Monday, September 15, 2014

Talk of chest surgery.

This is kind of a delicate thing but I feel the need to put it out there. I have been going over the whats and hows and I pretty much have it figured out for the rest of my transition.

My plan is to do all the paperwork and finish the legal end, and then either try to raise money for chest surgery here in the US or wait until
Steve and I are legally married in the UK and deal with it then.

On the one hand, I would really prefer to be done with it proper before I get married, so I don't feel at all self conscious in wedding photos worried about whether or not my binding is obvious. Also my general health would improve without all that literal weight on my chest, including alleviating back pain.

On the other hand I want to be reasonable and think that we might be able to get it partially covered by the NHS if I wait until we are legally married in the UK. However it could be that we still have to pay for it privately, in which case, why the hell am I waiting? We can't afford it either way, and this is a necessary surgery for medical as well as psychological health.

The things that I'm dealing with are that I am currently not employed. Even if I WERE employed, insurance refuses to cover even a portion of chest surgery, even though there are real medical reasons for it, aside from being transgendered. That, and even if I wait to go to the UK, if NHS won't cover it (even partially) that means that my dear sweet husband has to be willing to pretty much pay for it in it's entirety because I won't be able to work until my citizenship is completely sorted, which could be anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. And while I am sure he would do that for me, I don't think he should HAVE to.

So one of the things that I am considering is using a fundraising site to try to gather enough for chest surgery. There are several surgeons in the Virginia Beach area, and several on this coast, so I could garner enough for the average quote for surgery and a bit for traveling costs and be okay.

The main reason I am even considering this as an option is that, I am having a difficult time finding work, and even while I am working, every cent I have, is immediately going to rent and bills. The money that I managed to set aside previously immediately went to having my wisdom teeth removed, and I have not been in a position to set aside any money since.

So, I want opinions. What are the odds that I could raise enough money via a fundraising site (%100 transparency, everyone will know exactly what they money is going to)? Also, how do I get past that part of me that feels like asking for help is wrong? I mean any help, not just financial. Asking for help makes me feel weak, helpless, and worthless, but there is just no way that I can raise enough on my own.

Based on the quote I got at the last surgeon that I visited, I will need at least $9000, and if I have to travel to a different surgeon (like a specialist) it will be closer to $12000, including traveling costs.

So, if I decide to go with a fundraising for medical reasons site, who should I go with? I know there are a few different options, and the average fee they take is about %8-9 total.

Is it a pipe dream? Do I just have to suck it up and live with binding for the rest of my natural life? Thoughts?

Saturday, September 6, 2014

My initials are still RMC.

In exciting news, I received back my name change paperwork today. I was a bit drugged from migraine meds and benadryl so it took me a moment to figure out why I had the same form in triplicate and couldn't find the rejection letter telling me how to fix it. I also didn't initially understand where there was an official seal on all three if it had been rejected.

Then it all clicked into place and I realized that no, in fact I don't have to correct and resubmit, my name change is done and official. Now I just have to contact ALL the places and things and get it updated, and speak with my doctor about getting my medical letter(s) in order so that I can have the right letter on my state ID and apply for my passport with the M in spring when I get my tax return.

I plan to go to the DMV on Thursday pretty early and get my Virginia ID with my new name, and then go around to the bank, and my doctor's office, and correct my name in their records, to start with. I will call ahead and see if my regular doctor is there, and if I can leave him the forms to fill out and come pick them up on another day. Having that letter is the final step to getting my corrected gender recognized on the state and federal level.

I know I'm not done yet, but I am feeling hesitantly positive. I've finally actually gone through with the name change and even with some hiccups in my paperwork not being quite correct (I used an outdated form the first time, and sent in a non-notarized form the second) it was much easier than I expected it to be. I should have done this years ago.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Dedication is spending all day searching for doll props.

I intended to set all this up about mid afternoon but after I methodically searched my entire bedroom I realized that my little Sanrio mini colored pencils are NOT in the apartment. I do have these other little colored pencils though, which I found searching for my like 4 sets of Sanrio character colored pencils.

So, apologies that it's so dark. I brought out ALL the tinies, but Reji is off playing with Ringo's Albert (B&G Kevin[Mouse]) in the background.

I should also note that after I had Ringo help me bring all the littles out, I startled upon leaving the bedroom because OH NO HALF MY DOLLS ARE MISSING! D: ...Because they sit right by the door, and I reflexively look at them when I turn out the light as I leave the room.

Then I came into the livingroom and went HOLY COW I HAVE A BUNCH OF TINIES. @_@ Not all of them participated in coloring, because I didn't have enough room to pose them all with paper and pencils. So Earnan, Doran, October, and Noland all just kind of observed from the playmat, rocking horse, and rocking chair respectively.

All drawings by me, except for TJ's awesome hotrod that he won the race with. ;) That was drawn by the lovely Osaka!

Bonus Robbie with October after I cleaned up and put everyone else back where they sit.

So there you go. I spent all day digging under, around, and in my bed, looking through doll bins, searched the closet, and finally found the colored pencils after I had completely given up and just decided to reorganize everything. =_=

Friday, August 29, 2014

Happy 9th Ro!

So I was going back through my livejournal trying to find the first photos of Ro I ever took, to find evidence of his unaltered Dream of Doll default faceup, and I realized that HOLY CRAP TODAY IS HIS 9TH BIRTHDAY! Or Anniversary. However you want to put it.

It was 9 years ago today that he arrived to me. I waited on the steps all day long for the postman, and immediately took grainy photos with a borrowed webcam trying him in all the things I had purchased while waiting for him to arrive.

In honor of his 9th Anniversary I have finally pulled him off that "replacement" (Dec 2006) Dollmore body, and stripped his face. I have scrubbed that body, and need put it up for sale. It's in like new condition, no damage what-so-ever, just some resin mellowing with age. It's never even seen daylight.

I need to properly compare his resin to the normal skin Kid Delf event head I got with Zephi and see if Luts Normal Skin will match okay. I like Zephi's body, and it's similar in shape and style (but with MUCH better posing) to the original Dream of Doll (DOC) body.

I would like to put him on the type 3 Luts KDF body, and give him Illusion Spirit 1/4 jointed hands as a special gift to both make him look more mature, and to make up for neglecting him for the last seven years.

The Luts current normal skin resin is much more pink but I think with a good faceup with the heavy blushing I like for him, the resin difference wouldn't be very obvious. I can certainly put up with a color difference more easily than I can the stylistic difference that put me off him on the Dollmore body. He was too tall and willowy on that body, and a bit too feminine in features. Or I may just do white skin since the old Dream of Doll resin is SO pale.

Happy birthday Ro! Your face is clean and you are no longer on the WRONG body. Hopefully after all this time I can find the right one for you.

Legos and Zephi and Ninja Turtles! (Oh My!)

Yesterday afternoon I got a Ninja Turtle Lego set which rounded out my collection and got me my missing turtle Leonardo. It's a more recent set than my others so he's got some cartoon scuffs like he's been in a fight or two. Below is my entire Ninja Turtle Lego collection, as well as the limited Flashback Shredder minifigure I got with my Birthday Lego set.

I also received a Nanoblock Violin set from Osaka a while ago, and I was waiting for the right doll and time to put it together. We determined that Zephi might be that doll, so I did a little wordless photo story of him assembling it. I think I need more of these sets for him. @_@

And I know this post is already image heavy, but here are some photos from the Lego City I've cobbled together from my Creator House sets, LOTR/Hobbit sets, and Castle sets.

I've done some Minifig customizing to make some Child Legos for my city, and finally my Lego Rory, Steve, and child family.

It will become even more diverse when I have the room to set up a huge table and spread things out as I have some of the "girl" Lego sets like the High school, and other stuff to diversify my town. Also all the Marvel Super Hero stuff, and a random Dino from the Raptor set I managed to get on Ebay all by itself for under $15.

Monday, August 25, 2014

5 years on Testosterone.

Oh by the way it's been five years on testosterone as of like three days ago. I was trying to do a photo every year but that kind of flopped. So here is the first image from like 1 week on Testosterone (closest to PRE that I have), and 5 years.

This picture is about a month old because I need a haircut like woah and I'm in that place where I'm trying to decide if I want to cut my beard short, again.

I look roughly the same now but my hair is a half inch longer all around. I posted this to the Beards group on Ravelry at the end of July.

It's really weird to be at the end of this, and it will be interesting to see what sort of changes I have over the next five years. I've also taken out my lip ring, started dating seriously after a couple of years, gotten engaged after a couple of years.

At this point I look like my Dad if I don't cut my hair regularly and it kind of freaks me out. The huge fluffy beard doesn't help. I love my father but I have Daddy issues. 

This photo is from tonight:

I've had a week long migraine so.. no judging please. :P

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Light at the end of the tunnel.

In exciting (for me) news, I have started the process of my name change. I put in the paperwork yesterday while I was down near the courthouse. Soon (7-10 business days) my legal name will be Rory Mathias C***.

Once I have that I can get my new ID, and I discovered in looking that in 2012/2013 they simplified the process for updating my gender marker on IDs on the state and federal level. There is an actual form, and template letter respectively that I have my doctor sign and fill out and I can use that at the social security office, DMV and also for my passport.

I need to get into contact with my doctor and ask him about it, but I've been having migraines an awful lot lately so it's been difficult between that and my sleep schedule to try and talk to people or schedule things.

If all goes well, I could finish the legal aspect of my transition by the new year, and with my health as it is, I can put off having chest surgery for a while, and it won't be an issue since insurance won't cover that regardless of my gender marker.

I am incredibly excited, if a bit nervous, because this means my long road is nearly over at five years in. It takes longer for some people and shorter for others but I've gone at a slow and steady pace and been careful and precise and I think that has paid off in the end.

The legal stuff that is making things easier for me, didn't exist when I started. 5, 10 years ago I would have had to hire a lawyer and fight the state of Texas to be able to get anything finalized legally. I don't have to do that now. I can get it changed Federally with my doctor's letter.

I know it's not at all final yet but this is the most progress I've had since I started the medical process.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Doll Clothes for sale.

I have some doll clothes up for sale to help with expenses until I successfully find work. I have some dolls I will be putting up over the weekend but I need to wait for daylight to photograph them.

DOA threads for SD Boy clothes, and MSD/Minifee girl clothes, respectively. I also have a wig, a couple pairs of eyes, and 3 (maybe 4) dolls to list.

It's been awhile since I've sold anything on DOA and I don't think I like having to create a bunch of separate threads for wigs, clothes, eyes, and dolls. The dolls being separate makes sense, but seriously I don't think having a single wig or two pairs of eyes at the bottom of a clothing thread should even be an issue. It feels silly to make a thread for a single item that might sell for less than $30.

Doll threads will hopefully all be up this weekend.

Not for sale, pictured before are Robbie and Zephi who modeled some of the clothes.

About Me

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Welcome to The Cupcake Club! This Journal is to showcase my crafts and designs. I design, sew, and craft, primarily for my Asian Ball-Jointed Dolls. I also dabble in interior and architectural design, but I do most of that with programs like The Sims 2, with tons of custom content.

I also post about the things I enjoy, which are sewing, photographing my dolls, designing new outfits, knitting, which I started in September of 2008, thanks to my Mom, and occasionally drawing, or painting.

My interests include the above, design, in most varieties, Anime, Manga, Crime Dramas, and videogames of various kinds (Guitar Hero, Dragon Quest, etc). :3