Facial hair and health talk.

So, I've been waiting for my beard to thicken up enough to shape it into what is easily recognizable as a beard and I think I may have just reached that point.

It's still wispy as all hell, but with my recently increased dose the hair is beginning to really thicken up and grow in on my face. The acne has returned (but not with a vengeance) but I'm far less concerned with that, annoying as it is, as I am with the beard.

This was me, sometime in the last week:


Not a great indicator. This is me from maybe 2 weeks ago, where you can see how thick it is on my neck, which makes it look much fuller:


These are from tonight after I shaved off the majority of the thick dark hair on my neck. It was looking less like beard and more like LAZY, and so I've been thinking on and off what look I can actually pull off with my growth pattern. This is what I've ended up with:



Edit* Better Light:


It doesn't look like much in the dark, but I look much better put together. I think it will look far more professional at work too, which should help my confidence.

I've also been trying to cut soda out entirely, beginning with not drinking it at work. I'm trying to avoid junk food or fast food at work too. I had been losing weight for awhile but I noticed that I've gained back most of what I'd lost, sometime in the last two months. I'm not okay with that, so I'm making some permanent diet choices (NO SODA) and easing up on the snack-food, controlled portions, more protein. Next step is to start doing easy home exercise and then working out at the gym.

I want to move this weight but when I get to a certain comfortable point I tend to indulge myself, wrecking my progress. So I'm trying again. As uncomfortable as I am with my chest, I can't do anything about it while I'm still so far from my ideal weight. I'd like to get down to between 160 and 180, (so I'm shooting for a maintained weight of 170) which I think is reasonable and very possible. I weighed about 160 in highschool and I was mostly muscle then. I doubt I'll ever be that SMALL but I can aim for that weight ideally.

Also, I probably shouldn't have had those two 6 hour energy shots today(one at 9am, one at 5pm). I'm still VERY awake at half past midnight and need to be up in about 6 hours for a doubleshift. Oh well.

Hewitt has a name! And, 30 Day BJD Meme: Day 9

Well, Hewitt has a name; Kodiak Storm, but I'm calling him "Bear". He's also developed quite a backstory, which is always nice, even if it takes place in Alaska which I know next to nothing about.

I've also ordered him a pair of TTYA jeans, these ones, after getting confirmation that they should fit him well. I threw in this outfit, for one of the babies, since I really like it, and if I'm paying EMS shipping I'd prefer not to do it for a single item. I loved the TTYA jeans I got for Christopher Owen so much, the quality is AMAZING, that eventually I'd like to get TTYA jeans for all my dolls.

Not a whole lot going on for me aside from working. My hours are still very long, stress is erratic, but I've got Osaka, Ringo, and the dogs for comfort and sanity. I've also been chatting with Steve weekly which has been quite pleasant. :]

And just to fluff this out, here's the next 30 days of BJD Meme entry. I will get all the way through it eventually. e_e;;

9) What is your least favorite size?

Hmmmmn That's a hard question. Honestly I'd say Puki or smaller. I love Reji of course, but they're just too small for me to really want to play with.

The Minies are still the most appealing in terms of the satisfying weight in my hands, the scale, compared to the dolls I grew up with (predominantly Barbies/G.I.Joes) etc.

I'm also not a fan of the HUGE 70-80cm range. That's just way too much doll for me. I love the EID but I'd be more comfortable with an SID I think.

So, the least favorites I'd say, are the polar opposites in sizes.

10) Post a picture of a doll and an animal!
11) How long have you collected dolls? Did you collect dolls before BJDs?*
12) What do your friends think of your dolls/dolls in general?
13) Dollie shoes! Show us how many you have!
14) Have you ever had a floating head? What about a headless body? (What do you think you would do if you had either?)
15) What does your family think of your dolls?
16) Can any of your crew stand on their heads? (Show us~)
17) What is your favorite item of dollie clothing?
18) Do you have a favorite company?
19) A least favorite company?
20) What is your dream doll?
21) One doll you love, but will never (probably) buy?
22) What’s your favorite doll scale prop?
23) Is there a part of the BJD hobby that you dislike?
24) What about your favorite part of the hobby?
25) Have you ever modded a doll? (Do you think that you would?)
26) Done your own faceups? (Again, do you think you’d do that?)
27) Do you have a favorite out of your own dolls? (Don’t worry, we won’t tell the others ;D)
28) Post a crazy/silly pose!
29) Post a picture of your dolls exploring the outside world!
30) Have you ever been to a doll meetup? Did you enjoy it/do you plan to go to one in the future?

HOLY GRAIL DOLL!! (Hewitt)

After an extended layaway and a frustrating time with USPS, I have in my hot little hands, my DREAM DOLL. This is the Be All End All of dolls for me. There are still plenty I like, but this is the one I never ever thought I'd get.

That said, I am pleased to introduce, my as of yet un-named Hewitt.

Clothing! I did make a shirt for his arrival (the one he's wearing) but I'm quite pleased at bonus clothes, cause I won't have time to properly sew for him anytime soon. <3


It was at this point I got overly excited and tore off all the bubblewrap and stuff before I remembered to take a photo.


And this is with his wig, clothed, and the 14mm goldenrod eyes I had ready. I didn't realize he had his beautiful default citrine eyes until I opened the box, but they look a little too soft on that mature Super Dollfie Cute body, with that mature faceup.



With Wotan's lovely SDC Kaede. I think he was flirting but it's hard to say.




And with Reji Dragonborn! Reji still needs his overcloak for his Archmage outfit.

I am so excited to have him. He's just beautiful and I never dreamed I'd actually get my Hewitt, let alone on that gorgeous SDC boy body. <3

30 Day BJD Meme: Day 8

Wow, did I really just quit this only seven days in? Booo. Bad Rorek. And I also apologize that so many of my recent posts have been whining. Back on track!

8) What is your favorite size?

I'd have to say that my favorite size is definitely Yo-sized. Which is anything in the 26-30cm range, depending on the company. Currently, I think my collection is split close to 50/50 between MSD and Yo-SD sized dolls.

Er no, I have 9 Yo-sized dolls, versus 6 minis, if I've counted correctly, with plans for more of both sizes, and more SD (and larger) as well.

It should be noted though, that I resisted the teenies for several years until Volks Kuuta was released. I felt they were too small for me, and I LOVE the scale of the minies. :] And, playing with Apollo has rekindled my love of MSD, so it's really a very close call between whether MSD or Yo-SD is my favorite size.

9) What is your least favorite size?
10) Post a picture of a doll and an animal!
11) How long have you collected dolls? Did you collect dolls before BJDs?*
12) What do your friends think of your dolls/dolls in general?
13) Dollie shoes! Show us how many you have!
14) Have you ever had a floating head? What about a headless body? (What do you think you would do if you had either?)
15) What does your family think of your dolls?
16) Can any of your crew stand on their heads? (Show us~)
17) What is your favorite item of dollie clothing?
18) Do you have a favorite company?
19) A least favorite company?
20) What is your dream doll?
21) One doll you love, but will never (probably) buy?
22) What’s your favorite doll scale prop?
23) Is there a part of the BJD hobby that you dislike?
24) What about your favorite part of the hobby?
25) Have you ever modded a doll? (Do you think that you would?)
26) Done your own faceups? (Again, do you think you’d do that?)
27) Do you have a favorite out of your own dolls? (Don’t worry, we won’t tell the others ;D)
28) Post a crazy/silly pose!
29) Post a picture of your dolls exploring the outside world!
30) Have you ever been to a doll meetup? Did you enjoy it/do you plan to go to one in the future?

Migraines are no fun.

So.. I had an unfortunate experience yesterday (Monday into Tuesday). Sunday night I took a booster shot to prepare for my higher dose of T, so that my baseline wouldn't spike so badly, and it would be a theoretically easier transition to my higher dose.

What I got instead was hands down the WORSE migraine I have ever experienced. It started early Monday, when I woke up after a full night's sleep, feeling as though I had not slept at all, and looking it. By description, I was pale with dark circles around my eyes. I felt exhausted but had some breakfast and played Skyrim for an hour or two before heading into work.

Upon arriving, the first thing Michele, my manager asked me, was "Are you feeling okay? You're really pale." I explained that I hadn't slept well, but aside from that I felt fine. Then over the next hour I began to feel nauseous, and about 2pm (an hour after I began my shift) I was dizzy, INCREDIBLY nauseous, and was doubled over in pain from head to toe. I had a splitting headache that hurt mostly behind my eyes, but more intense than I've ever experienced before, which is saying alot since I have a history of migraines. I also had intense light, smell, and sound sensitivity, and couldn't stand at all, because when I tried, I couldn't keep my balance.

So I ended up leaving work early, frustrated, and miserable, and came home and went straight to bed. Osaka helped me get up into bed, and I curled up into a tight ball until I fell asleep.

I woke around midnight, had some cheese and crackers since my nausea had settled a little bit, and crawled back into bed. When I woke up this morning, I still had intense light and sound sensitivity, and an unsettled stomach.

After discussing with Osaka, I went to my doctor, and we determined that Osaka's instinct was correct. The migraine was most likely caused by the spike in testosterone. So, rather than my dose doubling as it was going to, I will be stair stepping it up, SLOWLY, and I've been given a prescription of something with caffeine, tylenol, and codein in it (I can't remember the actual name) to help in case this happens again after my shots.

I have experienced mood swings and occasionally a spike in temperature following my shots, but never a migraine of this degree. Usually I just feel a irritable about a day and a half after the shot, sometimes with a downswing of depression and/or anxiety, and then I swing back up. These are all possible side effects with taking testosterone.

Funnily enough, Dr Fusco had been reading an article on testosterone treatment this morning just before I saw him, and saw the first listed side effect was headaches. He felt badly about it and, because I had just seen him a few days ago, he didn't charge me for today's visit. We discussed my options, and have agreed that I am to call him (or at least the office) after my next shot and let them know about any changes in reaction.

I am fine now, but I do not envy anyone who suffers migraines as severe as the one I had yesterday, and I pray never to have one like that again. Migraines suck anyway, but usually they don't completely cripple me like yesterday.

MSD Converse shoes?

Can anyone point me towards a pair of converse style shoes for MSD? I'd prefer black, red, or grey, but really I'm open. They've been around in different forms, from the tall knee-highs, to the ankle versions, and I'd prefer to purchase a pair second hand if at all possible, so I'm not paying $30 in shipping for an $8 pair of shoes. Help?

My knee is jacked up, but I have a Puki!

So, I don't frequently talk about my weak ankles, as far as I can recall. It's just one of those things. I fall. I fall without warning. When this happens, I hope I can catch myself and do not injure myself.

I fell yesterday morning. I was on my way to work, just got off the bus, and was about three steps into the crosswalk. And then I was on the crosswalk, flat, with my hands scraped up and my left knee screaming, and a sense of rage.

Yesterday was my 6th scheduled day in a row, most shifts being just about from Open to Close (10am-9pm or thereabouts, no breaks). I was both emotionally and physically fatigued. I felt a downward swing of anxiety and depression from Monday night on, and physically I'm just DONE.

I obviously made it across the street, and I was crossing at the appropriate place, with right of way, so there was less risk of actually being hit by a car. But, my first reaction was RAGE. I was furious that my (right) ankle had the nerve to fall out from under me while I was in the street, right before my shift for work. I keep my ankle brace in my backpack, which I take to work, so I wrapped it and went on.

when I came home and assessed my injuries, I have mild road rash on my hands, severe bruising on my left knee (soft tissue and bone), and minor bruising on my right knee. The knee that took the brunt of it, is my left, and the one that I fell on when I fell down the stairs last year. My ankles need to quit this crap. It happens most when I'm fatigued (emotionally as well as physically) and lack the fine muscle control.

And on that note, I change the subject!

I have my first Pukipuki, thanks to a trade with a friend. My Skyrim character Reji Dragonborn now has a physical form. :B He's not an exact screen-to-doll copy, or even close, since he's not a Pukisha. Reji is a Cupid2 event head, I think.

I play a Khajit whom I named Reji Dragonborn. Cause I'm a nerd, and it cracks me up when people at the beginning are all "Woah! You're the Dragonborn!" and I insert the dialog "Well, yeah I mean, it is my last name. Meow meow." Because He's a cat. And so he ends all sentences with "Meow meow".

Anyway you're not here to read about me being a Skyrim nerd. You're here for Reji! I did his faceup, except for his little pink tongue, which Osaka was kind enough to paint and gloss for me. It's not a fancy job, but it makes me happy.

This was the only shot I could get where his face was at all in focus. Hopefully better pics will be forthcoming.


I'm planning to give him a fuzzy mohawk, and make him the Dark Brotherhood outfit, and probably some mage robes. I also want to get him the little puki sword hands, and paint up that sword like his daedric sword. :B

I don't have screenshots for you, cause I'm playing on xbox360. So.. just picture a kind of muscular Khajit in greys and browns, with a derpy expression.

Information Meme

The problem with internet: we all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other. So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Ask away.

Then post this in your LJ/blog/etc and find out what people don't know about you.

And for what it's worth I do plan to continue the doll meme, but it might take another few days to get back on that.

Flying home for Mom's wedding. :]

In twelve hours or less I will be on the ground in Dallas. Mom's wedding is Saturday morning. I have a new shirt, sweater and tie, and I hope I don't look like a hobo in my sneakers, but I have no dress shoes. They are at least mostly black so they don't stand out too much against my black pants (I hope).

I am not taking any dolls, but I am taking my laptop with plenty of DVDs and media to watch. I will also have my camera, phone, DS, and MP3 player to keep my occupied. I'm staying with my youngest sister Moose, who does not have internet at her place so I will not be online at all unless I visit Faythe, or Jenni, or Bonnie.

I'm excited and happy for Mom, a bit anxious about flying, and feeling neutral about the rest of it. I will be arriving in DFW about 11:30am, and leaving again on the 17th, in the wee hours.

I will have my phone so if you need to get ahold of me, that shouldn't be a problem. It will be off/muted/etc for the wedding and any other private family stuff, but aside from that I'm free.

I hope everyone has an awesome week. :]

30 Day BJD Meme: Day 7

Day 7: Smallest size you own? (Have held/seen/like)

The smallest size I own is Yo-SD or the 26cm range. The smallest I've held, is a Pukipuki. And the size I like best in the smaller range, is the Yo-SD/26cm range. They're just so darned versatile, portable, and posable compared to some of the larger dolls.

I do also have three dolls that are technically in the tiny range according to Den of Angels, but I consider them small minis. I've got a Narsha girl, and two Custom House Little Junior boys.

7) Smallest size you own? (Have held/seen/like)
8) What is your favorite size?
9) What is your least favorite size?
10) Post a picture of a doll and an animal!
11) How long have you collected dolls? Did you collect dolls before BJDs?*
12) What do your friends think of your dolls/dolls in general?
13) Dollie shoes! Show us how many you have!
14) Have you ever had a floating head? What about a headless body? (What do you think you would do if you had either?)
15) What does your family think of your dolls?
16) Can any of your crew stand on their heads? (Show us~)
17) What is your favorite item of dollie clothing?
18) Do you have a favorite company?
19) A least favorite company?
20) What is your dream doll?
21) One doll you love, but will never (probably) buy?
22) What’s your favorite doll scale prop?
23) Is there a part of the BJD hobby that you dislike?
24) What about your favorite part of the hobby?
25) Have you ever modded a doll? (Do you think that you would?)
26) Done your own faceups? (Again, do you think you’d do that?)
27) Do you have a favorite out of your own dolls? (Don’t worry, we won’t tell the others ;D)
28) Post a crazy/silly pose!
29) Post a picture of your dolls exploring the outside world!
30) Have you ever been to a doll meetup? Did you enjoy it/do you plan to go to one in the future?