Ack. My joints suck.

I have just spent about 9 hours cleaning, organizing and redressing my dolls, and now my back and joints are screaming.

I still need to take photos but I'm giving into sleep first. I've been wanting to do a massive group shot, but it takes so long to dust and dress 32 dolls in varying sizes and then arrange them carefully for photos.

I plan to take individual portrait shots of each doll and then one large group photo that shows all of them clearly. I'm not sure I have the room or strength for that part.

Additionally I seem to have partially dislocated my left shoulder from handling the largest and heaviest of them, and now I don't have room to roll it back into socket by laying on the floor and applying pressure. So.. that sucks.

Right now I am laying on my memory foam wedge pillow and hoping for some relief. I think I'm in too much pain to sleep but I have a long day ahead of me. Even if I can't sleep, laying still should ease my shoulder pain.

I need to get up in a couple hours for optimal lighting and so I have time to take photos, put everyone away, and tidying up with time for homework and a couple of job applications.

Doll Quiz Revisited

BJD Quiz~
Ganked from my own journal, originally posted Apr. 28th, 2012.

List your Crew! (Significant growth in 4 years)

Ro (DoC Tender Yen on WS Bluefairy Tinyfairy body)
Elli [Elijah Samuel] (CustomHouse Mars for Valentine)
Ichigo (Volks MSD Tsubaki)
Christopher Owen (Volks Yo-SD Tinatsu boy)
Émile (CustomHouse Uranus Hybrid [Uriel head on Mars body])
Adam Everett Avery (Souldoll Lune)
Robbie (Volks SD10 School C)
Doran (Soom Glati)
Starshine (Soom Beyla *Unicorn head*)
Earnán (Soom Beyla *Human head*)
Sarabelle (Fairyland Leah)
Simon Oliver (Fairyland Little Bear Bisou)
Toby [Tobias Ezekial] (Iplehouse Byuri)
Noland (Rosenlied Beige boy)
Apollo (Soom Shale *Human head*)
??? (Soom Shale *Unicorn head*) Floating Head
Reji Dragonborn (Pukipuki Cupid2 Event Head)
Bear [Kodiak Storm] (Volks Hewitt on SDC body)
Orion (Batchix Machina Gamma)
Rowan (Volks SD13 F16)
Innis (Fairyland Littlefee Elf Vampire Rolly boy)
Kakashi Hatake (Souldoll Asiter) Floating Head - Need to Sell
Amelia (Volks MSD Manabu girl)
Shen (Volks MSD Enn)
October (Luts Tiny Delf Alice boy)
Zephi [Ismael Zephaniah] (Luts Kid Delf Ttory boy)
Crunchy (Luts Kid Delf Summer Event Head 2014)
Ryarlyn (Angell-Studio Pet Doll Kaiju)
Ed (Bluefairy "Edward Elric" Automail Jerome)
Joey (Asleep Eidolon Spearmint)
Owen Sebastian (Crobidoll Tori)
Aimé (Luts Kid Delf Winter Event Head 2014) Floating Head
Esmé (Luts Kid Delf Summer Event Head 2014) Floating Head
Marek (April Story New Fall)
Epona (Camellia Dynasty Sage)
Zhiti (Camellia Dynasty Large Clinging Cat)
Twinkle (Loongsoul Beck Deertaur)
Craig (Souldoll Asiter)
Link (Doll Legend Parado) *Awaiting Shipping*


Who was your first doll? Do you still own him, her, or it?
Ro was my first, my Dream of Doll Tender Yen. I do still own him, and have hybrided him onto a White Skin Bluefairy Tinyfairy boy body.

Who is your favorite doll?
Ichigo. Always Ichigo. I love all of my dolls but he is the favorite and will probably always be.

Which doll do you hope or plan to buy next?
I'd like to get bodies for the floating heads I have and plan to keep but as for whole dolls, I want to get Lucas for plot reasons.

Quick! You've instantly got $800 and must choose a doll to spend it on right now or it's gone forever! Who do you pick?
Migidoll Haru.

Quick! You've instantly got enough money for any one and must choose a doll to spend it on right now or it's gone forever, but this time you have to buy the doll for someone else! Who gets the dolly, and what do you get them?
I will buy Osaka bodies for her floating heads, If it MUST be a full doll, then I would buy Mom the doll of her choice, since Osaka won't let me get her full dolls.

Are you currently waiting on any dolls, heads, or bodies?
Yes, I am waiting on my Doll Legend Parado.

Do any of your dolls seem to like you to the point that they are infatuated with you?
Ah no. Most of my dolls are to one extent or another a fragment of myself, and I'm not into me like that.

Do any of your dolls seem to dislike or even hate you?
No. I would not keep a doll if their character seemed to dislike or hate me. They would move on to a new home.

Who's your most expensive doll at the time you purchased them, not counting items you bought separately for them?
I think at this point it's a three way time between Bear, Ed, and Rowan. I got a REALLY good deal on all three, and they are my most expensive dolls.

Who's the least expensive doll you own?
Reji Dragonborn!

Is there a limit to what you'd spend on a doll?
Absolutely. The only doll that I would have spent more than $1000 for, I have acquired for less than that, Edward Elric, my Automail Jerome. Generally I prefer to stay around or below the $500 mark, but I am not unreasonable.

Which doll did you wait for the longest for so far?
Émile, my CustomHouse hybrid. He took almost four months from order placed to shipped. I think this is still true. I've had layaways that lasted longer but as soon as final payment was made they were shipped same or next day.

Which doll had the shortest wait so far?
Elli, my CustomHouse Mars for Valentine. He was shipped like the same day I made payment, and arrived in less than a week.

Who's the biggest doll you own?
Marek, my April Story New Fall. He's right at 65cm.

Who's the smallest doll you own?
Reji Dragonborn is still the smallest.

Got any floating heads? If yes, how likely are they to receive bodies anytime soon?
Yes, I have four floating heads. None are likely to receive bodies this year unless someone GIVES me the bodies.

Got any floating bodies?
Nope.

Do you have any extra, unclaimed pairs of eyes? How many if so?
I have a small metal padded case full of eyes (and some eyelashes, eye putty, etc). I could not even begin to count the number. I have an eye hoarding obsession.

Do you have any extra, unclaimed wigs? How many if so?
Yes several, I haven't counted.

Anything you've said "never" to in the hobby that you later gave in to?
Pukipukis. They're far too small. I have Reji but am unlikely to get others this size.

Do you own dolls that aren't BJDs?
I have Monster High Dolls, mostly boys. They are for display only though and I don't have them out.

What was your last doll-related purchase?
I think it was ordering Link, my Doll Legend Parado.

What do you expect your next doll-related purchase to be?
Wigs for Avery and Osaka's Jeremy.

What was the last doll-related thing to arrive to you by mail?
I think it was the German sweets and hand knits from Ravelry user Samseramsamsam.

What was the last doll-related thing you purchased in person?
Oh goodness. I really am not sure. I bought some tiny books the other day.

Not counting floating heads, floating bodies, and anything on layaway (paid off dolls count), how many dolls do you own?
Not counting heads, or animals (Kaiju, black cat, pony) I have 32 complete dolls, including my incoming Link.

The quiz is over! Any last words?
I think I should revisit again in a few years and see if anything has changed much.

Migraine Medications and Unintended Side Effects.

Upon discussion with Osaka, we've determined that my new as needed migraine medication may the culprit in triggering my mixed states (to a degree that is quite unusual for me). I was going over the list of unusual behaviors I'd been experiencing, and newer side effects and almost every single one is either an incredibly rare side effect or in the case of rebound headaches that can turn back into full blown migraines, pretty standard.

So, my increased irritability, the increased sleeplessness, the increased depression, the manic impulses, while all a normal part of bipolar, and usually well managed are triggered or exacerbated by this new as needed medication. I also have been experiencing confusion, increased either awareness of, or actually increased face blindness, which has been incredibly frustrating to deal with. I will be typing up an e-mail or letter to my neurologist detailing the changes, side effects and reactions to this medication, and asking that I be switched back to imitrex.

Imitrex didn't work well with the older daily migraine medicine, but it seems to actually be effective with the Gabapentin. I took a dose early on when the newer medicine (also a triptan) didn't seem to help my head at all, and I had nearly a full box of Imitrex left. I checked first to make sure that they were safe to take together, and found ACTUAL relief, but I ran out of the Imitrex last week, and when a migraine surfaced over Spring Break, I reached a desperation point and took the new medicine, and have been in absolute agony (and I imagine not especially pleasant to be around) since.

I do have refills for the Imitrex, but I don't currently have the funds to refill it, so I am waiting until either my unemployment starts (which I have applied for, and been approved, pending clarification with Lowes on why I was fired) or I in some other way manage to scrape together funds. I think it's less than $20 (I take so many medications that I honestly can't keep the costs straight in my head anymore), but I just don't have that right now, so I will have to wait.

In the mean time I will continue to look for work until it's time to leave Virginia, and will focus on school, which has gotten marginally easier now that I am not on a daily med that is starving me, and causing decreased cognitive ability.

Bipolar Disorder: Mixed State

I am currently in the throes of a manic state. I have been swinging wildly between straight manic, and mixed state depending on the time of day and stressors that I come across in an average day. Today was a difficult day. I had a disruptive class experience in my psychology class, after a pleasant casual conversation with a classmate prior to class, and by the time I got home from school I was a tornado, whipping through, agitated, leaving chaos in my wake.

I did apologize to Osaka and Dragonmouse once I was calmed enough but it took sedation in the form of treating the migraine, and stopping to eat something, and then waiting as Osaka was kind enough to make a late lunch, and by the time all of that transpired I was cycling away from lucid, and was just heavily drugged. My pain slowly went down from a 10.5 on the painscale of 1-10, to about an 8, and then I waited a little bit longer, apologized again for the chaos I dragged in, explained that it was not in fact in response to anything that either of them had done or said, with another apology, and went and lay down.

I slept for a few hours, with my migraine tamed back to about a 5, and woke MANIC with a side of anxiety, generalized and acute, and depression.

I could write a novel about all the ways in which this is not an ideal way to exist, but it wouldn't make much sense at the moment. Suffice it to say, there is no medicine that I can take (my psychiatrist tried every drug out there that was safe for me) that can help with these mixed states. I have to ride them out and hope that I am incapable of causing too much chaos and destroying my friendships and relationships.

Osaka has been an incredibly patient and loving friend over our decade of face to face friendship, and I don't know that I will ever be able to fully express my appreciation, though I do try to do so.

I am unwell, and frustrated beyond words that all I can do is try to function and wait to be "better".

Owen Wants a Story

Today I did a photostory that I've been wanting to do for awhile. Osaka and I determined that when Owen and Simon visit their father Christian, that Simon Oliver plays with Lorelei and Christopher Owen (if Robbie has him over), and that Owen will seek out Ollie and Severus if they are about. Severus belongs to Osaka, and Owen Sebastian belongs to me.




















I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. We determined that Owen goes for big books without pictures on the front, and has at times been content to have Severus read the dictionary to him. Severus is surprisingly patient about it and seems quite content to read for him.

Introducing Twinkle, and sleep health.

So, yesterday (Tuesday) I determined that much of my back and hip ache is from sleeping on my side on the wedge pillow that I received (Thanks Andi!) after I was hospitalized with pneumonia in June 2015. So, since the cover needed washing anyway, rather than throwing a blanket over it, I removed the wedge for one night to see if that eased the pain of my back and hips at all.

I have not had so restless a sleep in I don't know how long. I woke up many times through the night, feeling like I was having trouble breathing, I couldn't get comfortable, and Osaka reported in the morning when I mentioned that I had slept like CRAP, that in stark contrast to usual, she could hear me snoring loudly and apnea several times through the night. x_x;; So. while my back gets sore from sleeping on my side (the only position I can stand to sleep in) overall the pillow has done wonders for my breathing and not aspirating acid.

So, the pillow with the cover nice and clean now, is back in place, and I will not make that mistake again. Next time I need to wash the cover, I will just wrap a blanket around the pillow.

In non-health news, Osaka painted up Twinkle (my deertaur) for me, and I LOVE how his face turned out.




He's got little teefers! If Osaka is willing and happy to do so, I'd like her to do his body blushing as well. He turned out beautifully and I am so pleased with his gorgeous face and slightly ginger fluff markings. @u@ Less visible are beautifully blushed ears, and his natural looking fade out on the forehead towards the hairline, which ends up looking rather like soft velvety fur on his face. :D

I have determined that while his little centaur body doesn't need clothes, I want to make him a warm sweater to wear since his torso looks like it would get cold. He has sculpted fluff on the lower half of his body but I imagine he has only light velvety fuzz if any hair, on his upper body.

I don't remember if I ever posted his arrival or not, but this is a proper, introducing Twinkle who now has a name and face entry.

I'm gonna make a Shiny Sylveon Gijinka outfit for Ichigo.

Monday (Feb. 29th) I was let go from Lowe's for too many medical absences. The paper I was made to sign phrased it as failure to work my schedule as written. As I've said here before I believe, none of my medical absences have been excused, regardless of medical paperwork, doctor's notes, etc. That does include my hospitalization for pneumonia in June of 2015, as well as many ER visits since then for compounding health issues, pretty well documented here. I have all of my original doctor's notes.

That said, I have been resting and focusing on school work before I start looking for work again. I've been exhausted and very sick for a long time, so I've needed the rest. Spring Break is this coming week, and I plan to spend it making a special outfit for Ichigo to get back into sewing, and also because I haven't sewn or knit anything since before I was hospitalized I think. I may have managed to crank out a small knitted project here or there, but for the most part I've been in too much pain.

So, the project that I am doing is a Shiny Sylveon inspired outfit. It will be white with blue and pink accents, and I plan to make a headband and tail for the Gijinka aspect. I have sketched up a design for it, and pulled out the appropriate ribbons, lace, buttons, snaps, and some fabric. I need to hit up the fabric store(s) for a small amount of blue material in the right weight and color for the vest I want to make, and also a little bit of fabric to make matching socks that can be used for shirts or other stuff in later projects.

I'm really excited about this project, and I keep having thoughts or ideas and tweaking the design but I think that's normal in the brainstorming and planning phase. I'm doing this as part of a sewing prompt on Den of Angels, and I'm looking forward to seeing not just my design, but everyone's outfits come together.

Medical Health

So, I saw a neurologist back in November and was put on a daily medication and an as needed medication, both of which were supposed to help with my migraines, and neither of which do. The daily medication is for certain the culprit for the kidney stone I developed and then passed, which is actually good news. My being sensitive and resistant to medication is a big red tick in the check list for towards a positive diagnosis of both conditions that my neurologists thinks that I have.

The good news is that I will be stepping off of the old medications immediately, and switching to a new daily, and a new (expensive UGH) as needed medication, and also a supplement that is supposed to help prevent migraines. He wrote a script for the supplement the first time but I never picked it up. I don't remember why, and I found the script for it later (like when I did my taxes what?) going through medical receipts. I don't have the new meds yet because the pharmacy has to order them, but they should be in tomorrow, and I'll pick them up after class.

Can I just say, again, that I really like my neurologist? I will see him once more before I leave for Texas. I missed my original followup which was scheduled for January 19th I think, because of my kidney stone, but they were all really understanding about that. One of the things that stands out about Dr Karim, is that he takes me seriously, takes my pain seriously, is respectful, and takes my concerns seriously. I really appreciate that, and I wish that it were possible to continue to see him through the diagnosis stage and finding the right medication stage, and I think he wishes that too. He is excited by how different my case is medically, but he is human and respectful about it and acknowledges that his excitement is NOT about my pain, just the challenge that it provides for him. He likes puzzles, and I am a medical puzzle.

Probably diagnoses at this point, POTS, and EDS. EXTENSIVE further testing needed.

Official Arrival of Souldoll Asiter (2nd) was February 8, 2016

Awhile back I had in my signature on Den of Angels that I was looking to purchase an old Souldoll boy body (to match my Asiter head), and after some time I was messaged by an old school DOA member asking if I might be interested in theirs. They had a whole doll but would be willing to split. Out of curiosity, I asked which doll, and it turned out it was an unmodded Asiter with a beautiful company faceup.

I crunched the numbers with Osaka, determined what length of layaway I would need to make it work (for the whole unmodded doll), and then immediately got very sick. x_x Luckily for me, the seller was incredibly kind about it, and held on to him for me, and allowed me to pay her as I was able turned out to be the remainder when my state tax return came in. I am very thankful and must say this is the nicest transaction I've had that has not been with a long established friend, ever. I hope to stay in contact and foster further friendship. I purchased from Cynthia in FlintHills on Den of Angels.

In a moment of delightful coincidence, I received a parcel from Samseramsamsam, whom I had sent a neck donut and some tidbits from Osaka and DragonMouse to help with the hybridization of her Minifee. So when I intercepted the postman he had quite the armful of stuff for me.

I neglected to take proper box opening photos but I did take photos of all the things that were sent in my parcel from Germany, and there are I hope some good photos of my new boy in here. PHOTO HEAVY.













And then my camera couldn't keep up, so I borrowed Osaka's with her permission. The great kilt outfit was also a welcome home gift from her for the new boy, whose name we have not yet settled.







Showing off the beautiful handknits that Samseramsamsam sent us.






There will be another post up either later today or tomorrow after errand running because as I slept off the worst of a really nasty migraine, Osaka kindly faceupped Ed for me, and he looks just stunning.

The State of The Rory

I got another written warning regarding illness related absences at work on Sunday. The dates on the paper align with my kidney stone absences. I am increasingly frustrated. I woke up today and had an anxiety attack and then fell down and torqued my back, causing bruising right along the spine. I remembered after the fact some advice I was given years ago, to let myself fall rather than trying to catch myself because I am less likely to be injured as badly if I hit the ground, and more likely to injure my spine and/or shoulders if I try to catch myself when I am falling. And that's what I've done. I wrenched my right arm badly, left arm almost out socket which is just about a daily thing now, and have swelling in my lower back radiating up on both sides of the spine.

I was scheduled to work today but my back is still swollen badly and every time I try to stand or move I get stabbing pain. My arms are back where they are supposed to be, but I am aggravated. I feel like my time with this job is ticking down and I can't do anything about it because it's my health that is the issue, not my work ethic. So I called out.. again, explained that I had fallen and was unlikely be able to get my back in order in time to be useful for my shift, and my manager was understanding and marked me down as called out.

I expressed to Osaka last night, and several times recently that I am SO TIRED of being sick. I have not been truly well since I was hospitalized last June. My health has been on a steady decline since then, and no matter what I try to do to heal and recover my body seems to be laughing at me and saying "NO." I am so damned frustrated, and I don't know what to do.

I guess if/when I get laid off for being sick, I will focus on school until I move at the end of Spring semester, and put in for work. I could get lucky and find something temporary that will accommodate my health issues and school schedule. I could also get hit by a bus tomorrow but I won't know if I don't try.

In not health news, I will have some doll stuff up for sale or trade soon-ish as soon as I have a day with good lighting and a few hours of piece and quiet. I may have wigs and clothes, but I'm probably gonna weed out resin bits first, and then worry about wigs, and eyes. I like having extra wigs and eyes on hands as placeholders and they usually find a home in someone eventually.