen on them. I totally got them from the kids section, because why wouldn't I? They're super cute and incredibly soft.

I have stripped off most of my blankets because.. flannel sheets. I don't want to roast. I now have a few different sets of sheets which makes me happy. I like having options. When I got my bed, I bought two sets of sheets: brown, and ivory/cream. I also got pillowcases and blankets that would coordinate with them. Then shortly before I got laid off I purchased some grey sheets with the last of a gift card I'd gotten, and a matching case for my body pillow. I'd still like a few more options (LIKE LEGO SHEETS AND BLANKETS) but I'm pretty happy with my current options now.

I'm still a bit stressed because the DMV that I faxed some forms to back in October lost them, but I was able to get my Virginia ID today, and mail off the form for the correction when I got home, so as soon as I receive the letter that they have received and reviewed that, I can go back and be done with it. My progress is slow but steady.

I'm wondering why exactly I had the two panic attacks, and especially so close together but I am calmed down for now, and I didn't spend a ridiculous amount in retail therapy. I got things I'd been looking hard at and thought over, instead of just something shiny. I am pleased with myself for that.

Not doing particularly well.

I have had 2 panic attacks in the span of 13 hours. I'm beginning to be calm, after talking to Faythe for about an hour, and taking time to shave my neck, and wash my face, etc.

I ended up getting sick at work as a result and had to leave 2 hours into my shift, which did not help my anxiety. I was continuing to freak out after I clocked out, as I walked to TCC (Tidewater Community College, not Tarrant County College) which is the bus stop hub, and it just got more intense as I waited for the bus and then walked home from the bus stop.

By the time I got through the door I was completely non-verbal, and I spent a few moments trying to take calming breaths as I changed out of my work clothes into more casual attire, but I was still pretty wound up and anxious for the rest of the time I was awake.

I restored (or attempted to) Ringo's xbox profile which he'd had taken away as punishment a while ago, for a series of SERIOUS infractions. I wanted to have it re-instated awhile ago, and definitely by Christmas so that he would have a chance to play stuff with his Uncle who is coming out for a visit. I can't seem to link his saved files and achievements with his profile though because he is too young for an xbox live account so we never had him with one. I think that he may have to start over, sadly, but I tried to be nice about it and keep that data in the event it could be restored. I feel badly about it, but I will keep looking for options.

I never actually got to a calm place before I slept. I ended up going to bed at I think about 8, maybe 9pm, and woke up half past 1 in full panic. I think I initially woke up because I was cold. I had managed to push my covers up off my legs, and so when I woke I fixed my blankets, but then I was AWAKE and in the full swing of a panic attack again roughly  13 hours after the onset of the first.

I'm not sure exactly what triggered it. It could be any number of things, given the season. I don't do well this time of year. I miss my family, I miss my fiance, and I just feel Guilt all the time. Guilty that I can't afford to send out cards, let alone buy gifts. I will be sewing for Wotan, Ringo's Uncle, and for Ringo himself, and I know what I would like to get for Osaka/Allister, but I haven't seen it at work, so I will have to check some other stores for it.

I am so completely worn. I am thankful that when I wake up in a panic my sister is able and WILLING to be there and listen and try to help me get calm, but I feel like an ass for needing it, like I have some kind of choice in the matter.

I feel so hopeless, helpless, useless. I can feel that Holiday depression crushing down telling me that life isn't worth living, while the rest of my brain is singing with joy for all that I have to live for, and it hurts to have such distinctly different intense experiences sharing head space.

I wish so hard that I could be normal. I wish I knew what normal is supposed to be.

Monday, December 8, 2014

WALL O' TEXT (Doll Backstories)

I do quite a bit of back and forth discussing characters and such but I NEVER WRITE ANYTHING DOWN and I forget all the details so this is me archiving stuff I have discovered/written about doll-canon for some of my characters. There will be more entries like this in the future.

Some of this (the September stuff) have posted previously to Ravelry. The new stuff is regarding my 2014 summer event Kid Delf head who I took some photos of for a photo request on Den of Angels and all of a sudden BACK-STORY!!

(December 8, 2014)

"Crunchy" is a half-Fae boy, who follows Christian through one of the Doors of The Forest, and ends up trapped on Earth for about 6 months, from mid-Summer, to Winter.

His magical abilities include talking to the trees (they don't talk like the ones from his home) and taking the forms of animals as well as an assortment of basic runes. He accidentally ran away from home basically, during his schooling years, so his magical training is not complete.

Crunchy is a poor approximation of his name (which is Wood Elf) which translates to something like the wind through the trees, leaves falling, and the footfalls of animals on the forest floor. Somehow that gets lost in translation as "Crunchy".

He comes from a large family of Wood Elves, with a Human father. His father has hazel eyes and sandy brown hair. His mother has light green shimmering skin, white hair, and amber eyes. She is not fully Wood Elf, and has other Fae in her family tree. Most of Crunchy's siblings are older, green-skinned, and elf earred. Some of them have Human colored skin but still have elf ears, and some have Human ears and Elf skin. Most of them have golden eyes. Crunchy is the only one with Human skin and ears and Purple eyes, which are a genetic throwback to his Great-Grandfather on the Elf side, who was some different sort of Fae. Crunchy does have his mother's white hair.

Crunchy's magic seems to be of the Elven sort, rather than the kind his father has. Humans can make a contract with the King of the Forest to stay forever in the Forest in exchange for some magical ability. If they succeed in the process (which can be incredibly intense) they end up being magically tattooed usually from the neck down with vines branching down and intertwining to represent the magic of the Forest. Usually these go all over the body and branch down all the way to the toes, starting up at the neck, or over the heart and branching both up and down. The intensity of tattooing is physical representation of the power you receive, and many can't stomach the process so end up aborting it. Unfortunately they have entered the contract so they aren't able to leave the Forest, and they are stuck with whatever markings they got through, but they will have limited, if ANY power because the process isn't complete. This is not something that can be attempted more than once.

Crunchy's father's vines start at his neck just under the ears and twist and branch off swirling and intertwining down his torso, arms, legs and ending in little roots across his toes. He has a respectable amount of natural power to tap into because he was able to withstand the process the whole way. His vines are green and gold and shimmer with magical essence. They compliment his eyes and hair, and match the skin of his chosen wife.

Many Children of the Forest don't wear clothing as the temperature tends towards mild for most of the long Autumn, but those who do "fleece up" in Fleece freely given from the Native Forest people of the North who shed the fleece in the warm times and send it to the Castle to be distributed as it's needed for bedding or to be made into clothing for the various people who are more temperature sensitive or come from cultures where clothing is more expected.

Crunchy doesn't wear much. He has a woven loincloth with embroidered vines at the edges, and finds that more than sufficient for most of the year. When it gets very briefly cold he tends to nest in his fleecy bed until the brief summer hits before the long Autumn begins again.

In the time that he was trapped on Earth until he convinced Zephi to open the Door when the snow was heavy, he was given a scarf intended for Zephi, and some hand-warmers and a hat from Christian. Zephi also gave him some fleecy pajamas since Forest people don't wear skins or leathers, and denim is completely unnatural and made Crunchy nervous.

Crunchy didn't run away on purpose. He saw Christian open the Door to go home, and being a curious 11-year-old (or so) followed him, slipping through the door after him. Crunchy can't OPEN the door on his own, so he was stuck until he was finally able to convice Zephi to open the door. He would have asked Christian to open it for him but he's a bit scared of Christian because he can see his magical aura and the power and intensity makes him nervous. He was surrounded by magic in the Forest so it didn't seem as intense blurred with all the magical feedback on the other side of the door, but shortly after he passed through and saw the complete LACK of magic aside from Christian's intense aura he freaked out.

He did try to approach Christian ONCE after talking with Zephi, in the form of an Animal, but he got it wrong. Zephi pointed to a fox and asked him to take that shape to approach Christian since Crunchy messed up his ward of discretion and his attempt at a Glamor and is just invisible to most people, Zephi can see him, Christian and Lorelei, and Oliver and Severus can see him too, but he doesn't think they can, since Zephi's parents can't and he's too nervous to go onto Christian's property. Crunchy was concentrating so hard on getting the shape right he didn't think about the color and approached Christian as a BRIGHT PURPLE fox (his eye color), and before he could speak Christian told him "Um you're the wrong color." and Crunchy freaked out and ran off.

Zephi had been avoiding the door, because he got chewed out for wandering through the forest up the Christian's house and making himself at home (to be friends!). He was strongly discouraged from wandering onto peoples' property, and he didn't initially recognize that the Door is magical. He assumed it was a private gate to someone's estate.

Zephi doesn't really have any awareness that he is "weird" in talking to animals and being able to see and open the door. He has a knack for languages and is VERY friendly so he is friends with most of the wildlife in the forest that his backed against his 1 acre back yard. He and Christian are probably the only people on Earth who can actually communicate with Crunchy since Crunchy doesn't speak English.

When Crunchy gets back to the Forest he finds that three years have passed in the six months he spent on Earth and his family have assumed that he wandered off and got drowned by a mermaid or something since he was at that age of doing stupid curious things and he was just GONE for three years. So in the span of him being gone they moved to a different village, had two more children and continued with their lives. Crunchy always stood out amongst his siblings as appearing "too human" so when he found that his family hadn't particularly missed him, he left and decided to live on his own.

This is not particularly uncommon among the Fae of the Forest. Many children leave their nests and take on their own lives pretty young, and especially if one of their parents is Non-Fae, since they tend to BREED (Humans especially) and it makes for cramped, loud, living.

Apollo sets up house in the Forest when he's in his teens as a base to store clothes and things and a place to get his bearings when he falls through time and space. Frequently he will find a Door and find his way to his home, made of old stone instead of the living trees.

Amelia also sets up a home of her own while she is fairly young, in her village. Children are encouraged to practice their magic, and seek out tutors or apprenticeships, and Amelia ends up settling down on the fringes of the village happy in a peaceful life.

Crunchy is less happy and feels a bit abandoned by his family as Wood Elves tend to stay TOGETHER in bands and tribes, but since his mother partnered with a Human she has already kind of strayed from tradition, and has made her own tribe by just continuing to have lots of children. Most Fae are content to have just one child, maybe two, but usually decades apart, tending to raise them one at a time. Crunchy is about 12 months (average fae gestation) older and younger than his closest siblings. He has about a dozen siblings and there is a slight gap between his youngest few siblings and the two just under him. This gap was the healing period when his father was recovering from the physical toll of the magical contract with the Forest.

Crunchy ends up working on his magic for about a forest year before he follows Christian through the door again and when he comes through again not much time has passed in Zephi's world. Winter is over, but it's chilly spring. He has studied Humans and regions and decides on a Glamor of blond hair and blue eyes since he sees Sebastian during his first stay (Christian's partner) and decides that Sebastian looks like a friendly person so he wants to emulate that. He practices his animal shapes (AND COLORS) and also studies translation spells, hoping to be able to communicate with more than just Zephi when he comes through again. The winter frightens him but he thinks that he wants to try living on Earth and being friends with Zephi, since Zephi kept him fed and safe and warm while he was trapped on earth.

Zephi's parents thought he was an Imaginary friend, since he was invisible to them, and Crunchy spent much of the colder part of his stay living in Zephi's tree house, with a pile of blankets and whatever food Zephi can sneak to him. Most Forest folk are vegetarian but this isn't really an issue since Zephi is a vegetarian, and brings fresh fruits, veggies, nuts, berries, and breads and cookies that his parents, and Christian baked.


(September 6, 2014)

Christian and some friends went down to Florida for spring break Freshman year of college, and their friend Rei ended up in jail for probably public nudity or intoxication or both. So Christian and the rest of the group did what poor college students can, and went to a sperm bank to get bail money for Rei. Christian wasn’t particularly comfortable with this but went with it because they couldn’t very well leave Rei in jail in Florida. This is canon in Allister’s doll world.

Some years later my Soony (who I do not yet have in doll form, and therefore hasn’t settled on a name proper, and will be referred to as Soony, has black or dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, she’s meant to be Asian) came out as a lesbian to her Mother, who was surprisingly supportive except that she wanted grandbabies. So, when Soony insisted that she was not at all interested in men, but was open to being a mother, her Mom told her that she would pay for invitro fertilization so that she could have her grandbaby. She also offered to raise the child if Soony wasn’t up for it.

Soony said that she would need to discuss with her long time girlfriend (now wife, also not yet in resin form) Lishe (who is a Ginger, BRIGHT red hair, grey-hazel eyes), and Asian Mom agreed, after they discussed, to pay for invitro for them both, as a wedding gift. Lishe’s family were thrilled because they also wanted grandbabies, and while they were incredibly supportive of their girl (who has three brothers, maybe never in resin form), they were hoping she would eventually settle down and have a family.

Lishe, Soony, and Asian Mom all went through a bunch of different profiles from the local (Florida) sperm bank, and settled on Christian’s because they liked the college he was attending, the described physical attributes, and interests, and his general answers to the questions given on the form. Asian Mom actually bought up the entire sample and has it stored, but the invitro took the first time, and Lishe and Soony were lucky (and drove each other a bit nuts) being pregnant for roughly the exact same time.

Simon Oliver (Soony’s boy) was born first, April 17th, and Owen Sebastian (Lishe’s boy) was born May 7th.

Christian has his own complicated backstory, and they (Soony and Lishe) end up connecting through a gay parents group, where he also meets Robbie, Christopher Owen’s dad.

After comparing photos of Lorelei, Christian’s daughter, and Simon Oliver and Owen, and realizing that he was an Alumni of the school of their donor and went on spring break to their part of Florida a bit before they chose their sample, they had a blood test done, and were all a bit stunned and delighted (and probably a bit horrified on Christian’s part) that Christian was actually the biological father of their two sons.

As a particular bit of kismet, Lishe’s family is actually from the area where Christian ends up settling down, so when she goes for her frequent visits home with the boys, Christian gets to see his sons, and Lorelei gets some interaction with her half brothers.

After a little time, it becomes obvious that Owen is on the Autism spectrum, and Christian explains that it comes from his genetics, as his brother is on the spectrum as well. All of this information is based on my own life experience with people and children on the spectrum, no assumptions, and not generally vocalized. It manifests as Owen being mostly non-verbal and standoffish to most people. He climbs all over Christian’s brother Ollie, and Lishe, who is his bio-Mom, and sometimes Asian Grandma, but pretty much doesn’t tolerate interaction with anyone else. His Moms compared his progress and development to his brother’s and since they were born so close together the difference was pretty obvious and they were able to catch it very early.

The best part of this complicated story, is that even after I eventually live elsewhere(like in England with my fiance), it will not destroy the intricately woven web, because the boys don’t LIVE with or near Christian, they just visit, and ultimately he has his own complicated family.

Pictured, Robbie with Christopher Owen, and Christian with Simon Oliver.


(September 12, 2014)

Today I was discussing some of October’s backstory with Osaka and it gelled a bit more. Some of it is a mystery, but it’s beginning to slowly unfold. I already knew that October was “The Pumpkin Prince” but I had no frame of reference. He’s obviously a baby, and there is definitely something magical about him, but I didn’t really have any details because.. he’s a baby.

I’ve determined that his father is something like a demi-god, who we’ll call “The King of the Forest” and created a world, an eternal forest of Autumn. The leaves of the trees are always red and gold, except for about a two week period where the trees go bare, and then green again, and there is just a burst of growth in all the plant-life. Then time resumes it’s ebb and flow, stuck perpetually in a state of Autumn, with the days alternating between a little brisk, and warm enough that you don’t need a jacket or long sleeves, but not warm enough to comfortably swim.

The world is roughly the size of the North American Continent with some colder sections and warmer sections, North and South respectively. That’s not the shape, but the size. It’s significantly larger than the pocket dimension (in comparison) where the magic beings such as Starshine, Doran, Moonbeam, and Innis come from, which is basically a small magical version of the UK, but slightly more sprawling, and not necessarily a group of islands.

In the waters of this world, it’s not safe to swim, regardless of temperature as there are the traditional drag you to your death type of mermaids. There are some small streams and such where you can safely get drinking water, but bodies of water such as lakes or oceans are too dangerous to approach at night or even in day, depending on how deep they are.

The King of the Forest created the world and wove it into space and time, connecting it to many different worlds via enormous oak doorways with arched double-doors that lead to each world. The doors only open one day a year, in each of these worlds, and on Earth (or at least doll-reality Earth) that is All Hallows Eve.

The Kind is a benevolent creature, with the appearance of a man, but great stag-like horns, which might be a fancy headdress, but might actually be attached, it’s hard to tell, and he rarely leaves the confines of his castle except to check the various doors and make sure that they are functioning correctly.

Some people are able to enter the doors by pushing them open from their own world, if they have a particular gift for magic, or are otherwise gifted, and all are welcome as guests in this, the land of the lost. Many slip through the doors, drawn in like moths to a flame when the doors come open on Halloween, from all times and dimensions, but if they don’t leave before night’s end they are stuck until the door opens again.

Time doesn’t flow naturally in this plane of existence, and some doors open every two weeks or so, while some open every few years in the time of the Forest. You can never tell how much time has passed since you passed through, or even if you will end up in the same world you came from. Each door has a fixed position and a fixed time for opening, but at any one time, there is at least one door open, and sometimes people terrified upon finding themselves “trapped” in an alternate dimension will travel until they find another open door and run through it, which can have them falling through time and space to an entirely different world, or another time and space on their own world. If you wait, and go back through the door you came through, you will always come out where you came in, but unless you have come through before, you have no idea how much time will have passed in your world, just that you will come out exactly where you were. For some, it’s hours, some years, and others CENTURIES have passed even if they go through the same door they entered. The only time that time is synced up, is if you have the talent to OPEN the door, or if you come through when it is open, and for the duration of that door being open. Once it closes time resumes it’s pace and the worlds are no longer synced until the door opens again.

At each door is a village. Most of these have sprung up well after the King made the world, as a result of the natural Fae (for lack of better descriptor) and visitors forming villages and interbreeding. These villages host feasts and serve the guests that come through the doors until they leave, so you have a font of eternal hospitality if you lose catch of time and find yourself still in the world after the doors close. The only people who may find themselves unwelcome are those that attack the native peoples, and they are seized by the King’s guards (stationed at EVERY door) who will send them to the nearest open door and throw them through it, regardless of where and when that will send them. The King will come by before they are ejected from his universe and place a mark on them, that disallows use of any of the magic doors ever again. It’s not visible except to magic users, and once they are through the door, the magic of the world that acts as an auto-translation device is over.

People who may have lived for years happily in the forest as guests but decide to leave together, may find when they leave that they can no longer understand each other, even though it hasn’t been a problem up until they left the Forest. Many of them return as soon as the door opens again (unless they are found before then by the people of the world they end up in) and will stay forever, setting up home in one of the many villages, breeding, and adding to the eternal hospitality of the realm, until they eventually die of old age. People will age at the normal rate of the world they came from, but since time is in fluctuation in different parts of the realm, some may die (aged 100 or so) much sooner than someone else who appears to be the same age, depending on region. The only true immortal seems to be the King of the Forest.

It’s hard to know more about The King, as he appears to be a god, and while he has fathered a child it seems like it was more at the whim of a mortal woman who came through and attempted to manipulate him with seduction. He didn’t mind the companionship, but when she became pregnant he didn’t allow her to leave, as no one of the Forest is allowed to leave, unless they are also a descendant of someone from another world. She tried to leave and take the Princeling with her, and was stopped at the castle gates by the guards who told her that while she was free to leave (as all guests are) by no means could she take a child of the Forest with her, and certainly not the son of their King. She tried to insist, but couldn’t really argue when the whole of the Forest came upon her and plucked the child from her hands.

My impression of her, was that the child was not an intended consequence and she was just trying to leave since the King seemed immune to her manipulation techniques. She tried to take the child because regardless of how it happened, she felt he was hers to take, as she came from modern (slightly in our future) Human time, from a highly pro feminine rights place, and most women are given automatic parental rights in cases of separation of the parents, as they are the ones that actually gave birth.

In the event that she try to come back and steal the child, the King marked her as unwelcome, so even if she were to try, she could never find the door again, even on Halloween.

October has a group of guards, nurses, and young servants who play with him and while he isn’t exactly an infant, he is smaller than the average human toddler. His father seems enchanted by him, but doesn’t interact with him a great deal, as the boy grows in forest time, so he has an incredibly long life ahead of him to grow and develop, both physically, and any magical talents that he might have.

The forest is home to people of all worlds, Giants, Halflings, Humans, Elves, Dwarves, Fae of all kinds, from many different worlds, and all of the Forest’s natural Fae are Animal in nature and appearance, with the intelligence of an average person (of any race of species). There are some that are smarter, some that are dull, and some that are more human in appearance than animal.

The world is peaceful and does not know war, as anything that might harm the guests is handled by the guards immediately by being hurled back through whatever Gate they game through, or if they are a natural Forest occurrence, corralled back to their region, where they will not prey upon or disturb the villages.

October is an intelligent boy, who seems very small, has strange ideas about things, like proclaiming that he sprung fully formed from a Pumpkin. It’s likely that he doesn’t remember his mother, as she tried to make her escape when he was about a month old, when she’d just about have healed from giving birth. If you were to compare his development, cognitively, he’d compare to somewhere between 2-3 years old of the average human child. Limited speech, basic grasp of walking, and balance, but lots of creativity, and happy to socialize.

Other important tidbits of knowledge, are that the trees are sentient (like the Ents of Tolkien’s world) and will scream if you attack them. They can give wood freely, and will, if asked. They will also form themselves into huge natural houses, with branches woven together so tightly for roofs, that not a single drop of rain can penetrate it. They can’t really do doors or hinges, so most doorways have natural hooked notches to hang fabric from for privacy. There IS indoor plumbing by way of magic users and naturally occurring springs and fountains, but no electricity. All the villages are either these living wooden homes, or homes made from stone gathered near the waters edge (which is much more dangerous).

The King’s Castle and walls seem to be natural stone that juts straight out of the ground, covered in moss, ivy, and other natural plants. The gates are made of wood given by the trees and hung with heavy metal hinges. They can be opened with a light push if you have the magical gift of travel, but are heavy as lead or gold and can’t be budged if you don’t. They seem to open on their own when it is time for them to be open, and part of the King’s routine is to check on the magic that makes them work, and make sure that each gate or door is functioning correctly so that they sync up and people can travel safely through them at all times.

As far as I know the only characters I have that are likely to have been in the forest (by way of natural magic) would be Apollo, Moonbeam, Ichigo, and Zephi. Zephi can see the gates year round, as there is one in the woods behind his house but he avoids it, assuming it is an estate gate to a private landowner, and not wanting to get into trouble for sneaking onto someone else’s property.


I do have a doll in mind for The King of the Forest. I've decided I want to do a Full Choice SID Claude in Light Brown skin from Iplehouse and track down the Benmore/Cernunnos horns for him.

That is all for now! Thanks for reading! I apologize for the scattered way that I write. @_@

Friday, December 5, 2014

I knitted!

Specifically I made what turned out to be a little rug for October, and a little lilac bunny for Amelia.

The rug was supposed to be a bunny, but the I made the swatch too big, and I knit it on needles too small, so I got this super dense fabric that really couldn't be anything other than a doll rug.

So I tried again, and I got the square done before I went to sleep this morning, and finished it as a bunny before work this afternoon. The bunny is a little rough, but I think it's a good first try.

I put the pompom in the wrong spot to follow the pattern by accident. I couldn't figure out why it looked off until I pulled the image back up. Oh well, I'll do it the other way next bun.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

I'm growing again.

In news of the weird and interesting, I'm fairly certain I've gone up another half-shoe size. It probably happened when I was out of work and not GOING anywhere, which is why I didn't notice, until I was working. I've been slowly (or not so slowly) dropping the weight I picked up on the Lithium and while my ankle was broken and I was unemployed and healing. So it took me a month to realize my discomfort wasn't just that my shoes are nearly worn out, or that I was re-adjusting to walking around and being on my feet so much, but that my shoes were actually too small.

I actually was peering down at my foot the other day and realized it looked odd to me. I've gotten used to my feet looking short and stubby and swollen, and given that this was probably after a long shift of pacing the floors I expected them to look super puffy like flint-stone feet, but instead I saw a longer, flatter foot. Still wide, as they've always been, but more proportionally normal.

I wonder how long my growth has been stunted by my thyroid not working correctly. I think my thyroid being PROPERLY functional, in addition to the testosterone is what has caused my growth. My shoulders don't seem wider than they were, but I've had broad shoulders since I was 13. My hips continue to not look like much like hips, and I continue to lack much of a backside.

Osaka remarked the other day, that in my month(?) of working I have lost enough weight/mass, that I look like a guy in a poorly made fat suit, more than a chubby dude. It's a weird look, but I think it will even out as my body adjusts to this job/re-activity.

I don't think I've gotten taller this time, but it will be interesting to see, next time I see my doctor.

Over the last 5 years, with my thyroid functional most of this time, I have grown 2 inches in height, and my shoe size has gone up several times now. I'm not sure exactly what my shoe size is now, I think I'm a US size 8 mens. I know that last time my feet grew I was pretty frustrated at the time, since I hadn't gotten much wear out of some of the shoes I had bought in the last year and they were in very good condition still. I donated them to Goodwill.

The shoes that are painfully too small now, are my LL Bean size 7 1/2 snow shoes. They are so comfortable and have such great support that they were my every day shoes for almost 2 years. They are worn almost all the way through now because I wore them just about every day. They run snug according to the customer reviews, so when I ordered them, I was actually a size 7 still, but I grew into them, and now I've outgrown them.

It was really weird when I found myself FIRMLY in the Adult Mens show section when I bought my black DCs earlier this year. They are tight and still in fantastic condition, and I should replace them with new shoes that fit correctly as soon as I reasonably can.

This is one frustration that I didn't expect. Who the heck has a growth spurt into their thirties? How long was my thyroid literally holding me back? Why is it suddenly all happening now, in the last two years or so? My testosterone dose has been stable for quite a while now, so was my thyroid just enough out of whack that I didn't know it until Lithium tried to kill it?

I've grown accustomed to being short, and a weird shape, and now everything is kind of evening out, and I'm becoming proportional, and it's really a bit unsettling for me. I'm still short, but my hands look like adult hands. My feet are still small but they are longer, more adult looking feet. It is so confusing.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

I can't tell if this is Bi-Polar Depression or my Holiday Depression.

I posted something stupid to facebook that I feel got thrown out of proportion. The basic feel of it was, if you shop on Thanksgiving day or Black Friday then SCREW YOU.

I have worked retail for most of my working life, excluding only my time at Six Flags Over Texas, which was my first job, and the cell center for TicketMaster that I worked at in South Texas.

That is roughly 16 years of retail experience, since I started working at 15. Most of it working directly with customers, either on the sales floor or in a specialist position. And, I've simply had enough.

My body can't handle the strain of pacing the concrete floors. My joints can't handle the bending down, and getting down on my knees or heaven forbid, crouching to sort and straighten products on the lower shelves. I feel ridiculous about it, as many people happily continue to work retail for much of their working lives, but I just can't do this.

I'm working short shifts, but mostly closing shifts, so I'm there after I'm scheduled, cleaning up the store. I'm expected to be available on my days off in case they need someone to come in, if someone calls out, or they discover they don't have coverage for other reasons. None of this bothered me much when I was 18, 19, and when I first returned to work after being a stay at home spouse for 7 years, but time has not been kind to my body.

While I have been slowly and carefully losing weight and trying to get into shape, my year+ on anti-psychotics tanked my years of progress slowly and healthily losing weight and maintaining muscle mass.

In addition, since I turned 30, I have noticed a huge increase in joint pain, rather than general discomfort, and while some of it likely has to do with my weight, a good portion can be attributed to hyper-mobility, which I have recently learned breaks down the joints over time. I have been double-jointed my whole life. I learned very recently that this is WHY my ankles roll, sprain, and break so easily. This is WHY my arms will pop out of socket at the shoulder, and why I have swelling and pain in all of my joints at the slightest change in air pressure.

And if that wasn't enough to contend with, I just don't have the patience anymore, or the clueless apathy of a teenager to put up with customer abuse. I get ANGRY when have finished cleaning and organizing my designated area and then turn around to put the last item on the shelf and find utter chaos where a moment ago there was perfect organization. There was a time I would laugh it off and start over. Now I grit my teeth and start over. And then I bristle when at the end of the night, someone (anyone) makes a passing comment that my section needs straightening. I have been doing straightening ALL DAY.

Add to this, that I am now bringing home HALF of what I was bringing home on Unemployment, which was HALF of my pay at the previous job. So, while it's a good company to work for, I'm taking home a quarter of my previous pay, for a job with much more daily abuse. I can't even properly pay my bills.

I'm having issues with Mania, and I can't do anything about it. I am taking my meds but I can't figure out how to apply for medical assistance as an adult without children in my state. I know there is a way to do it! I just can't find it.

I'm also having frequent migraines from stress and I have run out of my migraine medicine. I have a script for it, but it runs about $140 without insurance, and I don't have that. So I've been working through a migraine since late Thursday (Thanksgiving) and I don't have another day off until Wednesday. And there is absolutely no way for me to GET my medicine, despite having the prescription.

Things are strained at home too. I barely see my BFF, and when I do, it's "Okay you're home safe, I'm going to bed now, because it's nearly 1am." I'm thankful that she stays up to make sure I get home okay, but because she is exhausted I frequently go to sleep wondering what I have done to upset her.

I just can't even begin to deal with all of this. I have tentatively planned to get a degree for Interpreting for the Deaf through TCC (Tidewater Community College), which is a 2 year degree, because while ASL is not the chosen language in England, if I can work part time (even before I'm certified, but once I have the basics) Interpreters make about $25 per hour out here, so if I could swing 20-30 hours I could save for my international move, and also pay for my living expenses fairly easily.

This IS what I want to do, but I'm terrified. I have no idea what ASL will do for me in England. I plan to learn BSL once I get over there, and I'm thinking I might be able to do translation on a gig by gig basis at Museums and working with tourist groups with the ASL.

I'm just so frustrated, and angry right now.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Riots and Outrage in Ferguson

I find myself incredibly disheartened for a second time in my relatively short life, when an obviously guilty person goes free. This case was far more upsetting and obviously rigged than the OJ Simpson trial. I mean, all those eye witnesses, and video of the actual shooting of Mr Brown, and the fact that Officer Wilson's testimony didn't even match the police recordings of the event. Also that several of the Ferguson PD were outed as card carrying members of the KKK.

But of course, justice was served last night, because the white man was just defending himself against an unarmed man surrendering himself to the police, with his hands in the air. There was certainly nothing wrong with the refusal to indite. Even OJ got an indictment. Wilson though he's just an upstanding citizen who is free to gun unarmed men down in the streets, and leave their bodies in the hot sun for FIVE HOURS for the world to see, casually ignoring the city population expressing outrage, except to try and confiscate any incriminating video that might have been taken of the unarmed man being gunned down in the streets.

No, there is no racism in America. None what-so-ever. No racial tension between any two people in the whole of the country. This wasn't about a man getting away with murder just because he could and felt that he was legitimately within his rights to gun down an unarmed man.

Nothing wrong with any part of what happened. Nothing wrong with the riots, the looting, the attacks on the media and PEACEFUL PROTESTORS.

I do not even begin to have words for the depth of my fury

I have had to unfriend no less than three people within an hour of waking up, on facebook, because of a huge dissonance in expressed opinion, to the point of offensiveness.

We don't have to agree on everything (or even much), but I'd like to think that my associations are with people whose eyes are open and are willing to admit that there is corruption in the world, even in our own country.

About Me

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Welcome to The Cupcake Club! This Journal is to showcase my crafts and designs. I design, sew, and craft, primarily for my Asian Ball-Jointed Dolls. I also dabble in interior and architectural design, but I do most of that with programs like The Sims 2, with tons of custom content.

I also post about the things I enjoy, which are sewing, photographing my dolls, designing new outfits, knitting, which I started in September of 2008, thanks to my Mom, and occasionally drawing, or painting.

My interests include the above, design, in most varieties, Anime, Manga, Crime Dramas, and videogames of various kinds (Guitar Hero, Dragon Quest, etc). :3