I don't know.

Anyone know if there is a way for me to look up my GED test scores? I need that information if I'm gonna try to go to college. Hrmm.

Had one of the first "discussions" about the divorce tonight. Expressed some concerns, yelled a little bit. I feel a little bit better but still nervous. As things stand I stand with the most to lose. I have no job, no drivers license, no car, no money, and no marketable skills. I haven't had a job since Nick joined the military almost three years ago. We were trying for kids, and I wanted to be a stay at home mom.

Nick thinks we would have wound up here anyway if it weren't for Ti. He thinks it was just a matter of time. I don't really agree but I'm not sure what I can trust anymore. I'm just really angry at this point. I'm trying to keep it together so I don't get shafted. Alot of my friends think I'm being too easy on them. I don't know. I don't want to screw them over, anymore than I want to be screwed.

I don't know my rights, and I don't know where to look. If things can stay where they are (awkward but not violent) I don't think Nick will completely shaft me. Legally according to Texas marriage laws I'm not entitled to alimony. I can't support myself as is either.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to go home to Texas right now, except for a visit, and even if I did, I don't want to go and have to live with some of my family till I get on my feet. I had to do that once when Nick and I first got married and it was really hard for everyone involved. The job market is even worse now. I do know that the military WILL pay to send me and my things back to Texas, when the divorce is final, or if I want to leave beforehand or whatever. I don't want to leave my cat though and I couldn't take him with me if I did stay with family.

I'm so freaked out right now. I've been having alot of trouble staying calm, and my asthma is stress induced, so I need to make a doctor's appointment and get my inhaled steroid refilled and get more refills for my emergency inhalor.