Which dolls do I take?

I've only got so much room to take dollies home with me. So I'm asking ya'll who I should take with me. I definitely want to take Noland with me, but he's the only sure thing. I have room for either 2 minies, or 4 tinies, or 1 mini and 2 tinies. Apollo and Ichigo are minies, and the rest are tinies. Photo-collage for those who may not remember who is who.

Which doll(s) should I take home with me? I'm trying to narrow it down from the ten I have in mind, Ichigo, Apollo, Doran, Sarabelle, Moonbeam, Starshine, Simon Oliver, Christopher Owen, Toby, and Noland.



And Noland, who is DEFINITELY going.

Pics, cause I got my hair cut.

So, I don't know if I mentioned it here, but I've decided to grow a beard. Or well, I'm trying at least. I do have some respectable scruff, but it's still pretty thin. I have to let it get pretty long to make it look fuller. I trimmed it up the other day in anticipation of getting my hair cut before I go home to visit my family.

I figure there will be alot of Holiday photos and I don't want to look like a Hobo, so I got my haircut, and I've groomed up my facial hair. I like it longer than it is right now, but it takes a while to grow out, and I wanted it to look right with the length of my hair, which I did get cut today.

I know the last two photos are similar but I liked them both too much to choose between them.





Nothing dramatic, I just got it trimmed up. I'm keeping it longer on top than I have been. Finding my look is difficult since I'm continuing to have subtle changes on a consistent basis. I think I definitely want contacts. My glasses look a little silly on my face anymore, since my face is a completely different shape than it was when I picked those frames out. And, my eyes seem to be alot more noticeable now, than they were pre-transition, and I'd really like to show them off.

Most of the photos from Thanksgiving will probably show me in my glasses, but I plan to take them off for any "official" family photos. The glasses are so old now, that most of the anti-glare coating is worn off. I think I will plan to get contacts probably in January.

Going home for Thanksgiving (2011)

So, I will definitely be heading home (to Texas) for Thanksgiving. I just managed to get my plane ticket on the 5th. I meant to buy it back in August but couldn't.

I'm planning to take some dolls with me, maybe swing a meetup if at all possible. There's no shortage of doll folk in DFW but I don't know if there are any meetups scheduled around Thanksgiving. I should poke in at DOA and find out. If there aren't it'll just be me, Mom, Faythe, and maybe Mom's boyfriend's kids who also collect BJDs, if they don't have other plans.

I'm also taking my laptop but I don't know whether I'll really be online at all. I'm hoping to get one on one time with each of my siblings, and also planning to bring Batman Arkham City, for Faythe to ogle and play.

There's not really much left for me to do, but to wait, try to cement basic plans, and figure out exactly how much clothing I need or want to take, while leaving room for prescriptions and toiletries. I figure a pair of shorts or two, jeans, a hoody because even if it's Texas it is still late November, and several t-shirts should get me through the week.

There are alot of people I'd like to see in theory, but mostly I'm coming home to see Family. Anything else is bonus. I haven't seen my family (not including Faythe) since I left Texas to come back to Virginia Beach, and I miss them. And none of them have seen me since I started my medical transition. We've talked on the phone and such, but that's not quite the same.

I know I look different, and sound different, and I'm hoping that getting to spend time one on one with my siblings and Mom, will show them I'm still me, just finally happy. I'm finding that as I get to a healthier place I'm really excited about actually getting to know my sisters for the people they really are, rather than the people I've assumed they've become based on old prejudices and hurt feelings.

I will admit, that same skittish part of me, that was prone to hurt feelings and misunderstandings as a child, is screaming in the back of my head that I'm wrong, and my family can't possibly love me for who I am. Luckily I seem to be in a much saner place than I was as a child, and I recognize that feeling as baseless fear. I think they proved that irrational fear-based part of me wrong when I called them and came out.

I do understand that some of them may not agree with my decision to transition, based upon their religious beliefs, which I do respect. I don't think that makes them love me any less though. It just makes it harder to accept what they see as a choice on my part.

That fear-based part of me, doesn't want to post the entirety of this entry to the public, family-read blog, but I feel that I owe that honesty to my family. Because I feel that staying closeted, I lied to them for too many years. This isn't meant to make anyone uncomfortable. It's only meant to be honest.

Innes The Water Dragon

Awhile back I made a really brief reference to a doll I was getting. When the doll arrived I didn't know what to do with it. It was nothing like the pictures had led me to believe.

This evening as I was coming down from an anxiety attack, I was struck by how this character was actually supposed to look. I sketched him out, and began to flesh him out more, as a character.



I've never touched much on the magical universe that Doran, Starshine, and Moonbeam inhabit, or how it relates to the universe(s) my other does inhabit.

The world I picture for what I call my magic babies, is very small. Like British Isles small. I've never been there, but I've had dreams and fantasies, based on my daydreams, and pinches of appropriate mythology.

I don't have a name for this alternate universe because it doesn't really feel like an alternate universe to me. It's more like a pocket of magic in a somehow untouched and undiscovered part of our world. Whether it's the natural and old magic of the area, or the village of witches right at the cusp, or the old magical beings, the elementals, the other mythical and mystical beings.

Moonbeam is a young witch living in a village built at the edge of an old magical body of water. It's a lake, self-contained, and there are parts of the village built right out onto the water, on the ancient stone that juts out into the lake.

Magic is a tool that you learn young, if you have the talent for it, and some are more inclined than others. Moonbeam has some natural talent, but she is very young, and not yet bonded to an elemental or guardian spirit, who are supposed to guide and teach their young magical companions. Commonly young witches are paired with young elementals or spirits who have a good natural rapport.

This world is a blend of Celtic/Gaelic, Irish, Scottish, and Welsh myths and cultures, combined through my own bias. Moonbeam resides in what would be closest to my ideal Ireland. Doran resides in my version of Scotland. Starshine passes between the two, favoring Moonbeam's land.

In the lake, that the Village is built on, reside many water elementals, all friendly, some very old, some very young. One of them, Innes, was to be paired with Moonbeam, when the both reached the age of the joining. Innes, is the Water Dragon, my concept sketch seen above.

I see him as a furred dragon with long flowing hair, and a tail made of the same long flowing hair. I'm also toying with the idea of modding him with fins on his arms and legs, but I will see what I see when the doll I intend for the character arrives.

Because Starshine and Moonbeam are both Beyla heads, and Innes is strongly entwined in their story, it was important that his aesthetic meld smoothly with theirs. So, I've tentatively settled on a Littlefee Elf Chiwoo (girl version). I plan to modify the body to gender neutral, because I like the Girl Elf Chiwoo face better than the Boy Elf Chiwoo face, and it's just easier than modding the boy body neutral.

The only reason I've gone into quite so much detail is because in my original entry I didn't, and I like being able to go back and see what details I've developed in the past.

Videogame Etiquette

So, I'm one of those gamers that generally prefers to play games on my own. I don't mind games with co-op modes, but over-all, I prefer single player games. I also prefer to figure puzzles and such out on my own. I'm a reasonably intelligent guy, and most of the time, if I come at things from enough angles I can figure it out on my own.

One thing I HATE, is when someone natters on about what I'm doing. Whether it's "Hey, what's that over there?" or "Have you tried X Y Z?" if I'm in a bit of a challenge, or just general commentary. I don't like it. It makes what may already be a challenging bit, mindnumblingly difficult.

So, when I was playing Batman Arkham City, and literally stumbled into the Penguin's lair, with Tiny his pet shark, I got a little frustrated. It's one of those things that I can do, if I have peace and quiet and plenty of chances to try it from different angles.

However, what I had instead was Pherret (and Ringo to a much lesser degree) doing the above. "What's that? Try this! Do that over there! What happens if-"

So when I died for the fifth time in a row without snapping off, which took all my self control, and RAGE!QUIT, I was a little upset when Pherret IMMEDIATELY turned to me and asked "Do you mind if I play it for a bit?"

"A little bit actually, cause I'm pretty worked up over it right now" is what I actually said. What I wanted to do was scream "REALLY?! Cause I could have played this and gotten through this section much easier if you would kindly shut the hell up!"

I don't think I'm completely off-base thinking it's rude to ask to play a game someone just rage!quit from. It's nothing to do with ownership of the game, or what else is on TV. It's just that I wouldn't necessarily have been driven to rage!quit if he could have kept his damn mouth shut in the first place.

It is something I have struggled with myself, the keeping quiet when someone else is playing a game. But I believe that the polite thing to do is keep it to myself unless someone else actually asks for my thoughts or opinions on the game.

I had a conversation along these lines with Ringo earlier today and he seems to get it. I wish I could have this conversation with Pherret, but I'm certain he would take it personally.

Dollies! Osaka's Lagoon arrived this morning. :)

So, about 20 minutes before I was about to head out to the bus stop this morning, there was a knock on the door. This was maybe, MAYBE five minutes after Christy went "Oh snot, Lagoon is out for delivery, I hope they deliver it before the parent teacher conference".

Osaka and I were delighted by the polkadot packing tape. Please excuse the blurriness of my photos, my hands were shaking in excitement.


The outfit in the little decorative box. Every detail was just so cute. :]


A better shot of the skirt and Osaka smiling down at the box.


I don't know if Batchix made the cushion/sleeping bag or not, but it's totally cute. Oh and that's Sadie with the laser eyes. She's a pug/boston terrier mix.


When Osaka pulled Lagoon (as of yet un-named) free, she noticed that the left eye had shaken loose in transit which is funny, because there's this ongoing theme of left eye injuries in Osaka's life. Lagoon seems rather less amused about this.


A better shot of her, free of the bubblewrap, and torso joint in place.


And finally, one of her, eyes fixed, with Osaka's Mod MNF Ruth, Xiahou Dun.

First Order from Kondoll

So I ordered this outfit August 12th from Kondoll. It said in stock, so I was under the impression the items were pre-made. I received an e-mail on August 22nd, asking what specific doll type the outfit was for, because apparently Kondoll custom tailors for each doll type. Which is fine, because the site did say it to allow between 20 and 30 days for shipping.

Then I didn't hear anything for a bit, but didn't notice because I was distracted with looking for work and such. So, one day I happened to check my bulk mail for something unrelated and saw a message from Kondoll dated September 23rd, with a shipping number, also apologizing for the long wait. I don't know why it got filtered to spam, but I moved it to inbox and sat on it. I discovered this only a day or two after it actually got sent.

Tracking never did updated. I kept trying but I got nothing but errors on the chinese tracking site, and the USA didn't confirm that it ever entered the country. Finally it turned up Thursday evening October 13th. That is, two full months after I placed the order initially.

Upon opening the package I discovered it to be made of exquisite quality. I paid $41 US dollars, airmail shipping included. They could have charged about 65-70 for the outfit alone. Some of there stuff is for that much. Only real problem was that this wasn't the exact item I ordered. It was the nearly identical one, and it was handmade, fits perfectly, and the one I debated ordering instead so I'm really not upset. It's just worth noting, that after waiting two months, while the outfit is made beautifully, and everything I'd hoped for, it's not exactly what I ordered.

That said, Noland is happy. This is his first proper outfit. I do plan to order from Kondoll again, taking into account the length of time I should expect, and springing for EMS next time if it is offered. Cause I don't like knowing I could have had it in hand after shortly after a month.

30 gaming questions answered (some with pictures)

I yoinked this from my sister Faythe(Nekokoi). Some of our answers are the same or similar.

1: Very first video game.
Dragon Warrior(Quest)

2: Your favorite character.
Link.

3: A game that is underrated.
Fable (3)

4: Your guilty pleasure game.
Pretty much any Pokemon game.

5: Game character you feel you are most like (or wish you were).
I wanna be a pokemon trainer/breeder. :B

6: Most annoying character.
Navi from Ocarina of Time.

7: Favorite game couple.
Link/Sheik

8: Best soundtrack.
Katamari Damacy

9: Saddest game scene.
The scene, in Dragon Quest 4, when your childhood best friend takes your form, to save your life, and is slaughtered by monsters. It moves me to tears every time.

10: Best gameplay.
Zelda: Ocarina of Time

11: Gaming system of choice.
Xbox 360, but I also play my Nintendo DS quite a bit.

12: A game everyone should play.
Guitar Hero

13: A game you’ve played more than five times.
Any Pokemon game.

14: Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper.

(Pokemon)

15: Post a screenshot from the game you’re playing right now.

(Fable 2)

16: Game with the best cut scenes.
I've always liked the cut scenes in Final Fantasy.

17: Favorite antagonist.
Ganon

18: Favorite protagonist.
Link

19: Picture of a game setting you wish you lived in.

(Pokemon)

20: Favorite genre.
RPG/Adventure.

21: Game with the best story.
Dragon Quest 4

22: A game sequel which disappointed you.
Pokemon White/Black. Too story heavy. I prefer the Red/Blue/Yellow style that played all the way through each game with the last in that style being Pokemon Soul Silver.

23: Game you think had the best graphics or art style.
Oh man, Zelda Twilight Princess KILLED me with the beautiful world and characters. Killed me dead. The story isn't my favorite but the graphics make up for it, for me.

24: Favorite classic game.
Pokemon Yellow. I go back and play it alot.

25: A game you plan on playing.
Zelda: Ocarina of Time for 3DS. I already own it. I just don't have my 3DS yet.

26: Best voice acting.
Not a factor for me.

27: Most epic scene ever.
Final Fantasy X when Sin shows up for the first time. That blew my mind.

28: Favorite game developer.
Enix! They developed Dragon Warrior (Quest)

29: A game you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up loving.
Fable 3. Everyone talks smack about Fable but I really liked 3, and now I've bought 2 and am enjoying it, so far.

30: Your favorite game of all time.
Dragon Quest 4.

Discussions with Ringo

I was delighted today, when Osaka relayed a conversation she had with Ringo today. They were having a very pleasant time of running errands, moods in good order and all that.

And she asked Ringo, "What do you know about Rory?"

Ringo replied "Awesome gamer with mad skills who likes cute things"

Osaka clarified "Well what about Robyn becoming Rory?"

And he said "What about it?"

She asked, "Is that just Rory being Rory?"

and he said "Yes!"

"Is it because no matter what, he's still the same on the inside?"

and again he responded "Yes!" and gave her a look like she was a bit crazy. Like it's no big deal.

Which is awesome. We've been open about the change, but not stressing it. It's just something that we are dealing with, the way we don't make a big deal over my asthma, or Osaka's depression, or Pherret's PTSD. It's just one of the things that our family deals with, and there's no reason it has to be a huge stressful deal, because there are other things that ARE worth that kind of attention. Like, Pherret's deathly allergic reactions to shellfish, or Ringo's performance at school, or anything else that is obviously more important.

It's made things easier for everyone to roll with one change at a go.

It's also worth noting that I am getting sir'ed more consistently in public, especially now with the more obvious facial hair, despite the chest. To the point that I got the stink eye from some pre-teen girls when I went to wash my hands in the women's restroom at Cracker Barrel this morning. They were asking loudly "This IS the girls room right?" and staring pointedly at me. I felt really awkward but I was just trying to wash my hands before I ate. @_@ I get a bit nervous going into the mensroom yet. I will be relieved when I have had and healed from my chest surgery, and it will make more sense for everyone to see me in the mensroom.

What spurred the conversation mentioned above, was that Ringo had started to use a male pronoun to refer to me, then stopped and corrected himself. And Osaka told him it was okay to use male pronouns for me, that it was correct. Which was funny because at breakfast he'd been drawing evil mustaches on all the boys on his menu, and informed us "Girls don't grow mustaches.. Well except for Rory but she doesn't count." He's been kind of flip-flopping on pronoun usage for a week or so. I think, because Osaka has been consistently using male pronouns for months, and Pherret is flip-flopping them. He WAS using male pronouns soley when we we're out of the house, but he outted me three times in a week awhile back and I chewed him a new one, so he stopped using them at all.

Shaving, or the lack thereof.

So, I'm out at my new workplace, which should probably go without saying. I am going by my chosen name, so that I can get used to responding to it, and the only people who know my legal name, are management.

I've also stopped shaving. While I was putting in on online applications I stopped shaving entirely and discovered that my beard filled in alot better than it did when I was shaving it about twice a week. So, I'm letting it grow and see how it fills in. I've got a good amount of fuzz coming in, but it's not a full beard yet, or even really close to it.

I had planned to shave and ignore it until I was post-chest surgery, but I am getting more consistently read as male when I have the 5 o'clock shadow. Babyface means I get Ma'am still, even with the dropped voice and masculine face. And oh boy has my face gone that way. These photos are from last night:




It's amazing to me how much my face continues to change. It was awkward and puffy for months as everything adjusted. I seem to be past all that now, and the acne I was experiencing has mostly cleared up. Especially since I stopped shaving. I've had trouble spots on my right side to the extent that not as much hair comes in on that side. I'm just washing and moisturizing it now, not shaving, not trimming.

Once it all gets to a length I'll begin trimming it, but for now, I'm letting it go a bit. :]