Vikings

I have decided that I want some gorgeous Scandinavian Vikings. In doll form of course.

I've settled on Iplehouse EID Akando on the super hero body with real skin (light tan) color, icy blue eyes, and silky blond hair down to his waist. Also EID Arvid in maybe normal skin with Auburn or ginger hair and beardscruff. Both will have chest/torso scarring from stupid teenage adventures, in skinny-dippying with murderous mermaids. Akando will have a deep piercing wound(scar) at about lung level on his right side. Arvin will have a deep slash (scar) from groin to collarbone deeper at the top, and both will have much less severe scars scattered across limbs and faces. I had already determined that my Amelia was descendent from Vikings so they fit nicely there as part of her village. I fancy the blond being her uncle and Arvin being uncle's best friend.

Also since in The Forest no one wears furs or leathers they could have lovely bulky knit tunics for warmth with fitting trousers or leggings.  Mostly I just want a pair of gorgeous scarred up Vikings.

ASL is going well I think.

For my last couple of ASL classes, I've had earplugs in because of migraines but I think I may just wear them for each class now. It helps deflect distracting noises and forces myself and my classmates to sign and gesture instead of sign and whisper if our instructor can't see..

I asked our instructor if I was being rude by using earplugs and she said I was fine whether I needed them medically or not. It was a huge relief.

I attended my first Silent Dinner and Deaf Culture Event on Friday and was horrified that another first year class was using English speech and ASL interchangably. As I understand it, they are learning at a slower pace, a full semester for ASL 101, whereas we are learning ASL 101 and 102 back to back for this semester.

We have finally begun to pick up speed and are learning past abcs, and early numbers. It's still mostly social things, how to identify someone, how to ask interests, etc but it is actually feeling like progress now.

I am relieved. So far my grades are shaking out across my courses as solid A, and I'm going to do all I can to study and keep up. I think I've found a good groove with my homework and I haven't missed an assignment yet.

My English 111 class is my only non-condensed course so I'm actually ahead there.. It's hard work and I'm terrified of falling into old school habits but I think I might be doing okay.

Marek arrived safely today!

My April Story Fall arrived today, and I will try to have photos up soon, like in the next week. Osaka and I have figured what kind of faceup he needs, and if weather cooperates that will happen some time this weekend. I don't have the eyes I thought I wanted for him (he was going to have blue eyes) but I did have some that fit really well in him for right now, so at the moment he has light grey eyes. I think I know where I got them so I should be able to get his blue eyes in the near future.

No introduction yet, but his name is Marek, and he will be introduced once he has a faceup and pants. He will have a fur wig initially, because money, but I will hopefully find an appropriate wig for him in short order.

Marek will be my aging goth, with careful faceup work to give him subtle crows feet by the eyes, and some gentle aging. He is a bit taller than I expected, and his head is a bit smaller than I expected, but a big fluffy wig will help, and it may seem less obvious once he is clothed and faceupped and all done. :)

Osaka and I did some poking at astrology and determined he would be a Taurus, so his birthday would be May 18th, just picking based on descriptions that matched how I've seen him. This works well as Taurus and Cancer are a good romantic match.

As soon as I have pants made, and hair (with or without face) I will share him.

ALSO I need to do a 10 year anniversary photoshoot with Ro. He turned 10 on August 29th. So.. I need to make that happen. I've been distracted with school and work so that may not happen until some of my classes finish up. @_@

College first final grade.

One of my final grades posted yesterday evening. I have a 98% Average in my Math course, which is basically a condensed refresher on pre-algebra. I have the next condensed Math course starting next Tuesday. My test counted for 80% of my score which means I got one problem wrong. That is about standard for me. I get the simple stuff mixed up.

I realized today that only one of my 6 courses this semester is not a condensed course. My English 111 is a standard full semester. College Success Skills is a bit over half the semester. My ASL 101 and 102 are straight half semester 3 hour lecture courses, and both math classes condense a year of math skills into 3 weeks.

It's no wonder I've felt under pressure... It should be noted the only ones I knew were condensed were the Math classes... I overheard some classmates discussing how a previous college ASL course had been a full semester and roughly 1.5 hours per lecture.

I'm the dumbest smart person I know. :P

Signing in my sleep and joint dislocations.

I woke up signing in my sleep. I'd woken a bit earlier over-heated from having closed the bedroom door, and having gotten up I took some ibuprofen for pain. Then I went back to bed and woke again after awhile realizing I was repetitively signing "cat" against my face.

I can distinctly remember that I was signing to my Ravelry friend Barleystonks, with whom I have been practicing my ASL. I was trying to articulate that I did not currently have any cats, just stuffed animals. I had signed "cat" repeatedly, and was specifying brand name as I learned in class on Thursday, by finger spelling Sanrio, Hello Kitty, and Chococat. I remember grabbing at stuffies on my bed in a half-wake dream and gesturing to them before signing which they were, and I woke as shooting pain went through my left shoulder.

As it turns out sleep-signing is not the worst thing I could be doing. I accidentally partially dislocated my left shoulder the other night in my sleep through normal sleep movement and didn't quite realize why I was in such pain until after a full shift of work and and having a study session with a classmate. I ended up having to carefully work it back into socket by rolling on the floor and massaging the shoulder while trying to shift it back into place.

Pro-tip. Dislocations hurt and tend to swell angrily once you have "fixed" them. Also I tend to be more prone to injury in the same place after this happens once or twice. My beloved sister Faythe has similar joint issues and has dislocated limbs in her sleep as well. I am a violent sleeper and I need help. x_x

This course is stupid and mandatory.

In doing my weekend homework between work shifts I finally came to my Student Development Course which is basically psycho-analyzing the student population for the first semester of school. I skimmed the course textbook (WAAAAYYYY OVERPRICED) and it's a bunch of psuedo-psychological crap from cover to cover. This is a required course for every single student getting a degree or certification and it is a huge waste of time and money.

I was rage-facing just completing and submitting my weekly assignment. I got to a point of blind rage and had to call it quits. I will need to double check my class submissions but I think I have one more assignment I need to complete by Tuesday.

How can you be paying for school and not take it seriously?

I keep ending up seated next to people who aren't taking the class seriously and are either openly mocking the professors or just talking loudly over them. I kind of want to throat punch them.

We're still friends, so please don't make it awkward.

July 31st, Steve and I discussed our long-term life goals and our current busy schedules and determined that we had reached a point of life differences enough that we decided to amicably part ways. We have been friends for nearly 10 years, and dated for 3 of those years, so I don't want to see any trash talk in either direction. We're still very good friends and this came after several hours of rational discussion about what we are currently each doing and needing to do, and where we both want to be in the next few years. We will continue to be friends and interact, and enjoy each others company when we can.

Although it was a peaceful parting, I would still like some time to process this before I have to talk about it with anyone. Thank you, and have a great weekend!

Short Medical Update

Since my last post I have received the rest of the medical bills. In total I owe close to $25,000, so my initial guestimate of $15,000 was lowballing. I will tweak my YouCare page accordingly but I honestly don't expect to raise much more than I already have.

Thank you to everyone who has helped, shared, prayed, and generally wished me well. I appreciate you.

I turned 32.

I posted an update earlier today to my YouCare crowdfunding page since I have finally received my medical bill(s) from the hospital. I've not gotten anything regarding the followup at the ER so I am guesstimating based on what the ER visit from the first trip cost. Anything "extra" if I manage to actually gather all of what I need would go to current medical costs and cost of living.

Thank you again to everyone who has been able to assist, either financially or via signal boosting. I have gotten some generous donations which helped offset the cost of some of my recovery and medications when I got out of the hospital.

In Non-Medical things, yesterday (July 14th) was my 32nd birthday and I had a ridiculous epiphany as I was getting up in the morning.

I looked in the mirror as I do almost every birthday and reflected on what young me, at various ages (5, 8, 10, mostly pre-puberty) would have thought of who I am and how it differs from who I expected to be.

I realized as I was pondering that I never really processed the moment when I became legally male according to the Federal government and all current identification. I mean I went through all the steps and went GOOD it's DONE, but I never actually processed it.

If you had told five-year-old me that I would grow up to be a relatively well adjusted MAN who was comfortable with who he was, and what he was doing with his life, who had friends who loved and accepted him for who he is, friends all over the world, all over the US, five-year-old me would have looked you in the eye and told you that you shouldn't lie.

And yet, it's all true. I have friends all over the world who love me, accept me, respect me, and treat me as a Human being worthy of respect, friendship, and love. My support group, my allies, are more than I can count in number, and all of them are true friends. Many of them have helped with my health, both physical and mental, and many of them are on my "Seriously need to hang out with before I move overseas" list.

I had a very quiet 32nd birthday. A friend took me, and Osaka, and Ringo out for a nice lunch, and then I came home and had a nap. It was a blessedly quiet day. And it was the first birthday where I realized that legally I'm done. I will always have health maintenance in regards to transitioning but also in regards to being bipolar, and having asthma, and a thyroid condition etc. What I have left is medical and psychiatric stuff. Legally I am male, and it's all I have ever wanted out of life. Life is worth living.