Drawing dump! Characters.

I've been drawing again. I don't have a scanner anymore so I took pictures of the pages in my sketchbook. I think I posted my self portrait here a little while ago, but if I didn't you can see it here. I've also drawn some of my dolls, as the characters they represent.

First, we have Onigiri and Ichigo. Ichigo is the mischievous looking one in back, in case the riceball necklace didn't give Onigiri away.


Next is Hoshiko, who will be a Sweet Dream Tsubaki. I have her character all worked out, and just need to go about buying her doll shell.


And, lastly I drew Elli as he looks in my mind. He's grown up alot, character-wise than his little Resin form shows. I eventually want to upgrade him to a Latidoll L, who has the right sort of look, but for now he stays in the babyfaced CustomHouse Mars. His name is actually Elijah Samuel, but I didn't like the way it looked in two vertical columns on the drawing.


I still need and want to draw a new header, but I'm feeling very inspired and I think I may work on designing my steampunk mech boy. I need to find a nice balance of clean lines and industrial look. *chews on lip* I also need to refine my ideas for a Unicorn boy, since I've decided to try and sculpt him myself. @_@ Wish me luck!

Doll Header Idea

I am feeling mightily creative. I got a fun idea for drawing a header for my blog. I want to draw all my current dolls as their characters, lounging around a livingroom. I currently have this as a header, and while it works okay, I want something more interesting. I could theoretically pose all the dolls, but that involves alot of fiddling and I had some ideas I couldn't really do in 3-D.. Like
Onigiri floating about the room like a ghost with his little hands floating there.. I have mental images of a rocket pack strapped to the back of his head. e_e I know that sounds really weird.

My main issue is that while I'm sure I could draw it out and it'd rock, I wouldn't have the energy to color it, and I don't just want a black and white picture.. So, I either need to draw it on my computer, or draw it out and color it myself, but that could drag out for months. ;_; Ugh. I may ask Pherret if he wants to color it for me.

Hrmm, I may drawn them somewhat chibified since that is simple and then take a picture and color it digitally, with just flat color. That would work I think. @_@ I like the idea of it anyway.

And, on another matter, I think I'm getting even more comfortable with myself. There are aspects of myself that I don't care for, like anyone has, but they're physical things that can be easily fixed. I've been steadily losing weight and getting into better shape, even just since I've been staying with Christy. My lower legs look more human than they have in years, and I don't need to puff on my inhalor every 20 steps anymore.

I've scheduled a physical for later this month, just to make sure I'm all healthy before I sign the papers and get back to Texas with no health insurance. I'm feeling very well physically but I want to be safe and take care of anything I need to, while I'm still covered by Tricare.

And, that's all for now. :3 I'll post again soonish. ^_^

Pics or it didn't happen.

Okay, so I cut my hair. Or more accurately I cut about half my hair, and then my buddy Pherret did the back for me. :3 I has a mohawk, all proper, not just a fauxhawk. I am massively pleased with how it turned out, and I think I need to get me a pair of clippers like Christy's got. They work infinitely better than the cheapo clippers I got at Walmart about 3 years ago.

You'll have to forgive the camwhore-ish nature of the following photos but I like the funny angles and expressions and such. :3




And one more, that actually properly shows off the hair. Woot.


In case the title and mood of my post didn't give it away, I'm actually doing pretty well. I've been feeling a bit anxious about the final stuff I need to do to go back to Texas, but I'm otherwise doing very well.

Regardless of anything else I am going to miss Virginia Beach, and my best friends here. I miss you too Rissa, and I hope you're doing well in California.

And I'm gonna cut this short now and go search for teeny tiny Yo-SD sized kneelength black leather boots, possibly with silver buckles.

Happy my Birthday!

Today has been the best birthday I've had in some time. Christy was sweet and cooked two of my favorite meals for me today, cheesy tortelini for lunch, and red beans and rice with kielbasa sliced up in it for dinner. In addition to that I spent most of the afternoon playing Zelda: Twilight Princess, and smiling at how cute Link is in it. I stopped stalling and am now just before the final final boss. That's where I always quit because I fail hard at killing Ganon in any game, in any form. Rawr.

In addition to that local day of win, I got calls or text messages from most of my family, and even surprisingly, a Happy Birthday call from Nick. I wasn't expecting that at all so it was a pleasant surprise, as there was no connected drama. That's always a good thing.

Towards evening we ended up watching Star Trek The Next Generation, and making fun of Riker and Diana Troy, and Data. Christy was in a silly but feisty mood, and I followed suit. At one point, I made a few clever (in my opinion anyway XD) quips, that ended in lots of giggling. I had the urge to sing new lyrics to Fergie/The Black Eyed Peas "My Humps". We were sniggering at how chubby Riker gets later into the series, and he was doing the infamous shirt tug and grunts as he sat down or stood up. So I turned and said "I have an incredible urge to sing 'Whatcha gonna do with all that gut, all that gut inside that shirt?'" and then we all giggled madly.

Then Mom called only a few minutes later to wish me a happy birthday, and we chatted about how she's settling into her new place. She was telling me that her new Ward (congregation) was very small, alot like when we lived in a teeny tiny German town called Fredricksburg, Texas. And so I asked her if she was going to sing "It's a small Ward after all", and she chuckled. I love my Mom. She always laughs at my bad jokes in the fun way.

Only ones I didn't hear from today were Dad (I assume he's lost my number and/or just can't remember when exactly my birthday is), Jenni, and Bonnie, and I know the latter two lead busy lives. :3 I hope ya'll are doing very well! *big birthday hugs*

I'm doing much better emotionally than I was expecting to today, since there is alot going on lately. I think it's all thanks to my best bud who literally bent over backwards to make sure I had a lovely day. I don't think I can ever properly express my appreciation. *big squishy hugs*

I am now a quarter of a century old. Huzzah!

Faceups and Photos

I am, apparently a bigger buzz-kill than Buzz Killington (Family Guy reference). Last night I was in a very literal sort of mood and kept spoiling Christy's jokes. And, my own attempts at humor were rather warped and a little creepy at times. Luckily having slept I seem to be over it. I hate it when I get all weird like that.

But, today is the day for photos! I have a few, all doll-related. First, we have Ro, with his new(est) faceup. I need to darken and gloss his lips, and I'd also like to add a bit more blushing but overall I'm much happier with this faceup, than his old one.


This faceup is more like his original, after I thickened his eyebrows and fixed his lips. As some of you may recall the gloss on his lips melted in the Texas summer heat.

And next we have Onigiri, all painted up and on a borrowed body. I need to gloss his lips, but he is completely finished aside from that, and putting in his upper eyelashes. :3


His eyebrows (and lashes) are watercolor pencil, and his blushing and lips were done with pastels. Christy has taught me alot about doing faceups. I'm hoping to learn even more at New York Dolpa next year. Faythe and I are tentatively planning to go together, and I'm going to take the faceup class, and hopefully get a Sweet Dream School A as well.

I also did Brittany(Ti-Chan)'s Mel's face because his faceup had gotten messed up, and she can't afford to send him off and have him re-painted by someone else. I haven't heard what she thought about it yet. I'm only mentioning it at all because I did his when I re-did Ro's face.

I got this cute picture of Ichigo and Onigiri together while O was borrowing a body. I'm rather pleased with how they look together proportionally.


The body I want for Onigiri is a bit small for an SD sized doll. He'll be on the SD10 boy body. I got a picture of them standing next to each other and next to Christy's Hound, Brody for size comparison. Faythe has seen a Hound in person so she may be the only one who can properly tell the scale but still. Onigiri is on an SD10 girl body in this photo which has slightly shorter legs than the boy body, so there will be a smidgen more height on him in the end.


And that's about it for photos. Plus this one of Ichigo because he was looking exceptionally cute that day. Hooray!

I feel kind of dumb.

I got pictures of Ro and Onigiri all faceupped, uploaded on Tuesday when I was out and about with Christy. We did breakfast at Panera bread. I need to take photos of the Laptop bag I've made. It's fun. It's very colorful.

Being out here with my friends, I've really gotten to know myself, and I've become much more comfortable with the feminine aspects of myself. I'm not necessarily one to blow through my money, but I've come to like shopping (even just looking around the stores, I mean) and I'm becoming more inclined to want to buy more pairs of shoes, even if they're all different kinds of sneakers and sandals. I also find myself wanting a large assortment of messenger bags and backpacks. One of the reasons I made my laptop bag myself is because I thought a bland black, navy, or beige bag, didn't properly express my personality. I love bright colors, and always have.
This doesn't really have anything to do with anything but it's what's on my mind, when I'm not stressing over Nick. Well, this, and Dolls. I like the ones I have, and I would like to continue to get more, as finances allow, being reasonable and taking responsibilities into account of course.

I think alot of my family is going to be blown away by the person I've grown up to be. I've still got more growing up to do of course, because I'm of the opinion that no one is ever really fully grown up. I don't think there is a simple black and white between being a child and being an adult. Technically I may be an adult, going on age alone, but there are alot of ways that I am still like a child, and probably will be for a very long time. Just as there are some ways that it seems I have always been more grown up.

Also I realized today something that I have known before. I realized that it's true that if you don't use your brain it deteriorates. I would not be at all surprised if my memory loss and absentmindedness stopped when I start going to College. I'm not saying it will be immediate, but I'm confident that I'll be more able to remember things when I am actively using my brain. I was discussing this with Christy before she went to bed, and she agrees.

I feel like I'm about the dumbest now, as I've ever been, and I know that even three years ago, I wasn't quite this bad. Simple math sometimes stumps me, if I'm to be fully honest. I want to start using my brain again, so I think I'm going to start studying. I want to practice my math skills, my English skills, etc. I don't want to be completely braindead when I go to start College. I will probably pick up an Algebra workbook on the cheap and start practicing, since that was the level I was on when I stopped school. I'll go from there.

Next time, I'll post pictures, but I wanted to just write this stuff out for now.

Pictures!

It's been a little while since I posted photographic proof of my existence. So here:


My hair has grown a bit and then I cut it. So now instead of solid bleached stripes, I have.. blond highlights, sort of. I kind of like it.

I am a little outraged at the moment. TMI for a minute here. I haven't gotten a regular period since it started. Due to stress, hormonal issues, and who knows what else, it's been something I get a few times a year. Last I had one, was December-ish, then minor spotting last month. My body has decided to make up for lost time. I rarely cramp, get fatigue, or any other of those obnoxious symptoms. Today I feel exhausted, sore, bloated, headachey, the works. DO NOT WANT. I was fine with a sporadic cycle. It may have the reason I could never conceive (tests weren't conclusive) but I can't be sure. I don't like it. I said so to Littlest Sis, and she laughed (but not maliciously) and told me it was normal. She's right of course but I'm still a bit outraged. That's enough of that whining though.

I finally got some pictures uploaded (hence the above, of me). None of Declan or Elli because I forgot. I do have some of Ichigo with the Sei Tenshi Jared won, and my School C head Onigiri. Also Phelan, who used to be Reggie, who used to be Gabe. @_@ Phelan is an Irish name that means 'Wolf' and Phelan is a puppy boy. Or, rather he is now. I made him fluffy puppy ears and a tail. That's enough chatter though. Pictures!






And Ichigo, Squee, and Phelan. The head is Onigiri.



And, in unrelated, but relevance news, Nick tells me that he's finally filed papers for Divorce. I guess getting the contract signed lit a fire under his butt. He apparently filed online through a proxy service? It sounds suspicious. Mom, can I scan and send you the papers to have a lawyer friend look over, maybe? I don't trust an internet company that lets you file for divorce in another state, online.

Doing Okay. :3

Okay to clarify on my last post, Nick hasn't dumped Brittany (Ti-Chan) or vice versa yet. I honestly don't think it will work but I don't really care either way. I'm done with him regardless.

And today (Tuesday) we FINALLY got that protective contract signed and notarized. I'll be sending copies out after the 15th when I've got more than $10 to my name. If there are no objections, I'll send copies to Mom and each sister. If you don't want a copy that's fine, but this is just in case, to cover my butt.

That covers that for now. I'll leave him alone for a few days and then ask him what he's decided about how I'm going home (U-Haul, or airplane).

In Doll News, Christy got back from New York Dolpa (A Volks event that I'd love to attend next year) with a doll head for me. It's alot less creepy than it sounds, and it's a head that is pretty hard to get ahold of, since you can only get it at Volks Dolpas (A dolpa is like a huge party with classes you can take to learn how to assemble, paint, and care for your dolls, as well as buying clothing, accessories and a few special dolls there.) and Events, so I'm thrilled beyond words. I'll try to do a picture post soon. I need to take some pictures, and them toddle over to Panera bread one morning to upload and post them. Or at least upload them.

Jared, Christy's brother, won a one of a kind doll called a Sei Tenshi, that is super rare, since you can only receive them as gifts direct from the company. It's really cute with a sleepy face, and little pink wings and hair. It's extra special for him since it was his first Dolpa, and his birthday is this Friday. I need to get pictures of her because she is tiny and precious, and I need photographs to love on for after he goes back to Tennessee, and I come back to Texas. I've made just some undies for her at the moment and I'm still plotting to figure out what other kind of clothes I can make, accounting for her wings that are actually attached to her, rather than the kind that snap on and off with magnets.

All in all, I'm doing pretty well at the moment. I hope ya'll are too.

My ex(in progress) is a lying cheating clown.. but we already knew this.

I am angrier this late night than I have been since late December, early January, when Nick told me he wanted a divorce.

He had some time off coming but wasn't sure of the dates and told me it might start June 6th-ish. I wanted to go and get that contract signed FINALLY and he said he would if he got the time off. Not only did he not inform me that his time off started (6 DAYS AGO) but he's going out of town to visit his Dad in the morning and his leave ends when he returns on Sunday.

Initially, I was so enraged that I hung up and told him I'd talk to him again later. Then after about five minutes I decided to call him back and scream at him a bit. He knew that was coming, so he let the phone ring the first time then turned it off so that it went straight to voicemail. On my third attempt, his NEW girl called me on her cell phone asking in an annoyingly sweet voice (totally false sugar coating sweet) what I needed. I told her to give him the phone, and she refused. I told her again, to give him the phone, and she said "Well he's in the shower." I told her to give him the *insert profanity* phone whether he was in the shower or not, and she said very snippily "I am NOT going to interrupt his shower. You can talk to him later." I told her that she had damn well better give him the *insert more profanities* phone or I was going to walk over and start throwing punches. She refused again and I hung up on her.

I walked back up the stairs and asked Christy's brother (who is visiting at the moment) if he wouldn't mind driving me over there, and he kindly obliged. As I was getting into the car, Nick called asking me what I wanted. I told him not to go anywhere because I was coming over. He tried to convince me not to, and I hung up.

When we pulled in, he was standing in the parking lot looking sullen. I thanked Jared (Christy's brother) and he told me to call when I needed a ride back. My phone battery died about then.

I walked inside with Nick, waited until the door was closed, and screamed at him for a period of time. I didn't check my watch or anything but I basically called him on being a lying cheating son-of-a-gun, and if I had a curse jar, I'd have needed to put about $100 in there from this.

Basically I screamed at him like I've been wanting to since December, but I've been holding back because I thought maybe, just maybe, we could have a civil separation and divorce. He pouted like a five year old boy and tried to make excuses. I called him on delaying signing this contract, and he complained but finally agreed he would.

I threatened (and plan to follow through) that if he didn't get the day off to get this done (LIKE WE COULD HAVE THIS WEEK) that I would go storming down to his work and cause him all kinds of hell, even if it left him homeless or completely screwed for life. I told him I was sick of his bull manure and if he wanted me out of his life, then he DAMN WELL better do what it takes.
After a bit more of the same I finally calmed down, loved on Decke, and called for a ride back to Christy's. I'm still very very angry, but I don't want to worry Christy because she leaves for New York in the morning. I'm watching Michael her son, over the weekend.

Please, as always keep me in your prayers.

Thank you Jenni, for giving me the strength to finally tear into him like he deserves.

Doing Better.

So, I'm doing considerably better than last time I posted. I mean not a ton has changed but I'm feeling better.

I've been making a laptop bag that is turning out nicely and colorful and such. When it's all done, I'll take and post pictures. I hope everyone is doing well.