It's my birthday and I'll whine if I want to.

So I've been having minor (or not so minor) fits about turning 29. Partly because I continue to be vain to a ridiculous degree, and partly because I was hoping to somehow, by some miracle, have had my chest surgery by this birthday. My personal deadline is by 30, but I wanted it done by 29, if possible.

I've had other, fabulous progress. My beard has come along very nicely, over the last year, I'm fully socially transitioned, and I'm not far from having my name legally changed. I meant to do that earlier in the year (like 7 months ago) but I had drama to contend with, that has continued well into the year and shows no sign of stopping.

I have this every year though, now that I'm creeping out of my twenties, and I don't feel young and pretty anymore. I'm outwardly cocky and flirtatious, but inside I'm terrified and self-conscious. That's one of the reasons I'm not dating. That, and the person I would like to be dating, is half a world away.

So I have insomnia, and anxiety attacks usually for the entire week leading up to my birthday. This year I have the bonus of daily migraines, with the higher stress level, and elevated testosterone making me more prone.

So, hooray birthday in theory, because that's always been the one day I don't feel at all guilty making it all about me, but boo on stress.

Saturday (my actual birthday, July 14th) I will be doing errands early in the day, and then plan to bum around the house and eat cake until I go out in the evening with co-workers and friends. I was going to be spending it with Wotan, Osaka, and Ringo, but Wotan's had to delay his trip out here to later in the month. So, I get to have a mini second birthday when he arrives. :]