NERVES.

I'm anxious, nervous and excited. So much so that I'm nauseous which could either be my migraine returning with a vengence, hunger, or.. actual nausea. Stress makes my insides to unhappy things.

In positive news I've gotten several calls for 1st interviews in the past couple of weeks, and one of those resulted in an actual job offer (at Lowe's), confirmed yesterday when my pending drug results came in. I expected to fail the drug test because of some of my medications and told my interviewer so. She pushed back my start date (to Tuesday the 31st), just in case that did happen, so that I could coordinate with my doctor's office and the drug test office, but it ended up being unnecessary.

So, now I am a bundle of nerves. I've stayed up all night reading threads on Den of Angels and trying not to be flung in either direction (MANIC SPENDY or anxious depression). It's easy not to be spendy when I don't yet have a paycheck to blow. On the other hand catching up in the Volks MSD, Luts Kid Delf, and Bluefairy Tinyfairy discussion threads with all of the beautiful owner pictures has lengthened my extended wishlist somewhat.

One of the heads I want was the Luts 2014 winter event kid delf head.. which there are two of on the marketplace for $50 and $55 shipped in the US respectively. I could theoretically swing that if I were working already, and I think it would work better than all the heads I was poking at to be my Pokemon trainer kid. I believe this is the Unicef donation head that Luts had up. I will want Osaka to look at the heads to confirm, but I think this is the case, and I saw a couple of them with faceups on bodies in the Kid Delf discussion thread and it is the right sort of young looking cutie to be a fresh faced pokemon trainer.

I'm wanting to get out with Osaka today but I don't have specific plans in mind. I think we will wait and see what the weather brings. x_x I was going to go to the post office to send off the eyes back to Dollmore but I think I would rather do that on Monday to keep myself occupied for part of the day.

I don't think I posted about it hear, but my Dollmore order arrived and while some of it was absolutely as expected, all of the eyes were.. not damaged per se, but not up to snuff. I had ordered two pairs of identical black eyes, one pair for Osaka, and one pair for myself, and also the dark purple eyes for Crunchy. Of the four black eyes, no two were alike. They were all roughly 16mm, but the iris size, dome shape, and even intensity of color varied too much to have even one matched pair. Crunchy's eyes have a defect at the edge of one of the irises, and the whites look marbled (same as the black eyes). I've tried the eyes in his head, and it's possible with care to hide the defect but I'm not happy about it. I looked around to a bunch of different sites and no one makes anything remotely close to what I wanted for him so.. I'll be keeping that pair defect and all, but not happily.

Dollmore has been great about it, but I'm not in a hurry to cut short a day out with my best friend with work starting back up, so I'd rather mail the eyes back to Korea on Monday partially to distract myself.

I expect I will be an anxious mess until Tuesday afternoon when I have orientation. It's supposed to last four hours according to the person who interviewed me. I miss working, and I'm so tired of looking for work, and this feels like a good move but I'm so damned nervous. I don't want to screw it up, and I'd like to do well enough to be offered a more permanent position when the seasonal position is up, but I'm worried because I thought I had worked well for Target and they let me go.

On the positive side, the seasonal position is supposed to end first of August so, in theory if I do things correctly I could start fall classes at college when this ends, even if they decide to keep me, because my hours would be cut after the seasonal period.

I am all nerves. I need to see when I can start wearing shorts seasonally according to dress code, and trim or hem up my jeans since dress code says no distressed bits, and the bottoms of my jeans are ragged. I can wear jeans and a t-shirt, or khakis, or whatever as long as it looks neat.

I need better habits for calming myself. =_=;;