So, we've got internet back. We've had it back for a few days.
We finally got the second half of Pherret's severance pay. That was a nightmare to sort out, and I don't want to go into it.
Osaka is going to be filing official separation papers to make things
easier legally. She's been job hunting and applying locally, as we'd
like to stay out here in Virginia Beach, and I don't make enough to
support our little family on my own.
Ringo is easing back onto his meds, which lapsed when Tricare ran out.
He's got Medicare, and he's on his mood stabilizer, and will be back on
his Adderall soon. There was no way we could afford them $800+
One of the unfortunate side effects of re-adjusting to his mood stabilizer is mood swings, and erratic emotional reactions.
For instance we were woken up on and off most of the night by the dog
(Bitsy) scratching and chewing her backside. She is a very sweet, very
cute, very stubborn little dog, and will not respond to quiet though
demanding whispers to STOP. You have to actually physically get up and
swat her backside, or yell at her, which is not conducive to sleep.
So Ringo and I (who still share a room) did not sleep well. I had
anxious dreams when I did sleep, and so did Osaka actually. That might
have been weather, or some other factor.
Anyway what I'm getting at, is that Ringo woke up in a FOUL PISSY mood.
When I got up, I started to get ready for work (I had to work this
weekend because I had Wednesday and Thursday off for Thanksgiving), and
he'd not only blocked off my dresser access, he'd put a doll on my work
So when I told him, in a stern voice "You need to clean today. I can't
get dressed for work like this, and I need to, NOW. Move the dolls and
get started." He burst into tears. Normally this would have provoked an
apology from him, and maybe a pout about the cleaning.
I lost my temper. I lit into him because we've been TRYING to get him to
clean his side of the room for the last couple of weeks. He's gotten
chunks of it done but he's been a real snot the last several days and
MESSY. The reason I didn't just shift things so I could get dressed is
that there was nowhere to shift them. The entire bedroom floor was
COVERED in his stuff. Like seriously an inch or two of rug visible in
the center, and clean clothing piled up, toys, books, etc all over the
This would have been hateful for Osaka on any normal day, but she was
also babysitting for one of my co-workers today, so she had an 8 year
old and a 2 year old to wrangle in addition to a pissypants 10 year old
It came down to her dumping stuff out on him, the bins he was "sorting"
the bookshelf, to actually get him to do anything with them. The
bookshelf was trashed, which we knew but in his lazy cramming habit, it
got broken more than it had been. So Osaka had to throw that away today.
Ringo had several meltdowns one of which was mid afternoon, terrified
that he wouldn't be able to get the room sorted before I got home from
work. I DID tell him he'd better have it CLEAN, no excuses, before I
left, and I said it in a far less kind manner than I tend to use, so I
know he took me seriously.
I love that boy, but I have a hard time being patient when he reacts
unpredictably. Generally asking him to clean gets a pout but he'll do at
least a half assed job. He's never just burst into tears like that
before, when told to clean up a mess.
There's been a whole lot of "I refuse" trying lately though, and while
some of it is that he's a preteen, I think most of it, is just how angry
and hurt he is, that his father has up and left and straight up said
he's not coming back, after promising his son, time and again, that he'd
be right back in a week, a month, 2 months.
Most of our recent "arguments" have been about how it is perfectly okay
to be upset, and to express that, but it is not okay to take it out on
people who have not done anything but try to help you.
It's challenging being adult when I want to scream right back that I know it's not fair, but since when is life fair.
That said, frustrations with being an adult aside, I am happy. I like my
job. I like my co-workers. I LOVE my BFF Osaka, and her son. And last
but certainly not least, I'm finally in a relationship again, albeit
Steve and I made it official, I want to say November 7th. We've been
friends for YEARS, talked on the phone, skyped, chatted on MSN etc.
There's never been any awkwardness. We understand each other. We have
lots in common. We have plenty of interests NOT in common. It's just a
matter of physical distance.
I've been saying for some time, that the best relationships are built on
A) Honesty, and B) Friendship, and we certainly have that going on both
ends. I'm not saying I have a slew of successful relationships in my
past, but I think I've learned important lessons from each, and that the
underlying problem has frequently been honesty and communication.
A change in chemistry can be overcome, but dishonesty cannot.
Recognizing that in 12 years I will be a completely different person,
and I shouldn't expect (or want) my partner to be the same person.
I know this entry is disjointed and probably hard to follow, but that's how my thoughts tend to flow.
The long and short of it is, I'm back online and I missed ya'll. :]