Introducing Innes

I got a Littlefee Vampire Rolly Faceplate, back on February 16th, to be Innis, my little water dragon boy. Last night I finally gave him a (crappy amateur) faceup, borrowed the body from my Littlefee boy and stuck one of my Funnylori wigs on him. He loves it and tried to tell me his name was Kotaru. I said no.

I did get some photos of him today when we were out for a bit:




Then as I was resizing and looking closely I realized that I had neglected to give him even the slightest eyeliner, and that I wanted to give him a smattering of green freckles across his nose. I'm beginning to have a better idea of the execution I want to do with him. :]

These are the afters, in very poor light. I'm not sure the difference is visible.




I sculpted him some horns out of white pearlescent sculpy, but I think I want to modify them more. :] I might just start over from scratch.

My wisdom teeth were successfully removed today.

The pulling of the wisdom teeth went very smoothly. I was pretty anxious leading up to it, but by the time I was in the chair and being prepped I felt far more calm. They had a bit of trouble finding a vein for the IV, so they ended up putting it in my hand. Usually this is not a problem, but I was dehydrated, from the no water after midnight, and being on Lithium.

They put me on the gas just about as soon as I sat down though, so while it was certainly not comfortable, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I recall the IV going in, and them starting to say to count back from something. I never heard what number I was meant to count back from. Next I knew I was grunting in discomfort as the dentist was re-cementing my crown. I asked, with a mouth full of gauze if he'd gotten all four teeth, and if the crown had been a problem. He said he'd removed the crown before even trying on my right side, because he didn't want to damage it, and that it had actually been the lower right one that gave him a little trouble.

They they walked me to another room where I sat and listened as they gave Katy (my friend and coworker who took me) care instructions.



Then we went to Target and filled my prescriptions. They gave me Percoset and 800mg Ibuprofen as well as an Antibiotic. I'm supposed to start the antibiotic tomorrow. I am tentatively planning to return to work on Thursday, but if I'm feeling well enough Wednesday i may go in after I see Dr T. I'm not sure what to expect at this followup, but now that my teeth are sorted (for now anyway) I can focus on getting my psychological crap treated.

I'm icing every hour or so, and sitting/sleeping upright on the sofa intermittently. I expect the healing to go well at this rate. I still taste blood but the bleeding has slowed significantly since noon, when the procedure was completed. I went through all the gauze they gave me, and ended up walking to the store to get more. I regret walking, but I needed the gauze as I was bleeding enough to be feeling quite ill. '

I also got to talk to Steve today which was nice. Talking is kind of hard. My jaw is wanting to lock and be stiff. It was very nice though, even if I was a bit of a space-case.

I hope you're all doing well!

I'm getting my wisdom teeth out.

Well. The last several weeks have felt insanely hectic. I've juggled doctor and dental and mental appointments and finally got back to normal-ish this week. I think. It's hard to say.

I know I'm early on in the psych meds, but I have noticed side effects. I have a hard time focusing on using the computer. On the other hand I cleaned the bedroom, organized, de-cluttered, and have prepped for a faceup for Innis. I have also been incredibly productive at work. It's a slow time of year but my office is organized and clean. I'm also completely up to date on emails and paperwork, which have suffered in the past.

I feel strange, a little scatterbrained, but many of those little thoughts that go skittering off like grease on a hot griddle, come back to me after a bit. I've had intermittent nausea, and drowsiness, the latter of which I've combated with B12 energy shots.

I'm a bit frantic. I will be having oral surgery on Monday to remove all four wisdom teeth. They came in and out for years and finally fully emerged sometime in my late twenties. They were there when I had my root canal about a year and a half ago. One of them was the tooth that broke early last week. I'm a bit anxious but have been reassured by everyone that it will be fine. I'm a little worried about how I might cope, since I can't even drink water (and can't dry swallow) so I won't be on my meds. The procedure is late enough in the morning I will not take my morning meds, and will take the evening meds to get back on track.

My manager told me to take as long as I need. I plan to go back in on Thursday, but she is expecting me to probably leave early if I do. Fingers crossed I don't need to.

I can't focus anymore so.. I hope you're all doing well.

Happy Birthday Osaka!!

Today has been amazing. It's Osaka's birthday which USUALLY goes terribly. The day started off on a bit of a rough start with Ringo throwing a tantrum about properly brushing his teeth.

Then I left for my appointment with Dr T, and somehow was there an hour and a half early. I had subtracted time from the commute since I was there an hour early last time and I have no idea what happened. I think I might have walked faster. I was pretty anxious. By the time my appointment started (20 minutes late) I was in a full blown panic attack.

Dr T was really nice. He has some other TG patients and is well educated in those issues as well as the bi-polar, depression, anxiety and other factors. I was expected a middle-aged, soft in the middle, soft-spoken man, and instead met a YOUNG tall, good looking, polite and articulate man. He threw me off a few times with some of his questions and comments but in a way that put me at ease.

Dr W was very nice, but I was still pretty nervous and upset when I left, despite his best efforts. I was actually in a pretty good place today after speaking with Dr T.

We addressed my concerns over anti-depressants. He also told me that Xanax was about the worst anxiety med possible for me and to discontinue use immediately. Xanax is why I've had anxiety dreams, increased panic attacks, and horrific mood-swings for the past two weeks.

He has prescribed Lithium and Seroquel for now, and requested blood-work and an EKG.

He also told me that he can see why I was diagnosed as bi-polar going on Dr W's notes, but that he thought there was probably something else going on, maybe as well as, maybe instead of. We're hoping to clarify that with the blood-word and EKG, or at least that was the impression I was given.

Some of the questions and comments threw me off and delighted me were as follows. The first of which was telling me that I was a good looking man, and that he was excited to meet me. I laughed kind of awkwardly and asked what he meant and he smiled and repeated that he'd been excited to meet me since he'd seen my file. So that was fun. Then later in the background Q&A he paused and asked "Were you a pretty girl?" to which I responded "Well yes, of course!". I'm sure there is no doubt of my vanity. :P He also complimented my beard and said he wished he could grow one like that.

I'm nervous yet about being on anti-psychotics, but I know that I can't get better if I don't actually try the treatments so I will take them. So, after a short day at work, I went to the pharmacy at Target to fill them, and pick up a new rescue inhaler. I also went by the toy section since generally if I have to visit the doctor I buy myself a treat. I didn't find anything for myself but I did find a little Rarity plush for Osaka! And in amazing serendipitous luck, Osaka actually found not one, but TWO Deuce Gorgons at the Target near where she works, one for her, and one for me, because she is AWESOME like that. So I did still get a pretty freaking awesome treat for doctor visit.

We (Osaka and I) actually ended up on the same bus home for the evening, so we scooped Ringo up and went out for a nice birthday dinner at San Jose! Dinner was awesome, until suddenly there was what felt like chip stuck in my teeth. It was actually critical tooth failure much to my distress. Luckily I do have good dental insurance. So tomorrow I will be hunting trying to get into somewhere for an emergency dentist appointment. Trying not to think about that, like at all.

But then we came home and there was a box on my bed~ My (very early) birthday gift from Steve arrived! I did open it (cause I could not wait until July, seriously), and was delighted. I knew what was coming because he ordered it for me while we were on Skype the other day, but I am delighted none-the-less. I got the Sunshine Hello Kitty, with the Harajuku hoodie. <3 and="" because="" br="" crazy="" dark="" i="" in="" it="" lemonade="" m="" magical="" my="" no="" pajamas.="" pictures="" pink="" raspberry="" s="" she="" soft.="" super="" this="" yet="">
I hope everyone else had a nice interesting day. @_@

Graze Box 7

My 7th graze box arrived tail end of last week and I finally actually opened it yesterday evening. I'm still excited about them, but I'm finding myself wanting to pace myself now. I may switch to the every 2 weeks schedule in the near future.

Anyway Box 7. 50/50 sweet and savory.

Chocolate Orange Granola - Trashed. I don't like that waxy crunch texture of nuts generally and the blanched almonds were everything I hate about nuts. So no blanched almonds for me.

Smoky Gazpacho Dip - I was really excited about this one. I love the dippers, and this was a savory one, not too sweet, and just a hint of smoky flavor. Loved it.

Scandinavian Forest - Liked. It was a little too apple/raisin texture heavy for me to love, but the flavor was very nice.

Chili and Lime Pistachios - LOVED. I think this may be my favorite of their seasoned pistachio samplings. <3 1="" amazing.="" and="" before="" box="" br="" had="" i="" in="" it="" s="" still="">

Hmmn.

So, I saw a Psychologist today Dr W, who listened and asked questions and then very kindly and politely explained why I was diagosed bi polar in my teens, why it was and is a correct diagnosis, and how my symptoms differ from some of the other conditions I thought it might be.

I'm still really upset by the diagnosis. Bi polar disorder is a terrifying mental disease, there is no cure, no guarenteed treatment. I was hoping it was a mistake and that I'm just exceptionally neurotic.

I have a followup with a Psychiatrist Dr T, to discuss treatment options, for May 7th. It was stressed that I MUST take my meds, and that it is important to discuss changes rather than just deciding they don't work and discontinuing treatment. Fair enough since that's totally what I did in my teens..

I'm scared, angry, worried, and maybe a bit hopeful.