So.. Pherret.

There's been alot going on, that I just haven't felt up to talking about or going into detail over. Those of you who follow Osaka's journal know that Pherret left about a month and a half ago to find work in Kentucky.

At least that's what he said at the time. There is no work in Kentucky. Nothing he couldn't have found out here, certainly nothing worth his amazing qualifications. He had a blue collar factory job for a week, but quit it, because it was "too hard".

He's never been a man to shy away from hard work, so that stood out a bit in contrast. He's not seeking treatment for his PTSD, and he has spent most of his time, talking his family about his impending divorce. Which of course, he didn't have the decency to actually work out with Osaka.

He came back for a week because there was some stuff he needed to sort out with the Navy, and the leasing office here at our apartment. And while he was here, he was pleasant for about two days, then got sulky and sullen, snappish, like what he'd been before he left for Kentucky.

Then Tuesday night he was rolling all over the floor sighing heavily, twitching, refusing interaction, and getting us really worried. He finally spoke up when Osaka asked "Baby, what is WRONG?". He told her he was leaving her. That they just couldn't work it out. He stressed that he loved her, and that it was over. Over and over he said this. It wasn't a discussion, it was a TANTRUM.

I've been pretty pissed at him anyway for generally asshattery and a completely selfish look in life. He's literally thought of nothing but himself since he came back from Afghanistan. He's made many promises to his son, not to leave again, and then promptly left, repeatedly, for long trips.

We've all tried to be there for him, be supportive, let all the little annoyng grievances go. I'm DONE. I try not to hold grudges, but it's a battle for me, and the more someone threatens my piece of mind, or makes the people I love suffer, the angrier I get.

His irresponsible actions have put my wellbeing at risk. I am currently trying to stretch my meager wage, to pay the bills I already paid, pay for prescriptions, pay for groceries, and also pick up the bills he used to, and it just doesn't stretch that far, at all. The only way I could pay everything is if I was making about $5 dollars more an hour than I do.

My backup plan, if he couldn't find work, and Osaka couldn't find work, was to try and set money aside and go back to Texas, where my family is. Because there's nowhere I could go out here in Virginia, and I just can NOT afford to live on my own. I'd go with Osaka, but she'd be going to Tennessee to her family and there just isn't room for me there.

I don't WANT to move to Texas if I don't have to, and I certainly don't want to leave Osaka and Ringo, who are family to me. And Pherret had the nerve to tell me that I couldn't. That I had to stay and take care of them.

FIRST OF ALL, I would do that if I could. SECOND of all, that's YOUR job, as the husband and father. Third and lastly, there is no way I can afford to move at all now, and I can't afford to stay either, so you've pretty much screwed me coming and going. Thanks dude.

This is a man I used to consider a GOOD friend. He used to be considerate and dependable. He used to be alot of things. He is BROKEN. He refuses help, resents it, refuses treatment. I still want to help him, but right now I mostly want to strangle him.

I am so beyond angry with that man. I really hope he manages to get his life together somehow despite himself.


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And completely unrelated to that, my hands have grown. It's subtle, but they are too big for my tiny laptop keyboard and typing on it ends badly all the time now. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHR.