Happy Easter to those who celebrate it.

 First this:

Then a summary of my week.

Wednesday I finally realized the back pain that had been amping up was definitely left kidney (again). I asked Mom for visual confirmation of what I already knew was there and then politely requested that we make a visit to th ER. I felt bad because Mom was already tired and in pain from verboten back problem but it was a necessary visit whether either of us wanted it or not.

If you have me on Facebook you may have seen the play by play as Mom and I tag-teamed updates. Since many of you are not on my Facebook I will try to summarize. Wednesday evening we went over to a nearer ER than the one I went to last time. We expected a quick in and out sincecqe knew what the problem was and just needed confirmation. A CT scan confirmed at least one stone kicking about in left kidney in no hurry to escape. Urinalysis and bloodwork suggest I passed a small stone recently (within 24 hours) which would account for the inflamation and pain.

Also visible on the CT scan was an unexplained pocket of air in the abdomen. The doctors were concerned about this and had me do a contrast CT scan to try to find where the air was leaking from. They briefly mentioned possibly ending surgery immediately without further context. After contrast CT confirmed the air pocket but no leak, they told me they wanted to admit me to hospital and would discuss whether surgery was necessary. 12 hours without fluids or food later I spoke to the surgeon. He told me that surgery would entail cutting me from breastbone to pubic bone with no guarantee of finding anything, and that since CT did not show where the leak was he was disinclined to cut me open on the off chance he could find something and then hope so healed afterwards. He and the main doctor went back and forth about it for a few hours before he spoke to me.

They kept me a little longer because they didn't agree on whether I needed to stay for observation but finally Thursday afternoon I was released with antibiotics and some hydrocodone for when that stone breaks free.

I feel weak as a newborn kitten, partly from the 12 hour fast, partly from the radioactive contrast stuff ingested and via IV, and mainly because I couldn't sleep at all while there.

Falling asleep in public.

 I keep doing off, at school mid task. We had storm after storm blow through last night and with the severe weather alarm going off *EVERY* *SINGLE* *HOUR* I managed less than an hour of sleep. If I wasn't already a day behind in notes I'd have stsyed home and hoped for sleep. As it is my eyes are drying out from my contacts and I'm wishing I was home in bed. 

I don't have words.

I looked for an app to post to dreamwidth from my phone like I've been doing with lj and blogger, but no such app seems to exist. I will continue to crosspost my entries for awhile but will ve switching mainly to DW over time. Same screen name.

Current mood is this:

 Between people being assaulted and dragged off airplanes, airstrikes in Syria, gay concentration camps in Russia, I'm numb. I can't process any of it. I'm logically terrified and functionally shut down. 404 error, no Rory found.

Notes to my doctor

I keep a memo with dates (And sometimes times) running to record things of interest regarding my health so I can remember to discuss them. Today's notes so far as of 6:30am local time:

"Woke up non-functional. Physically can not do things I can generally do. Migraine present, medicated, back scream with pain, joints spontaneously dislocating. I keep crying, I'm so frustrated. Actual tears. I haven't been capable of physical tears when crying in years.

I'm at a loss and feel defeated. What caused this? Yesterday I did a couple loads of laundry, minor tidying in my room, some more unpacking and careful shifting of things. I've thrown out my back. This shouldn't even be an issue.

I WANT to go to class but physically can not. It took 20 minutes to carefully get out of bed. I was limping and trying not to cry while in motion. I can't lift a pillow, let alone my backpack. I'm angry, tired, feel defeated over this.

I'm already freaking out about getting complete notes between several classmates. I have so much that needs doing and much of it is standard day to day stuff and I JUST can't today.
4/6/2017"

I am tired, sore, angry. I don't have more eloquent words.

If there are typos I fix that before my appointments.

I'm technically alive.

I have been super bad about checking in. No kidney stones or other new and upsetting health things just a doozy of a migraine that lasted a week at 10/10 on pain scale coupled with sensory overload on all fronts. I have been incommunicado with every one except my mother intermittently because she lives with me and can gently prod me until I respond.

I don't feel well. Nothing in particular is wrong. Geology is going well. I have taken a bunch of pictures of random things and shared commented sporadically on Facebook, LiveJournal, and via text. Mostly I've been recovering physically from my trip to Tennessee and back.

Got to see BFF and her son, and also her Mom, who is pretty awesome. My Mom got to meet her, and also BFF's brother on our way through Nashville as we had a meal together to catch up and enjoy good food. I probably will continue to be less active. I have a laundry list of things to discuss with my primary when I see him on the 17th.