Nightmares or Anxiety Dreams

It's not a debate more of an internal category sorting problem since it can be either or both. 

Anyway I keep having upsetting dreams with a theme of busy preparing for a move with people I know and love, sometimes it's Christy and members of her family, sometimes it is other people I don't know in waking life, sometimes it's my own family members. 

Also variable formats, A: I didn't know we are moving but everyone else did, B: I knew we were moving but I'm not done packing and suddenly it's D-Day, C: I am done packing but someone keeps unpacking or moving things while I'm asleep or elsewhere. 

Those are the most common ones for the moving anxiety nightmares. I woke from one that was a blend of A and C just a little bit ago and my chest feels tight like a panic attack half-started, with my heart hammering and adrenaline pumping. I hate it.

Moving is the most stressful and traumatic thing in life to me, and I have personally experienced what many people would consider far worse traumas. 

I suspect I'm anxious about Mom's health and her impending retirement and knowing how much of a financial burden my continuing existence is. I am not a danger to myself. I am just aware of how expensive it is to keep me alive.

Rogue Patella

So today I has one of the most excruciating experiences of my life which was anticlimactic in the end. I was crouched down to refill my wire rack of soda and my left kneecap decided to dislocate in protest. This happens sometimes regardless of position but today I was stuck in that position and my back and body froze on me, causing lightning pain to shoot up and down and an increasing fear that my tendons or cartilage were going to snap as my knee refused to budge. 

After what I estimate was at least 10 seconds real time I managed to brace myself against the fridge frame on Mt right and the dishwasher on my left and drag myself to a standing position.

My knee was already swollen, but gentle manipulation set my patella back into the correct placement and I determined there might be tears but there was no full break in tendon. 

I was already preparing to eat so I limped down the hall in three trips to carefully take my food to my folding tray and an icepack to reduce swelling. I also immediately took an anti-inflammatory and anti-nausea medication. The pain has gone from the 10 I had while crouching, down to about a 4 initially and has crept back up to an 8 since it happened.

Unfortunately I seem to have lost my soft compression knee brace in one of my moves so I will probably brace that ankle incase I end up spraining it while being careful of my knee. 

This super sucks.