Ten days of whatever. Day Two.

I've felt sick all day. I've been fighting a headache, light sensitivity, nausea, and actually got sick an hour or two ago. No idea what triggered it. It definitely colored my answers for today's portion of the meme.

Day Two: (Nine things about yourself)

1. I have very sensitive hearing, but have a hard time translating speech. I tend to read lips to make sure I'm translating what I hear correctly.

2. I come across as cocky and vain sometimes, (probably alot of the time) but I'm really pretty sensitive, and nervous. I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder.

3. I have a sensitive stomach. When I stress, it generally manifests as nausea, or abdominal discomfort in general.

4. I didn't have a real interest in dating or anything associated with dating until I was about 16 1/2. I had a boyfriend or two but it never really meant much.

5. It took me most of my life to realise the most obvious thing about me was real, and not imagined. It took me another 6 years or so to do anything about it.

6. I'm terrified of abandonment. It's my biggest fear, and I get nervous anytime someone is late or doesn't show up and is unable to tell me. The fear tends to escalate starting from a half hour before the appointed time.

7. I suffer from migraines. It's inconsistent, and I don't really know what triggers them, or how to prevent them.

8. I tend to re-phrase the same thing when I'm trying to explain my thoughts. I don't feel understood most of the time, and I struggle to make things as clear as I can, to overcome my own problems with communication. I worry that my being repetative makes me annoying.

9. I pretty much worry 90% of the time. The other 10% I actually feel confident and sure.

Ten days of whatever.

Doing this to get back into posting frequently. :]

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

Day One:

1. We don't talk all the time, but you are always there, supportive and sweet, whenever I do need you, and I'm always happy to be the same for you. You're awesome personified.

2. I know you're going through something rough, that I really can't identify with, and I wish I knew what I could do to be of help. I love you dearly, and I want to help, and I feel a bit foolish for not having experienced anything similar enough to quite understand what you might be feeling.

3. I miss you. I wish you were here right now. I feel lost without you here with me. I shouldn't depend on you so heavily, and I feel guilty as hell about it.

4. I frequently wish you and I lived close again. I forget how awesome we are together until we do hang out, and then it's never for long enough. Stay awesome, and I will too, and next time we are together we'll blow everyones' minds.

5. I kind of wonder how much I can trust you, but I tentatively am pursuing a friendship. Please don't burn me because I've shared secrets and I don't know you that well yet.

6. I wish that you still worked with me. I don't really see us hanging out much anymore, because our interests don't overlap much, and that makes me a bit sad. You're smart, talented, and most of the time, very pleasant to spend time with.

7. I have mixed feelings about you. I don't believe the gossip, but I do wonder what exactly you did that warranted being walked out by security in the middle of the week. I want to ask you, but I really don't want to rub salt in the wound. You pissed alot of people off, but you were never really awful to me.

8. I wish we could hang out. I think you're probably a really awesome person, but I know I'm not allowed to get to know you like that. I wonder about you.

9. I will never ever forgive you. No passing of time will ever lessen my anger. You are unforgivable. I don't wish you fatal harm, but I would be hard-pressed not to repeatedly hit you if given the opportunity.

10. I wish you could admit to yourself that you are wrong. Ever. I love you, you're a great friend. However, you need to be able to admit that you can sometimes be wrong, if you're ever going to get your life together. No one is right all the time. Not me, not you, not anyone.

White Christmas!

So, I had my first ever white Christmas this year. :] It was kind of cool. Osaka, Pherret, and Ringo are out of state visiting their families for the holidays, so it's just me, and one of their dogs, Sadie. Christmas Eve was kind of lonely, but Christmas day was really great. I spent it with one of my co-workers Sam, whom I go to the bar with on a somewhat regular occasion. She invited me over a week ago, and I'm glad for it. She had lots of friends over, all of whom I had met on previous occasions at the bar, or at her place, so I felt very comfortable.

Then it snowed. Quite a bit actually. In our apartment complex we had over a foot on the ground. I took photos. None with the dolls, but still:





For southern Virginia, a foot of snow is pretty much unheard of. I worked Sunday the 26th (yesterday), and we actually closed early because of the blizzard conditions, which Home Depot doesn't generally do.

Today the buses weren't running because of how bad the roads still were, so I had to call in cause it's about a 2 1/2 - 3 mile walk to work. A co-worker gave me a ride later in the day, thank goodness, so I was able to salvage some of my shift. As of this evening the buses are running again, at least for most of the routes. The ones I take to work, are up again, so I'm set.

Snow in the (technical) south is always an adventure. At least it's less ridiculous to shut down over snow here, cause.. it was like a foot of snow in an 18 hour period, roughly. It always boggled my mind when a half inch of snow shut down everything in North Texas. Ah well. C'est la vie.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

Hmmn, I think I need to update my icons for LJ. I don't have many, and most of them are outdated. e_e;;

I've fallen hard for Iplehouse dolls. I have plans for several but just haven't succumbed.. until now. I ordered their new tiny, Byuri, in real skin. He's beautiful. He'll be my first Iplehouse doll, and my first tan doll. I've ordered him with makeup and this outfit (everything but the shoes, including that wig):


He should look almost exactly as in the above picture, but I'm giving him pale grey eyes instead.

And I've also ordered this hat, because it is precious, and I love it.


I'm doing it as a short layaway. I placed the order and sent half the payment today, and I'll finish paying him off on January 7th when I get paid again.

He's pretty much my Christmas present to myself. I was really nervous about ordering because I haven't ordered from Iplehouse before, but I get nervous like that every time I buy a doll. I've heard nothing but love from my friends and family who have Iplehouse dolls, and I WANT MORE.

I fully intend to order an SID Storm at some point in 2011, probably in mid-late summer, to be Marek, Robbie's partner. And I do want a JID Ryan eventually, in real skin.

I really love Iplehouse, and the realistic sculpts they make. I know Byuri may look a little strange next to my more stylized sculpts, but I'm excited none-the-less.

Currently he's nameless, but I'm considering naming him Ezekial (Zeke for short), or Samson. Nothing is set but I want him to have a very grown up sort of name, which is kind of a theme for me I guess.

Doll news aside, there isn't a ton going on. Osaka, Pherret, and Ringo have gone home to Tennessee and Kentucky to spend Christmas with their families. I've stayed here, with one of the dogs, since I didn't ask off for Christmas. Maybe I will next year.

It's going to be a quiet Christmas I think. I'll call my family when they're all together, and chat a bit, and then I'll spend the day with a co-worker who's invited me over for Christmas day. It should be nice. :]

My creative juices are flowing! ..despite the persistent fever.

Okay, I'm right at 17 weeks on Testosterone, I think, going on my last entry, which puts me at 4 months or so.

I've failed to keep a great account of week to week, since I lost my internet access awhile back. That won't be a problem now, though, cause we have internet! Like, actual internet, not a pirated signal.

Osaka set it up earlier in the week and the service kicked in today. :] I'm beyond thrilled. It will probably take me several weeks to get back into the swing of being social online.

My anxiety has been alot better. I still can get antsy around the time of my shot (and did this week) but not anywhere near as frequently.

Also I've been fighting a fever + infection for like a week and a half now. The fever waxes and wanes in intensity. My doctor initially thought strep, but that came up negative. I was apprehensive anyway since I know I've been exposed to strep dozens of times but I've never contracted it.

So I went back to my clinic to get the results of the tests, as they also checked my thyroid levels to see if maybe my dosage was too high at this point. My levels are right where they should be with my medicine, and so I got refills on that, and a prescription for azithromycin to clear up whatever infection I'm fighting, since if it was going to go away on its own, it would have by now. Incidentally, the first time in my life, I've EVER taken an antibiotic, to my knowledge.

I'm also knitting again (ABRUPT change of subject is ABRUPT). I've started a sweater for Starshine. :] It's brown with bits of his signature blue striped in it. I'm not working from any particular pattern. I'm kind of inventing as I go, and so far I like what I have.

Oh and I bought myself a sewing machine last month. It is my first sewing machine that is fully functional. I did buy an antique singer some time ago, that is non-functional, with dreams of getting it repaired, and I still have it, because it is pretty and someday I want to get it working again. So, I've been somewhat busy while I've been offline.

I got the Head Cashier position and have been doing very well with that. I get along well with 99% of my co-workers, which is nice. The one person I really have issue with, will be gone in a week anyway, so I'm just thrilled.

I've been playing alot of Guitar Hero, and aside from that, mainly just going to work and back. I've missed the internet, and I'm just SO happy to have it again. :]

I hope everyone is doing well, and if I've missed anything in the last several months please do fill me in.

And, just cause I've not posted photos in a bit: