I think the worst of my flu is passing. I'm beginning to feel more lucid at any rate. And with my lucidity, I'm feeling angry again. Which may sound dumb, but it's like, when I was passed out from the NyQuil, I wasn't having to deal with anything really.
And now I'm at the point that I'm watching Nick and Ti interact and I just wanna punch her in the face. I don't pretend that I always treated him right, but I feel like I was respectful to him. And she really isn't. I don't think she even cares, and that makes me even more angry.
Our divorce is not about HER. I mean, that's one of the reasons but she shouldn't have any sort of say in any of it. And I resent her for thinking she has a right to say anything about it. When I try to talk to him about things she's always there butting in.
I wish I didn't have to stay to sort out the papers. I wish there was a magical "everything is done" button I could push. I don't want to screw myself in the end, but I am SO tempted to jump a bus back to Texas and just throw caution to the wind. I'm not going to do that, but I just wish, we could get things moving faster.
I just want it all to be done. I want to get started on putting my life back together NOW. Ugh. This is the worst time to be impatient too. So I'm gonna go take a shower, and find something to channel my rage into.