Still neurotic.

I am firmly in the midst of a manic swing and back toward a mixed state I thing I think, which is making communication challenging. With the fall semester over and Christmas this.. Friday I am working long shifts but my work schedule is still set up for school so I have my first proper day off since school started today. I slept in till 10am. I am both wired and exhausted. I feel overstimulated and worn out.

I have had pain levels near my the higher end of my pain-scale from the weather jumping all over the place and my joints freaking out over that.I spent like that last week of school with my knitting gloves, the ones from the craft store for people with arthritis to help with compression and prevent too much pain or swelling. I've also been taking as much ibuprofen as I can safely taken with my prescribed medications.

I don't think I like the migraine medications that the neurologist gave me. They help but I can't tell how much of the fogheadedness is from medication and how much is depression.

I hate this time of year. I am so tired of complaining about being sick, tired of being broken.

I feel like I am making people upset online and off and I am unaware of it until later. This is frustrating. This happened when I was on lithium and I am really not sure I can handle losing all of my friends again because I am completely and obliviously being a jerk.

I am aware this is week of Christmas and people have lives and are busy and I am probably barely a blip on their radar, but I have nothing to go on, and that makes me really anxious on top of the mania.