I need to update my userpics and icons.

There was a hiccup in the week's schedule and I ended up with today off, without having asked for it. This means I have to go in Saturday, as I've already burnt through my PTO for the year. We get 40 hours, so it's a full week, but you HAVE to use it in 8 hour chunks, so it goes fast.

I had a delivery I was expecting today anyway, my Zelda themed 3DS XL. I wasn't sure if I was going to have to sign for it or not. It turns out NOT because I fell asleep on the sofa some time after 1pm, and woke up when Ringo about dropped the box on my face, with a chirpy helpful "I dunno what it is, but it has your name on it! 8D". That was about 4:30 when the bus drops him off.

After sorting myself out and waking up, I opened it, and it was my 3DS which I set to charging and downloading/installing the Link Between Worlds game that is part of the bundle. I still need to associate it with my Nintendo ID but I can't remember the password I chose and I don't want to screw it up on my red 3DS XL where the password is saved, so I decided I'd figure it out later. This does give me a DS that is not FULL of Ravelry (knitting forum) people from when I was playing Animal Crossing New Leaf (August to Halloween).

I also ordered new game cases yesterday? The ones I have don't accommodate 3ds game cartridges so I have those in my zip up carrying case, in a small plastic bag, which is less protection than I like for my games.

I'm really annoyed about working Saturday because I actually had plans, KNOWING that I had both days of the weekend off. This morning I was dressed for work and texted my ride only to find out that the store manager who has been in and out for medical reasons, has temporarily misplaced his keys, and was trying to get one or the other of the assistant managers to come let him into the store. At about an hour into what should have been my shift I texted him back saying that I would stay home today and work Saturday. I was pissed but between leaving work early yesterday (NECESSARY YES, not the point) and coming in late, I would have been WAY under hours and forced to work Saturday anyway if I want to pay my bills.

So after I texted and got the affirmative "K" (different rant, different time), I walked to the grocery store and picked up some necessary items for the apartment. I got something nibbly, either for lunch or dinner, and something substantial to be the other meal, and something for Ringo for his dinner, since Osaka asked me nicely to do that for her today.

I don't know if I'm aggravated because I stopped the new med (like withdrawal?) or if I'm just aggravated.

I did have a pleasant surprise in the evening. I'd been noodling around learning the map on the new Zelda game, and my phone rang, and it was my Mom. I think she said right away that nothing was wrong, and that she just wanted to talk to me, or check on me. Something in that vein, friendly, loving. I gathered she'd read my recent entries here, and I rambled on a bit. Several times I think. It's really hard to focus, when I try to focus it feels like tightening your hands around a wet noodle. It's slippery and moving, and the more you try to grip it, the more it wiggles out of your hands. Mom was really gracious, but I think she tends towards that. I don't remember much of her as a kid, because I don't remember very well in general, and Mom spent much of that time busy. Busy with Church, or crafts, and sometimes willing to interact, but always busy.

We talked about Church a bit, and I tried to articulate why I am not an active member of the LDS church but I think I failed badly, and may have been offensive. That was not my intent at all. We also talked about Mert, and how I bonded with my step-brother Logan when I went to Texas to be with Mom right after he(Mert) passed. I was expressing missing that quiet time with her, even that quiet time in an unfamiliar but safe-feeling place that I had while she was at work, and I was.. watching old TV shows, and skyping with Steve, and plotting doll purchases. I think I went manic like right at the end of that trip, because I remember which dolls I was looking at second hand on Den of Angels, and they are the ones that I ended up purchasing.

I keep thinking I have just enough Tax return that I could get another tiny, but.. I don't want to. I mean I'd LIKE to, but I don't have time to play with the ones I have, and mental health takes priority, physical health as well. All of my free time goes to commuting from one doctor to another. It's exhausting. I am so thankful that I have good health insurance. I'm so terrified that my struggle to get my bi-polar episodes evened out is going to cost me my job, my friends, my home.

I know that I am doing the right thing by having a set day that I go to the Dr (Wednesday!), and once we get my meds sorted that it will just be a maintenance thing, not a twice a month or more thing. I look forward to having my weekends back. And maybe even my creative passion. I want to want to sew, knit, draw, paint, any of it. I play video games but I DO enjoy creative pursuits. Or at least I used to. Where is the button to turn that back on?