More of the same.

So I had to leave work rather early today. A new medicine that I have been on about a week has a NASTY side effect, a couple of them actually, that made it dangerous for me to work. I generally take my meds without food before I leave for work, and then immediately hit up Kroger once I get to work, for some food, and a caffeinated beverage. I've also had to stock up on energy shots for the last week because my first dose of the day makes me violently ill if I don't eat fast enough, or violently ill despite eating, and then makes me vertigo-dizzy, and have this rapid passing out waking up cycle, which is upsetting, not okay for a work environment, and DANGEROUS with scissors or a box cutter in your hand.

So I spoke with my manager J, who had given me a lift into work, explaining that I was having the same symptoms as yesterday but more severe. I saw my reflection. I looked ill. I could barely recognize or even see myself, as my eyes kept trying to roll back in my head as I stood in the bathroom trying to wash my hands.

After a short discussion, I carefully processed the days orders and clocked out. J drove me home, bless him. I was concerned about waiting at the bus stop with the erratic passing out.

Once I got home I immediately called my Psychiatrist's office and requested to speak with him. I was told he was in a session and I could be routed to his voicemail. I protested, that I would wait, they could put me on hold, explaining that I had tried to reach this doctor a week ago at his request, and had been completely unable to leave even a message for him, despite 15 attempts. I requested that if she was unwilling or unable to place me on hold, could she please write a note and pass it to him, regarding my latest medication and my concerns with serious side effects. I also clearly asked if it was *SAFE* to discontinue this medicine. The now cranky receptionist took down my name and phone number, and some portion of the message, and promptly hung up on me, before I could even thank her. I know she doesn't make the system, and I understand that they must be trained to be cautious of "demands" of psychiatric patients, but I was still a bit put off.

I was speaking with Faythe via skype (no video, need to fix that) while on the call and she was as confused and aggravated by the receptionist's attitude as I was.

I did receive a call, FOUR HOURS LATER, by someone other than my Doctor asking what my concerns via the medicine were. I repeated my symptoms, clearly and politely said that I would prefer to discuss DIRECTLY with my Dr, and answered her questions before I was politely hung up on. I don't understand how it can be so hard to say "Thank you and goodbye" or something to that effect. Truly this bothers me.

Finally, two and a half hours later, I received a call from Dr T, who had gotten a VERY garbled version of my message. He was his usual casual but polite self, and told me to stop taking the new medicine immediately. He then went over his notes to try and find a secondary medicine that I haven't tried yet. He mentioned one, then decided on a different one, saying it was like a Lamborghini, you have to try it to see if you like it. He has such a way with words sometimes. I'm really going to miss having him as my Psychiatrist.

He stressed that if I stop sleeping, I need to come in sooner than my next appointment which is next Wednesday. I told him that I would. And then he told me he had to go because he was hungry. I laughed and told him "Then go eat!".

I'm still manic, and have been, but the Lithium seems to help me to make responsible choices, so I'm not lost. I have splurged a bit with my tax return since I won't be using it for surgery, but I've thought each purchase through, thoroughly to see if it's something I will actually use and enjoy, and there have been a number of things I decided against, because they were impulse buys and I don't need them. That is HUGE for me, especially while manic.

I've purchased some Lego sets on clearance at %50 off or better at the Kroger next to work. I've purchased a Littlefee boy body for Innis. I've purchased the special Zelda 3DS XL bundle via Amazon which should arrive tomorrow. There is still some left, and everything else I've spent has been on groceries or lunch at work, reasonably priced.