Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Some thoughts.

My sleep continues to be erratic. I woke a little before midnight while it was still technically Monday. I think I slept about 8 hours, but I was up for a full 24 prior to that. I keep having long weird erratic days and short naps or really long periods of sleep. It's frustrating.

I can't remember the last time I actually left the apartment. I think I went to the store once last week maybe. My life has been AWAKE, job applications, fidget, mania, sleep, insomnia, repeat. I eat when Osaka reminds me to.

It seems like the Lithium messed up the way that I experience hunger (this happened in my teens when they had me on Paxil and Depakote), in a long term way. It took about a decade to discern discomfort of hunger from general abdominal discomfort the first time. I wonder how long it will take this time. It doesn't help that I don't realize I'm hungry and get a legitimate stomach ache before it occurs to me to try and eat.

I feel tired, and angry, and it has to do with fatigue and very little else.

Yesterday I was hoping to hold out until the evening and go with Ringo and Osaka for cheap burger night at Finns, but at about 1, maybe 2, I reached a place that even if I couldn't sleep, I needed to remove myself. I was being cross, and unpleasant, and that's not fair to anyone who has to interact with me.

I asked Osaka to try and wake me when she and Ringo returned from his dentist appointment, and she did try, but I give any kind of response. She said the only way she was sure I wasn't dead was that I was snoring.

I think I need to be tested for sleep apnea when I am working again and theoretically have health insurance again. I've been debating it for probably a year and even with my losing weight, my sleep hasn't improved.

I've been reading quite a bit lately. Mostly stuff published online, but I'm almost ready to pick up the Harry Potter series and re-read it. It's been a long time since I've read a paper book. Holding books hurts my wrists. I have a Nook Color but I've hardly touched it since I got it. I got it after we got Pherret one for Christmas several years back, and I had so much fun getting his set up.

I have pondered selling mine. I don't use it, but I think an e-reader would be easier on my hands and wrists than books are. Part of the problem is that my preferred reading posture is draped over furniture like a cat. I do the same thing with my DS. It wasn't an issue when I had a room all to myself and could squirm all over my floor or bed, but it's kind of an issue sharing space.

I'm so tired. Not sleepy. Tired.

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About Me

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I'm Rory or Rorek in most places. I design, sew, and craft, primarily for my Asian Ball-Jointed Dolls. I also dabble in interior design, but I'm a little out of practice.

I post about the things I enjoy, which are sewing, photographing my dolls, designing new outfits, knitting, which I started in September of 2008, thanks to my Mom, and occasionally drawing, or painting.

I also post about Life Events and how they affect me and those that I love.

Currently I am living in DFW, Texas in the USA and working towards a degree in Theology.