Blue Hair and Dream Outfit

Okay, so last night I did go ahead and bleach my hair again, and then re-dye it blue. I used the hardcore bleaching kit that can theoretically bleach black hair to platinum blond. I didn't leave it on long enough on the sides and back so it's darker there. The top had gotten so light I was afraid it'd fall out, so I went ahead and washed out the bleach.


You can see that a small amount of the blue color stayed even with the intense bleach. Once my hair was dry again, I applied the blue all over. I had Neil point out the spots I missed in the back so I could get all over coverage. I let that set for about a half hour, maybe 45 minutes, and then washed that out, and had this!


It's kind of gradiated because of the way it bleached. It's mostly blue on top and fades to a pretty bluegreen on the sides and back. I like the shade it is on top best. :3 Though I found when I styled it today that it's too long and thin to properly fluff up, so I'm gonna trim the tips a bit soon, and re-shave my sides, to about a half inch.

And now, on to doll related things! I was saying that I was going to get a dream outfit for one of my teeny boys, and I made the exchange today at the Barnes and Noble in the mall. :3 It was this gorgeous outfit, the Heisejinyao Yo-SD gray and white High Wizard outfit, seen below modeled on Seanan.

And one of him standing next to Phelan:


It's a snug fit, and you can tell it was tailored to fit very well, and very tightly. This is THE best made outfit I own, and the detail is incredible. Photos can't do this justice at all, seriously. I would LOVE to get my hands on the red and black version for Phelan. I also need to get him some black stompy boots. I want white ones for this outfit too. So, if you know where I can find boots like these, in Yo-SD size (preferably in black, and also in white), please do let me know.

And I promised Syrinxfox that I'd post a picture of Onigiri sitting on his pillow with his little hands, so here you go. :3 He's been playing with that little rainbow pegasus since I brought it home.

Awesome Friday!

Hey wow, this is my hundredth post on my family blog. How awesome is that?

Today has been a pretty pleasant day. I got my alimony this morning as opposed to on the first, since it's set up to sync with the military payday, and they get paid early cause the first is Labor Day. So this morning we headed over to the store early about 7 am, to pick up something for breakfast and get caffeine. I've gone without caffeine for about a week now cause money was a bit tight and I'd rather be a little uncomfortable without my soda, than very uncomfortable without enough food. So caffeine and breakfast were a big priority for us. XD

Then, as breakfast wore off, half past noon, we walked down to San Jose, a lovely Mexican restaurant with great food and excellent service. Neil met us up there since he got out of work early, and after lunch we headed over to the mall. We hit up Claires, and Build-A-Bear, and hung out for a little bit at Barnes and Noble. Then we were all getting a bit tired, so we headed over to Walmart so I could pick up a couple of things, after which we headed home.

At Claires Christy found this awesome rainbow sticker pad for a keyboard and I just had to get it. There are several keys I didn't cover for the sake of being able to see the function commands for the upper keys, but I'm really happy with how it looks. They're sort of gummy in texture, but more durable.


Now combined with my awesome rainbow desktop, I have the most colorful laptop I've seen, sort of a Macbook, or custom built something-or-other. I also picked up a bleaching kit for my hair, and will be re-bleaching that tonight. I will probably do the blue tonight too. I'll post pics tomorrow or tonight, depending on how pleased I am with the results, and when I finish up.

And, tomorrow I have something awesome to look forward to. I'm getting a rare-ish outfit that I wanted for my Yo boys when I first saw it, but didn't have the money for. It's a dream outfit I thought I'd totally missed out on, and I'm really really excited about it. X3 I should be receiving it tomorrow evening, making the exchange in person. I'll definately be posting pics of one of the little ones in that as soon as I have it in hand.

I'm also really pleased with what I believe is the final expansion pack for the Sims 2. It's Apartment Life, and I've only tooled around with it for a couple of hours, this morning since it's brand spanking new, but I'm thrilled so far. I just want to figure out if it's possible to own and live in an apartment complex, or if I absolutely have to rent from a Townie. I wanna set up one of my favorite sims as an owner/manager living in the penthouse. And, now I'm off to look up other reviews and clues about this latest expansion. Rorek AWAY! *dons a superhero cape and runs off*

Linguistic Meme

I saw this quiz all over my livejournal friends list, and decided to give it a shot. :3

Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test...

Advanced

You scored 93% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 87% Advanced, and 73% Expert!

You have an extremely good understanding of beginner, intermediate, and advanced level commonly confused English words, getting at least 75% of each of these three levels' questions correct. This is an exceptional score. Remember, these are commonly confused English words, which means most people don't use them properly. You got an extremely respectable score.

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

Take The Commonly Confused Words Test at HelloQuizzy

I dyed my hair <3

Okay so, I've been meaning to bleach and dye my hair for like.. three weeks now, and I finally got to it. Sadly, I had less bleach than I thought so once I'd already applied a bit in the middle I gave up and washed it out. It lightened it a bit in the front.

Quickie before shot, so you can see what my hair looked like before I messed with it.


But, as I was saying, it lightened it up a bit in the top center of my head, like so:


The parts I had that were already blond went platinum and kept the color best when all was said and done. It would have been okay that soft brown I suppose but I would have liked to go completely blond. I just didn't realize I didn't have enough bleach till I'd already applied on the top and center. So, I washed it out, dried it off, and took the above picture of the results.

Then once it had dried I applied the blue to the mohawk part, and let it sit for about a halfhour to let the color set in. Once I washed that out, I flipped it up into the ducktail and took this quickie picture. :3

It looks darker cause it's wet but you can see what I mean about the color sticking best at the tips. It looks like I frosted it blue. XD I'm pretty pleased. Once it dried fully I took one more pic to show off the final color. The orangey bits went greenish, and the white went blue.


All in all I'm thrilled. X3 I figured that the blue washes/fades out after a few weeks so it doesn't hurt to put it in there for now. :3

I'm feeling very sleepy. Title not related.

I fluffed out my profile a bit, and updated my photographs. There is way more I could put there, but I don't really see the point. I've only updated it at all because I happen to have the free time at the moment and I like seeing up to date photos.

This may come as no shock to my family but it was brought to my attention that I show signs of Narcissism. I've linked directly to dictionary.reference.com. I looked it up in the psychology context since it was described to me as more of the psychological definition, than the generic narcissism. I think the Narcissistic Personality Disorder describes me the best of the various definitions I was able to find. None are a perfect match though, so it could just be, that I focus too much on myself in general, which is entirely possible, and even more probable. There are other factors to take into consideration as well. My Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for instance. I really do need to go back into therapy and get re-diagnosed, because I'm NOT bi-polar as originally thought, I think. I do suffer from depression, and I know I have massive anxiety, but I'm also paranoid. There's more but, I want to talk it all out with a psychologist, I think. I'm not keen on going on a chemical stabilizer, because I function very well now.

I'm only briefly going to touch on what happened with Dad yesterday. I heard about it, about midday from Jonathan, without a lot of specifics. I was really worried but I'm very grateful that I was kept in the loop. Thank you. Hopefully Dad will take you seriously, Faythe.

Well, I'm probably making very little sense right now. I feel like my brain has cottonballs all in it. I hate that side affect of the benadryl, but it's the only allergy medicine that actually has any effect on me. I'll try and come back to write more clearly a bit later.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Responding, and a little video blurb.

First, I'd like to respond to what Mom and Jenni wrote on my last entry. I know sometimes it probably seems like I don't care because I don't always respond, but that is not the case at all. I just don't always know what to say.

I know that I need to be willing to put myself out there, and put myself on the line to get what I need and what I want. I also know that the results can often be wonderful. I'm just a little scared about it for the moment, which I know you already know. I do recognize that I can't let my fear hold me back though. I'm working really hard to step past my fears and face the world, strong and ready.

I think you may be right, that there may be lessons to learn, stumbling in the dark. Lessons that I may have missed before. I'll be honest. The people I worry the most about, are you guys, my family. I know that I am drastically a different person than I was when I left Texas. I'm terrified that when I explain the things I've realized about myself, it will make the family respect me less, or think that I am unwell. I realize that I'm being very vague, but it's something that I am not comfortable talking about online. I want to explain on a one on one basis, because I can't do so with the whole family, or the whole world, staring intently. I know ya'll will still love me, but.. I am, I feel rightfully worried. I think it will all make alot of sense, and bring me into focus, for alot of my family members.

But, that's enough on that subject. I wanted to share something fun and sweet.

I've been going swimming alot this summer, with Michael and Christy and occasionally Neil. Yesterday after Michael and I got back from swimming, we were hanging out so that Christy and Neil could have a date, and some one on one time. Little man was being exceptionally cute, and I ended up recording a snippet of our conversation. I want ya'll to see just how adorable and remarkable he is, so I'm linking you to the video, on my photobucket. The album is private, and I'll e-mail the immediate family the guest password. Out of safety and privacy concerns, I didn't want to upload it to youtube, or put it up on my album unlocked. So yes, Little Man being cute with Ichigo. Enjoy!

Thoughts at darkthirty.

I'm in a strange, thoughtful frame of mind. I don't know why exactly. I mean there are many factors, any of which could be the main reason. I'm just not sure why it's such a quiet kind of thoughtful. Usually when I say that I'm feeling thoughtful, it's a very busy bouncy kind of thoughtful, where the everything is racing through my mind at a dizzying speed.

Right now, though, it's a quiet, almost lonely place. I'm not feeling lonely persay, but I'm feeling like I want to be alone, in a quiet room with my quiet thoughts. This works out well for me because it's 4am, and the people around me are sleeping.

I've been pondering myself, and how I feel about my body. I've been wondering why I want so desperately to please other people. If I'm to be perfectly honest, I'm a very selfish person. I do want the people closest to me to be happy, and I certainly don't wish the world in general, harm. However, I feel.. that I shouldn't be judged so harshly for wanting to be myself, for wanting to play with toys, for being too complicated.

Often I feel both desperate for Human companionship, but at the same time, I push my friends and family away. I blame my poor short term memory, but I think too much about myself, to think often of calling my family and friends. I want to change that about myself, but I don't know how. I obviously care about how people feel towards me, because I won't make a promise, if I'm not sure that I can keep it.

I don't know how to explain myself, without making anyone uncomfortable. I wish sometimes that I cared a little bit less about what people think of me, but in some ways I don't care what anyone thinks. I want to be liked, but I want to be myself. How do I draw a line? Where do I take my cues from? Society can be very open-minded, but if you walk around the corner, the same thing that was accepted, just the other way, is being rebuked here.

I don't know why I think about these things, and it's very rare that I feel I'm thinking clearly enough to ponder them. I wonder how clearly I'll be able to think when I'm back in the thick of things.

I do want a busy social life, to fill that emptiness that everyone feels. I want friends, and good food, and fond memories. I want inside jokes, and affectionate pets, and most of all, I want to learn to be happy to be alone.

The thought of living in a home entirely by myself, scares me, more than I can explain in words. The thought of moving across the country, so far away from my family, terrified me. I did it, because I was terrified of losing the man I loved, and because I wanted to grow.

I think that I've grown alot, but I still feel like a very scared, very small child, when I think about being an adult, all by myself. It's not just the comfort and companionship of a spouse or roommate. I'm scared of living. I don't really want to die either, but I mean, I'm scared of the pain that happens with daily experiences.

I think that is one of the reasons, that I joke so much, and try so hard to make everyone around me happy. I want alot of things for myself, but being surrounded by people that won't hurt me, is the most important thing.

When I think about the past, there have been alot of things, big and little, that scarred. Some scars are physical, some emotional, some psychological. If I think too hard about those things, I realize they still sting. I don't dwell on the past as much now, as I did a decade ago, but I don't feel that I have accomplished anything worthwhile either.

I've been stumbling along in my life, going from one tiny minute task, to the next. I'm afraid to look at the big picture. The furthest I've ever planned ahead is about five years at this point, and even so, it's.. not really a solid plan. It's another plan that's safe.

I used to take risks all the time. I have the scars and trophies to prove it. At some point, that reckless but brave side of myself got burned very badly and became scared. I can't pinpoint an exact point, but I can think of several big painful pieces that contributed.

I'm twenty five now. Logic tells me that I won't feel any smarter in another twenty five years. I'll still be stumbling along, but hopefully I'll have more to show for it.

Patches, or the best dream EVER! :D

I just woke from one of the coolest dreams I've had in a long while.

I'm gonna skip ahead to talk about the cat-like creature. There were these little furry guys, that resembled cats, kind of long and noodley, with short, soft, fluffy fur. I remember that they were kind of anthro, in that they could speak human speech, and could walk and move around easily on their hid legs. They were jointed in a cross between cat and monkey physiology, with a long prehensile tail. The behavior was playful but kind of mischievous, like little tiny monkeys. In my dream, this little creatures were common companions, and you could buy them at a general store. They weren't kept in cages, but would make nests in the aisles. Christy and I were something like bounty hunters, and we were tracking this guy who stole our loot, when we turned onto this aisle and saw what looked at first like a kitten-pile. One of the little cat-like creatures bounced over to us and then stood on his hind legs and spoke to us. He(I assume he) asked us if we wanted a companion, and told us he had great tracking skills and was small so he could be very useful. I can't remember the exact words but that was the gist of the conversation. And then I woke up, before responding.

But, Patches (that's what I'm nicknaming the little guy) was just too precious. He was marked like a calico, mostly black with a big prominant orange patch over the left side of his face. It covered one eye, went up to his ear, that was small and shaped like the ear of a Scottish Fold, and the patch also went down and back around his head then trailed into little puffs that stopped about where a human's shoulder blades are. There were other less noticable patches all over, but it was that little half-helmet patch that made him so endearing, combined with his sweet little voice, and his attitude that was reminiscent of Michael, Christy's son. He had sparkling dark eyes, probably brown because the color didn't stand out to me. His tone of voice was somewhat childish, but I gathered that he was very young. I think we were probably going to keep him, and I recall knowing in my dream that they make great companion animals, and that after awhile they became bonded to the humans that took them. I remember knowing that they basically took care of themselves, but liked having Human companions, and required alot of attention, socially speaking.

And, to address the rest of the dream, it was like we were in a MMORPG. It definately wasn't earth, but there were alot of creatures somewhat similar to earth creatures. My creative brain was kicked into overdrive for this dream. I don't remember very much about the rest of the dream because it's been about a half hour since I woke, and I really wanted a record about the awesome cat-monkey-like creatures. The basic premise was that Christy and I were tooling around this place, I think bounty hunting.

But, yes, I'm going to attempt to draw Patches and when I do, I'll post the pictures here, with a link back to this entry. :3

RANT - Ignore if you like.

I just did a really stupid thing... I logged into my Myspace to see if someone I added a few days ago, had posted anything new, which they hadn't. So then I clicked around a bit on my friends and scanned comments.. and stumbled back onto Nick's page.. There was a comment from last month that She wrote talking about how happy he makes her, and how he's the love of her life. And now I want to cry.

It's not that I want to be with him anymore. It's not that they ended up together. It's HOW they ended up together. I trusted her, and tried so hard to get along with her, and kept her as a close friend for a year. A year of my friendship, and she's STILL twisting the knife in my ribs. I'm more angry about the betrayal. I mourn the end of the relationship I had with Nick, because we got along very well, and things were comfortable with him. I loved him very much, and I doubt I'll ever have a relationship that comfortable again. He was the first guy to ever treat me with respect from the start, and while we had rough spots, in the end, he'd generally listen to reason. The only things we ever really fought about were money, and what to watch on TV. We liked alot of the same stuff but he enjoyed movies that I didn't, like the American Pie series, and movies in that particular strain of comedy.

I know there are other guys out there, but when it comes down to it, the same things that made him want to stray (he said I was too masculine) will be something that makes any relationship hard. He never felt that I let him be the man in our relationship. He hated that I like my hair short, and that I'm very social. When we first got together I had a hard time turning off the charm, and he was convinced I was shopping for a new boy, whenever I'd talk to ANYONE.

I'm really worried that no one is going to find me appealing again. People around here, seem to think I'm a lesbian, because of the way I dress, and I'm always with Christy and her son Michael. I like who I am, and I don't want to have to change that again to make a potential mate happy. I stuffed down alot of myself to make things easier for Nick. I kept my hair long for years, even though it made me nearly suicidally depressed. I tried very hard to be feminine for him, even though it goes against my nature. I stopped going out entirely, until we moved to Virginia Beach.

Oh he HATED that. He is a total homebody, and he clings to one person to the world, and resents if they have anyone other than him. I love him, but that drove me crazy. I was a shut-in from about when I was 16, to 19, starting from the rape, and ending about when I got married. I'd go out sometimes when I was friends with Jet, but after that relationship blew up in my face, I didn't leave the house at all, except to go to work, or the store, and occasionally visit my mother or sisters. When we lived with his family in McAllen, we never went ANYWHERE. The only time we went anyplace was if we left work early, then we'd go to the bookstore for awhile. Or, if his mother sent us out to pick up dinner, wherever.

His family is a rant for another time, if I ever fully go into that, but I am ecstatic that I never EVER have to talk or interact with any of them again. I wish some of them the eternal fires of hell, starting before their deaths.

Oh, but I was talking about sociality. He is a shy man. His family never really went many places so, even after he moved away for college, he never really went anywhere. Currently, I'm living with Christy and Michael, and we get out of the apartment almost every single day. Even if it's just walking around the lake(pond) or walking down to the store for something minimal. We get out of the apartment nearly every day, and often most of the day.

Neither Christy, nor I, drive. So, we walk all over, or take the bus if it's too far to walk. We did this for several months before Neil got back from deployment, I've lost significant weight. I'm in better shape than I've been in, since I was about 17. I'm still heavier, but in better physical shape. I feel better, emotionally, than I can ever remember feeling, even taking into consideration my depression that comes and goes.

I'm sorry for going on a long rant, but I haven't really explained anything online, like, at all. Nick didn't really love me anymore, and he loves Brittany because she is apparently the epitome of femininity. I think it's all a show, but they're miserable anyway and it shows, so I don't care. I know I sound bitter. I am bitter. I can't help what I am.

Steampunk Meme

Alot of people on my livejournal friendslist did this quiz and I got curious. I'm pretty into steampunk. :3

Your result for The Steampunk Style Test...

The Ragamuffin

21% Elegant, 45% Technological, 30% Historical, 44% Adventurous and 51% Playful!

You are the Ragamuffin, the embodiment of steampunk playfulness. Chances are, you approach the genre from a much more casual and lighthearted standpoint than most other fans. To you, there is always an element of play inherent in the genre, and you may very well enjoy fashion as much for the opportunity to dress up as for the style itself. You probably wear goggles as an accessory, and rarely as actual eye-protection. Your outfits are likely to incorporate a lot of brown or cream, and combine large boots, Victorian corsets or vests, aviator caps or bowler hats, and gypsy skirts or slacks, simply because you like them all.

Try our other Steampunk test here.

Take The Steampunk Style Test at HelloQuizzy

Drawing dump! Characters.

I've been drawing again. I don't have a scanner anymore so I took pictures of the pages in my sketchbook. I think I posted my self portrait here a little while ago, but if I didn't you can see it here. I've also drawn some of my dolls, as the characters they represent.

First, we have Onigiri and Ichigo. Ichigo is the mischievous looking one in back, in case the riceball necklace didn't give Onigiri away.


Next is Hoshiko, who will be a Sweet Dream Tsubaki. I have her character all worked out, and just need to go about buying her doll shell.


And, lastly I drew Elli as he looks in my mind. He's grown up alot, character-wise than his little Resin form shows. I eventually want to upgrade him to a Latidoll L, who has the right sort of look, but for now he stays in the babyfaced CustomHouse Mars. His name is actually Elijah Samuel, but I didn't like the way it looked in two vertical columns on the drawing.


I still need and want to draw a new header, but I'm feeling very inspired and I think I may work on designing my steampunk mech boy. I need to find a nice balance of clean lines and industrial look. *chews on lip* I also need to refine my ideas for a Unicorn boy, since I've decided to try and sculpt him myself. @_@ Wish me luck!

Doll Header Idea

I am feeling mightily creative. I got a fun idea for drawing a header for my blog. I want to draw all my current dolls as their characters, lounging around a livingroom. I currently have this as a header, and while it works okay, I want something more interesting. I could theoretically pose all the dolls, but that involves alot of fiddling and I had some ideas I couldn't really do in 3-D.. Like
Onigiri floating about the room like a ghost with his little hands floating there.. I have mental images of a rocket pack strapped to the back of his head. e_e I know that sounds really weird.

My main issue is that while I'm sure I could draw it out and it'd rock, I wouldn't have the energy to color it, and I don't just want a black and white picture.. So, I either need to draw it on my computer, or draw it out and color it myself, but that could drag out for months. ;_; Ugh. I may ask Pherret if he wants to color it for me.

Hrmm, I may drawn them somewhat chibified since that is simple and then take a picture and color it digitally, with just flat color. That would work I think. @_@ I like the idea of it anyway.

And, on another matter, I think I'm getting even more comfortable with myself. There are aspects of myself that I don't care for, like anyone has, but they're physical things that can be easily fixed. I've been steadily losing weight and getting into better shape, even just since I've been staying with Christy. My lower legs look more human than they have in years, and I don't need to puff on my inhalor every 20 steps anymore.

I've scheduled a physical for later this month, just to make sure I'm all healthy before I sign the papers and get back to Texas with no health insurance. I'm feeling very well physically but I want to be safe and take care of anything I need to, while I'm still covered by Tricare.

And, that's all for now. :3 I'll post again soonish. ^_^