Saturday, July 21, 2012

Some interesting things. (I think)

I've been meaning to write a post better documenting all the changes and experiences I've had, but I never seem to have the focus or energy.

It should be noted that I pass about 90% of the time. I'm on the short side, and my voice isn't like super-crazy-deep. What confuses me is that I tend to read as straight male most of the time.

I consistently get women twirling their hair, playing with their lips, and other flirty cues when I'm in the buy shop and they're trying to get a better deal. Then there's the confusing aspect of lesbians hitting on me. No idea what's going on with that. I'm rocking a full beard, and they aren't using female pronouns when they talk to me, or say something to a co-worker, so I don't know if they're picking up that I'm gay, or it's a crossed wire or what.

There is also a customer who I've helped many times over the 10 months I've worked at cash converters, who will use female pronouns then correct herself saying "I don't know why I do that EVERY time, I'm sorry."

There was also a presumptuous and pushy woman who came in to sell her (ex?)boyfriend's videogames. She felt that no one should play video games, if they are older than like 5, and then said something along the lines of "but of course you're too smart to be preoccupied with something as silly as videogames, and I'd bet you don't ignore your girlfriend for xbox." And I responded "Well I don't have a girlfriend, and actually I still love videogames, have all my original systems and games and play them regularly." And she kind of stared for a minute, then rolled her eyes and left.

And then today I was getting to know a new co-worker, and mentioned that I had been a military dependant, and the new guy asked what my wife had done in the Navy. Without making a huge deal of it, I said "He was a fire controlman actually, my exhusband."

And then in complete contrast to that, we have one of the rudest most offensive customers I've ever had. He was mad that he had to wait in line for one. I was in the buyshop, had about 8 people waiting, was the only person on that side, as is usual with how undermanned we are, and he tried to jump line as soon as he walked in, asking me to quote a price on a mac. I told him I'd have to see it(cause he didn't bother to bring it in with him), and that there was a line. He got angry and asked if there was anyone else. I told him, "Nope, just me. :]" So he goes and gets it, and some xbox games, and waits. I finally get to him, quote a price, that he didn't like, and start to look at the condition of the games.

The process for that is, open the case, flip the disc, assess the scratches, close the case. I do that for each game/movie/etc that I buy. So I go through, check discs, put the ones I can take in one stack, and the others in the box he brought them in. He snaps after about 5 discs and says "FORGET IT!" and I ask "I'm sorry? Forget about the games?" and he snaps "GET OUT OF MY F*****G FACE"

And I blink, "Uh, you can't talk to me like that." He says he can talk however he wants. "Then you can take your things and leave". So he then calls me a queer looking queer-ass f****t. And I repeat "You can't talk like that in here." I do have other customers in the store, one of whom has a toddler with them. So he shouts more offensive language on the way out, slamming into the door as hard as he can and flipping me off on the way out.

So I peg some people as gay, apparently, but overall people seem to read me as a straight man. Like the guys what bought me shots on my birthday (that I barely remember). They were highfiving me for hanging out with the hot chicks(my co-workers).

I don't think I LOOK particularly gay, but you tell me!

That said I will now mention some of the noticeable changes from the last two years.

I've grown two inches in height. Which incidentally is NOT a common side effect, and by all rights shouldn't have happened. It's not "supposed" to be possible for someone who is 29 years old to grow. Theoretically my growth plates should have closed. I know one other person with my condition who has also grown as a direct result of testosterone treatment. I was told it does NOT happen, NOT to expect it, and in fact that it was impossible. My doctors are baffled (and a bit jealous, as they're both short men), but have promised to make inquiries.

My weight is 240, about 10 pounds lighter than I was two years ago, but I've gone down 4 inches in the waist, and 2 sizes in shirts. I'm significantly smaller in size, but taller and more proportional. My hands have grown. I've gone up 2 ring sizes. My feet have not grown that I have noticed, but they've always been tiny. In regards to weight I was told that ALL FTM put on weight, and that I needed to lose it before on was on testosterone too long or it would be about impossible. However all of the weight I've lost, has happened later into my treatment.

I've also noticed that both my legs and arms have slimmed down quite a bit, in that they aren't much bigger than Osaka's or Ringos. I'm still kind of chunky, but most of it is in my torso now. And I've noticed that my chest is actually getting smaller. Proportionally it's about the same as it was, but if I were still wearing a bra, I think I'd be about an E now, rather than a JJ.

I still have a ways to go, to get to where I want to be, both in weight and shape, but I think I'll be reasonably happy with my body if I can get down to 200 or thereabouts, pre-chest surgery. Then I should be done, and can focus on all the mundane things in my life.

1 comment:

  1. 1. I really like this post/ your blog about transitioning. I don't know very much about trans- people. It answers some questions that I know would be too rude to ask.
    2. That last customer was terrible! I hope you reported him.
    3. I don't know if that was a hypothetical question, but I don't think you look stereotypically gay. The combination of your thick arms and tank top in that picture make you look macho. imo
    Have a great day.


About Me

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I'm Rory or Rorek in most places. I design, sew, and craft, primarily for my Asian Ball-Jointed Dolls. I also dabble in interior design, but I'm a little out of practice.

I post about the things I enjoy, which are sewing, photographing my dolls, designing new outfits, knitting, which I started in September of 2008, thanks to my Mom, and occasionally drawing, or painting.

I also post about Life Events and how they affect me and those that I love.

Currently I am living in DFW, Texas in the USA and working towards a degree in Theology.