Which dolls do I take?

I've only got so much room to take dollies home with me. So I'm asking ya'll who I should take with me. I definitely want to take Noland with me, but he's the only sure thing. I have room for either 2 minies, or 4 tinies, or 1 mini and 2 tinies. Apollo and Ichigo are minies, and the rest are tinies. Photo-collage for those who may not remember who is who.

Which doll(s) should I take home with me? I'm trying to narrow it down from the ten I have in mind, Ichigo, Apollo, Doran, Sarabelle, Moonbeam, Starshine, Simon Oliver, Christopher Owen, Toby, and Noland.



And Noland, who is DEFINITELY going.

Pics, cause I got my hair cut.

So, I don't know if I mentioned it here, but I've decided to grow a beard. Or well, I'm trying at least. I do have some respectable scruff, but it's still pretty thin. I have to let it get pretty long to make it look fuller. I trimmed it up the other day in anticipation of getting my hair cut before I go home to visit my family.

I figure there will be alot of Holiday photos and I don't want to look like a Hobo, so I got my haircut, and I've groomed up my facial hair. I like it longer than it is right now, but it takes a while to grow out, and I wanted it to look right with the length of my hair, which I did get cut today.

I know the last two photos are similar but I liked them both too much to choose between them.





Nothing dramatic, I just got it trimmed up. I'm keeping it longer on top than I have been. Finding my look is difficult since I'm continuing to have subtle changes on a consistent basis. I think I definitely want contacts. My glasses look a little silly on my face anymore, since my face is a completely different shape than it was when I picked those frames out. And, my eyes seem to be alot more noticeable now, than they were pre-transition, and I'd really like to show them off.

Most of the photos from Thanksgiving will probably show me in my glasses, but I plan to take them off for any "official" family photos. The glasses are so old now, that most of the anti-glare coating is worn off. I think I will plan to get contacts probably in January.

Going home for Thanksgiving (2011)

So, I will definitely be heading home (to Texas) for Thanksgiving. I just managed to get my plane ticket on the 5th. I meant to buy it back in August but couldn't.

I'm planning to take some dolls with me, maybe swing a meetup if at all possible. There's no shortage of doll folk in DFW but I don't know if there are any meetups scheduled around Thanksgiving. I should poke in at DOA and find out. If there aren't it'll just be me, Mom, Faythe, and maybe Mom's boyfriend's kids who also collect BJDs, if they don't have other plans.

I'm also taking my laptop but I don't know whether I'll really be online at all. I'm hoping to get one on one time with each of my siblings, and also planning to bring Batman Arkham City, for Faythe to ogle and play.

There's not really much left for me to do, but to wait, try to cement basic plans, and figure out exactly how much clothing I need or want to take, while leaving room for prescriptions and toiletries. I figure a pair of shorts or two, jeans, a hoody because even if it's Texas it is still late November, and several t-shirts should get me through the week.

There are alot of people I'd like to see in theory, but mostly I'm coming home to see Family. Anything else is bonus. I haven't seen my family (not including Faythe) since I left Texas to come back to Virginia Beach, and I miss them. And none of them have seen me since I started my medical transition. We've talked on the phone and such, but that's not quite the same.

I know I look different, and sound different, and I'm hoping that getting to spend time one on one with my siblings and Mom, will show them I'm still me, just finally happy. I'm finding that as I get to a healthier place I'm really excited about actually getting to know my sisters for the people they really are, rather than the people I've assumed they've become based on old prejudices and hurt feelings.

I will admit, that same skittish part of me, that was prone to hurt feelings and misunderstandings as a child, is screaming in the back of my head that I'm wrong, and my family can't possibly love me for who I am. Luckily I seem to be in a much saner place than I was as a child, and I recognize that feeling as baseless fear. I think they proved that irrational fear-based part of me wrong when I called them and came out.

I do understand that some of them may not agree with my decision to transition, based upon their religious beliefs, which I do respect. I don't think that makes them love me any less though. It just makes it harder to accept what they see as a choice on my part.

That fear-based part of me, doesn't want to post the entirety of this entry to the public, family-read blog, but I feel that I owe that honesty to my family. Because I feel that staying closeted, I lied to them for too many years. This isn't meant to make anyone uncomfortable. It's only meant to be honest.

Innes The Water Dragon

Awhile back I made a really brief reference to a doll I was getting. When the doll arrived I didn't know what to do with it. It was nothing like the pictures had led me to believe.

This evening as I was coming down from an anxiety attack, I was struck by how this character was actually supposed to look. I sketched him out, and began to flesh him out more, as a character.



I've never touched much on the magical universe that Doran, Starshine, and Moonbeam inhabit, or how it relates to the universe(s) my other does inhabit.

The world I picture for what I call my magic babies, is very small. Like British Isles small. I've never been there, but I've had dreams and fantasies, based on my daydreams, and pinches of appropriate mythology.

I don't have a name for this alternate universe because it doesn't really feel like an alternate universe to me. It's more like a pocket of magic in a somehow untouched and undiscovered part of our world. Whether it's the natural and old magic of the area, or the village of witches right at the cusp, or the old magical beings, the elementals, the other mythical and mystical beings.

Moonbeam is a young witch living in a village built at the edge of an old magical body of water. It's a lake, self-contained, and there are parts of the village built right out onto the water, on the ancient stone that juts out into the lake.

Magic is a tool that you learn young, if you have the talent for it, and some are more inclined than others. Moonbeam has some natural talent, but she is very young, and not yet bonded to an elemental or guardian spirit, who are supposed to guide and teach their young magical companions. Commonly young witches are paired with young elementals or spirits who have a good natural rapport.

This world is a blend of Celtic/Gaelic, Irish, Scottish, and Welsh myths and cultures, combined through my own bias. Moonbeam resides in what would be closest to my ideal Ireland. Doran resides in my version of Scotland. Starshine passes between the two, favoring Moonbeam's land.

In the lake, that the Village is built on, reside many water elementals, all friendly, some very old, some very young. One of them, Innes, was to be paired with Moonbeam, when the both reached the age of the joining. Innes, is the Water Dragon, my concept sketch seen above.

I see him as a furred dragon with long flowing hair, and a tail made of the same long flowing hair. I'm also toying with the idea of modding him with fins on his arms and legs, but I will see what I see when the doll I intend for the character arrives.

Because Starshine and Moonbeam are both Beyla heads, and Innes is strongly entwined in their story, it was important that his aesthetic meld smoothly with theirs. So, I've tentatively settled on a Littlefee Elf Chiwoo (girl version). I plan to modify the body to gender neutral, because I like the Girl Elf Chiwoo face better than the Boy Elf Chiwoo face, and it's just easier than modding the boy body neutral.

The only reason I've gone into quite so much detail is because in my original entry I didn't, and I like being able to go back and see what details I've developed in the past.