Wednesday, August 17, 2022

Nightmares or Anxiety Dreams

It's not a debate more of an internal category sorting problem since it can be either or both. 

Anyway I keep having upsetting dreams with a theme of busy preparing for a move with people I know and love, sometimes it's Christy and members of her family, sometimes it is other people I don't know in waking life, sometimes it's my own family members. 

Also variable formats, A: I didn't know we are moving but everyone else did, B: I knew we were moving but I'm not done packing and suddenly it's D-Day, C: I am done packing but someone keeps unpacking or moving things while I'm asleep or elsewhere. 

Those are the most common ones for the moving anxiety nightmares. I woke from one that was a blend of A and C just a little bit ago and my chest feels tight like a panic attack half-started, with my heart hammering and adrenaline pumping. I hate it.

Moving is the most stressful and traumatic thing in life to me, and I have personally experienced what many people would consider far worse traumas. 

I suspect I'm anxious about Mom's health and her impending retirement and knowing how much of a financial burden my continuing existence is. I am not a danger to myself. I am just aware of how expensive it is to keep me alive.

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About Me

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I'm Rory or Rorek in most places. I design, sew, and craft, primarily for my Asian Ball-Jointed Dolls. I also dabble in interior design, but I'm a little out of practice.

I post about the things I enjoy, which are sewing, photographing my dolls, designing new outfits, knitting, which I started in September of 2008, thanks to my Mom, and occasionally drawing, or painting.

I also post about Life Events and how they affect me and those that I love.

Currently I am living in DFW, Texas in the USA and working towards a degree in Theology.