Monday, September 15, 2014

Talk of chest surgery.

This is kind of a delicate thing but I feel the need to put it out there. I have been going over the whats and hows and I pretty much have it figured out for the rest of my transition.

My plan is to do all the paperwork and finish the legal end, and then either try to raise money for chest surgery here in the US or wait until
Steve and I are legally married in the UK and deal with it then.

On the one hand, I would really prefer to be done with it proper before I get married, so I don't feel at all self conscious in wedding photos worried about whether or not my binding is obvious. Also my general health would improve without all that literal weight on my chest, including alleviating back pain.

On the other hand I want to be reasonable and think that we might be able to get it partially covered by the NHS if I wait until we are legally married in the UK. However it could be that we still have to pay for it privately, in which case, why the hell am I waiting? We can't afford it either way, and this is a necessary surgery for medical as well as psychological health.

The things that I'm dealing with are that I am currently not employed. Even if I WERE employed, insurance refuses to cover even a portion of chest surgery, even though there are real medical reasons for it, aside from being transgendered. That, and even if I wait to go to the UK, if NHS won't cover it (even partially) that means that my dear sweet husband has to be willing to pretty much pay for it in it's entirety because I won't be able to work until my citizenship is completely sorted, which could be anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. And while I am sure he would do that for me, I don't think he should HAVE to.

So one of the things that I am considering is using a fundraising site to try to gather enough for chest surgery. There are several surgeons in the Virginia Beach area, and several on this coast, so I could garner enough for the average quote for surgery and a bit for traveling costs and be okay.

The main reason I am even considering this as an option is that, I am having a difficult time finding work, and even while I am working, every cent I have, is immediately going to rent and bills. The money that I managed to set aside previously immediately went to having my wisdom teeth removed, and I have not been in a position to set aside any money since.

So, I want opinions. What are the odds that I could raise enough money via a fundraising site (%100 transparency, everyone will know exactly what they money is going to)? Also, how do I get past that part of me that feels like asking for help is wrong? I mean any help, not just financial. Asking for help makes me feel weak, helpless, and worthless, but there is just no way that I can raise enough on my own.

Based on the quote I got at the last surgeon that I visited, I will need at least $9000, and if I have to travel to a different surgeon (like a specialist) it will be closer to $12000, including traveling costs.

So, if I decide to go with a fundraising for medical reasons site, who should I go with? I know there are a few different options, and the average fee they take is about %8-9 total.

Is it a pipe dream? Do I just have to suck it up and live with binding for the rest of my natural life? Thoughts?

1 comment:

  1. Well, I know nothing about fundraising. I can understand that asking for help is difficult, especially when it comes to affairs that are still loaded with prejudices. But, to me, binding is no durable solution, neither medical nor psychological. So, if you decide to go with fundraising, tell me. I'm willing to help as far as I can.

    ReplyDelete

About Me

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I'm Rory or Rorek in most places. I design, sew, and craft, primarily for my Asian Ball-Jointed Dolls. I also dabble in interior design, but I'm a little out of practice.

I post about the things I enjoy, which are sewing, photographing my dolls, designing new outfits, knitting, which I started in September of 2008, thanks to my Mom, and occasionally drawing, or painting.

I also post about Life Events and how they affect me and those that I love.

Currently I am living in DFW, Texas in the USA and working towards a degree in Theology.