Okay so.. If you are on facebook, and I post something contrary to your opinion, the common response is to ignore it yes? So long as I'm not like, posting directly to your wall or something.
That's what I do at least. If we have different religious or political views, I respect that.
I posted this:
And someone on my friendslist responded with this:
"so, is there an official child toy tester where someone walks around
with the junk hanging out to see if it is a childs toy or not? when we
walk into a toys-r-us and we aren't REALLY sure if it is a childs toy,
we need to just whip it out and see? great, now that i'm thinking about
it, who puts the child safety labels on?..someone that figured out some
weird way to play with the toy with their genitals? no, this is guide is
an utter failure - really, how did hand puppets and batons get past
Which I was like, wait what? Okay that seems like a troll post but I'll
give them the benefit of the doubt. I should have let it go, but this
person has done similar out of left field passive aggressive feeling
responses recently, and it got under my skin.
I posted this in response:
"The point is, there is no reason why boys and girls can't or shouldn't
be allowed to play with the same toys if they want to. Who cares of it's
pink or blue or rainbow? So your kid likes sports, or cooking or
crafts, it shouldn't matter whether they are a boy or a girl."
And they responded thusly:
"yeah, i got the intended message. my point was to mock it. sure, kids
can play with whatever toys they want, but gender-based toys are just as
important as non-gender toys. the push for blurring the line between
the genders is harmful to our society and to the individual."
And my immediate response was RAGE. I've always been a bit sensitive,
and the person in question knew me when I was in my early teens and WAY
more sensitive than I am now, and far more reactionary. The second post
confirmed to me that they were actually trying to push my buttons and
make me uncomfortable.
This guy was a member of one of the first families that welcomed mine
when we moved to Arlington. They had five sons and one daughter, the
baby who was about the same age as Faythe, and her best friend for
years. In recent past Mom dated his Father, prior to Step-Dad, and they
seemed to be getting serious. I added the whole family on facebook,
because even if our parents didn't get married we all grew up together
and theoretically have something in common.
In the last year, the daughter got married, and apparently my transition
was a HUGE (whispered) topic at her wedding. So, that last bit of his
post strikes me as a stab at me personally. "I don't approve of who you
are, or what you do."
I responded with this:
"Name, I have to disagree. Kids know who they are. If your little girl
likes my little pony and ninja turtles there is no reason why she
shouldn't be able to enjoy both. If your son likes my little pony and
ninja turtles, again, there is no reason why he shouldn't be able to
enjoy both. What toys you play with does not determine gender or
sexuality. That's ingrained. I'm not dictating how you raise your kids. I
just don't think that there is anything wrong with playing with toys.
I'm still REALLY upset by this, and I think between this and some of the
other crap he's "playfully" said lately, I probably should just delete
him. But I'm just so mad that he felt the need to comment on something
he obviously disagreed with. I really don't see how my being who I am,
negatively affects him. Our parents didn't marry, he doesn't have to
claim me as family. He doesn't have to pretend to approve, but he can certainly keep that crap far away from me.
I don't like feeling like a target when I share something I feel
passionately about. I'm not saying boys HAVE to play with dolls, or HAVE
to play football. I'm saying they should be able to choose, with no
judgement from their parents or society. I should have been able to play
any sport I wanted to, assuming my family could have afforded the
sports equipment, in addition to taking Choir, Orchestra, and Art. There
is no reason why I shouldn't have been able to play football, or
hockey, or baseball aside from the fact I'm just uncoordinated.
My own parents didn't encourage playing with "boy toys". I'm still not happy about that. Kids that play with toys, just TOYS, with no pressure of choosing
"gendered" toys tend to be well adjusted happy adults. Most of the
people I really like and respect played with both "boy" and "girl" toys.
I'm not saying there is anything WRONG with being a Girly girl, or a
Man's man. But that should be YOUR choice, not your parent's.
I'm done. You don't have to agree with me. Just respect me.