Auf Wiedersehen 2015!

I don't generally do a reflection of the prior year and hopes or thoughts for the new one, because I'm not generally having a great time this point in my year. However, 2015 merits reflection.

I started 2015 in a long-term and long-distance romantic relationship, and while the friendship remains the engagement is broken. I have many feelings about this, but not much way to easily express them or figure out the healthiest way to express them so I flounder a bit. I'm not used to a healthy end to a romantic relationship which leaves me a little confused on how to deal with the sense of loss, especially when I still have a deep and abiding friendship. So I kind of put my feelings on a shelf and through myself into my schoolwork and HARD, and that worked out I guess, except that it probably stressed my immune system more than school might have on its own.

This leads me to, my general physical health which is in somewhat worse shape than what I had at the beginning of the year. I've spent the summer and fall in and out of the hospital, first for surprise pneumonia in June and then for.. mystery symptoms that I can't recall. Probably pain. I honestly don't remember clearly. I think the first time I went back it was because the pneumonia had not cleared up, and after that it was just that my general health was not well, and mysteriously high levels of pain, and incredibly high heart rate without high blood pressure to match. Oh and the time that I passed out at work and it was witnessed. That may have been blood sugar related. Who knows.

Also of note, we (Osaka and I) reached the final tipping point of we can't keep doing THIS (living paycheck to paycheck) stringing ourselves along and trying to live in Virginia Beach when we just can not do it on our own. Time to figure out what to do. After a whole lot of very blatant signs and my ignoring them it became clear that I am supposed to go back to Texas. Osaka and DragonMouse will be heading back to Tennessee to the family farm, and we will be staying in close touch because we are still the very best of friends and this is not the end of a friendship, just doing what needs to be done for our health and well being.

So I called Mom and talked to her about it, talked to Faythe about Texas, talked to both about my health and school. I also discussed briefly with my ASL teacher what my options were in North Texas for signing programs but she was more familiar with Austin's schools, so I will very likely be going to from TCC (Tidewater Community College) to TCC (Tarrant County College) to finish my ASL degree and may pursue further education if I can keep up my straight As all the way through and maybe earn a scholarship to one of the very many good North Texas colleges.

I have no delusions that 2016 will be stress free. I have a work intensive spring semester ahead of me as well as a move to prepare for, and I'm still not exactly sure HOW I want to move my things. I don't have a ton of things but I own enough that shipping things isn't necessarily feasible as an option. I also really really hate moving and I'm not super excited about being in Texas.

I'm happy about being near my family, and I look forward to getting to see my nieces and nephews and siblings and all more but I also am not looking forward to bumping into all the people who mocked me as a teen for being who I am. I don't look much different now than I did at 15. Just with a beard.

And I think that's all I can handle at the moment. So, goodbye 2015. 2016, bring me health and fortune please.