Friday, July 4, 2008

I feel kind of dumb.

I got pictures of Ro and Onigiri all faceupped, uploaded on Tuesday when I was out and about with Christy. We did breakfast at Panera bread. I need to take photos of the Laptop bag I've made. It's fun. It's very colorful.

Being out here with my friends, I've really gotten to know myself, and I've become much more comfortable with the feminine aspects of myself. I'm not necessarily one to blow through my money, but I've come to like shopping (even just looking around the stores, I mean) and I'm becoming more inclined to want to buy more pairs of shoes, even if they're all different kinds of sneakers and sandals. I also find myself wanting a large assortment of messenger bags and backpacks. One of the reasons I made my laptop bag myself is because I thought a bland black, navy, or beige bag, didn't properly express my personality. I love bright colors, and always have.
This doesn't really have anything to do with anything but it's what's on my mind, when I'm not stressing over Nick. Well, this, and Dolls. I like the ones I have, and I would like to continue to get more, as finances allow, being reasonable and taking responsibilities into account of course.

I think alot of my family is going to be blown away by the person I've grown up to be. I've still got more growing up to do of course, because I'm of the opinion that no one is ever really fully grown up. I don't think there is a simple black and white between being a child and being an adult. Technically I may be an adult, going on age alone, but there are alot of ways that I am still like a child, and probably will be for a very long time. Just as there are some ways that it seems I have always been more grown up.

Also I realized today something that I have known before. I realized that it's true that if you don't use your brain it deteriorates. I would not be at all surprised if my memory loss and absentmindedness stopped when I start going to College. I'm not saying it will be immediate, but I'm confident that I'll be more able to remember things when I am actively using my brain. I was discussing this with Christy before she went to bed, and she agrees.

I feel like I'm about the dumbest now, as I've ever been, and I know that even three years ago, I wasn't quite this bad. Simple math sometimes stumps me, if I'm to be fully honest. I want to start using my brain again, so I think I'm going to start studying. I want to practice my math skills, my English skills, etc. I don't want to be completely braindead when I go to start College. I will probably pick up an Algebra workbook on the cheap and start practicing, since that was the level I was on when I stopped school. I'll go from there.

Next time, I'll post pictures, but I wanted to just write this stuff out for now.


  1. I think we "human beans" are way more rich and diverse than we typically think of ourselves. And I totally agree with you that we keep on growing [if we are lucky, or blessed] throughout our mortal lives.

    I think you will be surprised at how much I have mellowed in the past couple of years. I know *I* am.

    Have been meaning to tell you that LittleBit and I ran into a Doll party at the cheesecake place last Saturday. We went over and said hi to them after we paid our bill. Nice bunch of people, most of them DOD folks. I think you'll enjoy them once you're back here in TX.

    Love, Mom

  2. I was very impressed while reading your post. You know that we love you and are looking forward to re-getting to know you some more once your back home.

  3. Self-awareness is awesome, when you can stand it (sometimes I can't bear to take a real look at myself).

    I think it's a great idea to study before going back to college. I was worried when I went back to school after 6+ years off, but after several weeks I was less nervous and I found that my mind "woke up" and I was able to do all of the things that I could do before.

    I'm sure you'll do great, and I'm looking forward to seeing you again and seeing who you've become and who you'll grow into.


About Me

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I'm Rory or Rorek in most places. I design, sew, and craft, primarily for my Asian Ball-Jointed Dolls. I also dabble in interior design, but I'm a little out of practice.

I post about the things I enjoy, which are sewing, photographing my dolls, designing new outfits, knitting, which I started in September of 2008, thanks to my Mom, and occasionally drawing, or painting.

I also post about Life Events and how they affect me and those that I love.

Currently I am living in DFW, Texas in the USA and working towards a degree in Theology.