Sneak peek, and drawing questions.

Thanks to batchix, for the size suggestion for my canvas. It makes a huge difference, I think. This is at 53%, an 8x10 300dpi canvas. It's so much easier to draw like this, for me anyway. Zoom out, rough sketch the shapes, then zoom in and smooth the lines to the shape I like. Woo!

I love Painter X by the way. It's smooth and easy and I have yet to see how it's different from Painter IX but I look forward to the subtle differences. The pencil is smoother I think. It's easier to get a feathery look, like for his lashes. I have no idea why I never asked about canvas sizes before. Next I want to learn layering tricks to make coloring easier. @_@

Currently I add new layers and use the airbrush, then erase around the lines, but that gets messy and after several layers, the original lines become blurry and hard to see. I need to figure out if there is a way to select the negative space inside the lines and make it color inside the lines by default. I know that's possibly in Photoshop but I don't use that so that's no help to me.

It's been a long time since I've been able to draw anything I'm happy with, and even longer since I've gotten something finished, with color. The last thing I was really pleased with, was a portrait of Ro. And I drew it about two years ago, right around the time Nick and I moved to Virginia Beach. It was this one:


I like the soft colors and shading I can do with the digital airbrush, but I need to figure out how to clone the lines and and do color fills. Shading is the easy part, keeping my lines, is the hard part.

Self Portrait

This is the first self portrait I've drawn in four years. And the first digital work (not counting something I did in October of Ichigo) since before I went on anti-depressants. I wouldn't say that it's a breakthrough, but I think that it says alot about how I feel right now.. And maybe shows that not using it won't necessarily eliminate drawing skills.

I need to learn to draw bigger. @_@ Sans piercings because they're hard to add in, in that teeny scale. Hmm. I kind of miss drawing.

I would have colored it but I seem to have misplaced my Painter 9 disk, and I don't like painter classic for coloring. ;_; Speaking of, I need my software disk back Ginny! As soon as reasonably possible please. :3

I think my fever broke.

I think the worst of my flu is passing. I'm beginning to feel more lucid at any rate. And with my lucidity, I'm feeling angry again. Which may sound dumb, but it's like, when I was passed out from the NyQuil, I wasn't having to deal with anything really.

And now I'm at the point that I'm watching Nick and Ti interact and I just wanna punch her in the face. I don't pretend that I always treated him right, but I feel like I was respectful to him. And she really isn't. I don't think she even cares, and that makes me even more angry.

Our divorce is not about HER. I mean, that's one of the reasons but she shouldn't have any sort of say in any of it. And I resent her for thinking she has a right to say anything about it. When I try to talk to him about things she's always there butting in.

I wish I didn't have to stay to sort out the papers. I wish there was a magical "everything is done" button I could push. I don't want to screw myself in the end, but I am SO tempted to jump a bus back to Texas and just throw caution to the wind. I'm not going to do that, but I just wish, we could get things moving faster.

I just want it all to be done. I want to get started on putting my life back together NOW. Ugh. This is the worst time to be impatient too. So I'm gonna go take a shower, and find something to channel my rage into.

Hooray!

So I made this shirt for Ichigo, um on February 1st, before going out with Christy, Neil, and Michael. It's made of flamey goodness!

Hooray for flame shirts! -15 coolpoints on Gaia. That's okay though cause Ichigo looks awesome anyway.

Ugh. ;_;

I think I have the flu.. or a really NASTY cold. But generally one does not have a fever with a cold. So it's probably flu. It's kicking my butt. ;_; I need to go to the store and buy soup, and juice, and more kleenex/puffs/tissue. Also cough syrup.

I slept really fitfully most of yesterday, and some of the day before. I think I'm a bit dehydrated. I've mostly lost my voice as well. The only reason I'm awake right now is because I was tired of laying in bed. I'll probably go back to sleep shortly after posting this though. Ugh.

So, this is why I haven't been as talkative lately sorry!

Good night, gone WEIRD.

Okay. @_@ So, last night I went out with Christy, Michael and Neil. We had a lovely dinner at Golden Corral, and then walked over to the Walmart (which was right next door) where I bought a piece of luggage. It's cute, I took a picture, cause that's easier than describing it. I think I want to go back and get the smaller one to use as my carry-on as well. It was on sale for $30! And the littler one is on sale for $25. I used part what Nick gave me from the tax refund.



All in all it was a rather nice night until when we were pulling into the back entrance of their apartment complex, a guy ran a stop sign and crunched/crashed into us. Michael was completely outraged. None of us seem to be hurt though, thank goodness.

To help Michael calm down, and be sure he wasn't hurt, she walked him home (we were already in the complex). And then it just got surreal. As they were exchanged contact and insurance information, I was looking in the car for Christain's (Christy's Link boy) glasses, which flew off in the impact. I found them, and after I'd placed Ichigo and Link on the roof of the car, the guy came over and showed me a picture of his son. He'd been asking after Michael shortly beforehand (who is nearly six) and then showed us his son, who is in the hospital for a disease that has no name, and is genetic.

I can't recall all the details as clearly now, but my saying that his son was cute, spurred him to flirt with me. It was WEIRD. He mentioned that he'd been in Iraq and his wife cheated on him, and that he'd been on a date shortly before he hit us. I told him my husband and I were divorcing for similar reasons and he said "Oh you're single? It's a shame we had to meet under these circumstances. My name is James!" And it just got really weird from there.

Eventually in the course of trying to figure out if Roger (Neil's car) could run, we learned that James had a couple glasses of wine, and would really prefer if we didn't call the cops for an accident report. At that point I remembered that I had my camera with me, and took pictures of both cars, for evidence, if needed later. I wasn't sure what I should do call-wise, and ended up not calling. The guy was very certain that it was his fault, and apparently is a mechanic. He offered to do all the work to fix Roger for free, or buy the car outright if he wasn't fixable.

I'm REALLY glad none of us were hurt, and much less importantly neither were the two dolls we had with us. It's much more important that the people weren't hurt, and I know that, and agree with that. I'm just also glad that neither doll was broken.

And on that note, I'm tired and I'm going to go to sleep soon.

Sick, or bad food?

Ugh. I might be coming down with whatever Nick and Ti have. I'm rather annoyed because I've been very careful to keep to myself, wash my hands more frequently than usual (which is saying alot, because I am germ-phobic) and stay out of the sneezing/coughing path.

I was hoping my chest congestion was because I ran out of allergy medicine, but I'm running a fever now. It's mild, but I tend to run a little cooler than most people at about 97 degrees, and I'm at 100 degrees right now. I feel rather cold, but don't want to spike my fever, so I'm just wearing pajama pants, my thermal shirt, and warm socks, rather than like, a hoodie over jeans and a t-shirt.

Hopefully after a good rest I'll be fine. I'll be getting a little travel sized thing of dial soap to keep in my purse though. I have plans to get out of the house tomorrow and I don't want to change them. If Ti is any indication, I have a couple of days before I get to the "NO BEING AWAKE" part. I'm popping vitamins, drinking juice, and will live on soup for the next week.

There is a chance my feeling yucky could be connected to dinner tonight, which was takeout from a place accross the street that tastes good, but occassionally makes some of us nauseous. I'm hoping so, cause I really dislike being sick, and I've been careful to minimize germ exposure.

Photos

Unfortunately only a couple of photos came out nicely but here they are all the same. :) My friend boidragon asked for some pictures of the rainbow shirt, and since I love taking pics of Ichigo (and my other dolls) I'm glad to comply.

This first shot, I took the other day when I was looking after Michael at Christy's. We played dolls together and it was very fun. Ken belongs to Michael. :3


And I took these two tonight. X3



And if anyone has anything in particular they'd like to see, before I pack away the dolls, I'll be happy to comply. :3 Just post in the comments, what you'd like.

Protective Contract

Okay! Today was the second discussion for the divorce and it went alot better. We've drawn up a contract in regards to the cats and my cellphone bill, to protect the kitty boys, and to make sure that my credit won't get completely screwed up if I can't find a job right away. I drew it up myself so it probably doesn't sound too professional but if anyone is curious here it is. I don't know if there is away to place it behind a cut like on livejournal, so I apologize for the HUGE wall of text.

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This is a contract for custody of Owen and Decke, two domestic shorthaired black cats.

The first stipulation is that both be kept up to date on all shots, and on time. If either animal needs to be taken to the vet for emergency care, all parties need to be kept informed. [ ] [ ]

The second stipulation is that both cats must be neutered within six months of the date of mynamehere’s departure to Texas. Store the flight information with this contract for future use. [ ] [ ]

If there is reasonable* reason that the cats must be given up, all parties must be kept informed, before a family or families are chosen. Neither cat may be taken to a shelter and given up there. [ ] [ ]

*Reasonable reason, being that it is no longer financially possible for care for both cats, barring an emergency. Neither cat may be given up simply to move to an apartment that disallows pets. [ ] [ ]

This second contract is in regards to the cell phone bill of mynamehere.

It has been agreed that hisnamehere will pay the bill every month until the contract ends. [ ] [ ]

In the event that the bill is over $100, hisnamehere must contact mynamehere to let her know. In such cases, hisnamehere is to pay up to $100 towards the bill, and mynamehere will pay the remainder. [ ] [ ]

This contract was drawn up on January 28, 2008, and signed on ________________.

hisnamehere _______________ mynamehere _______________ Witness ________________

Both parties will keep a copy, and may upload one or more copies to their computers, and the internet archive of their choice. Either may give copies to lawyers or family for further security. [ ] [ ]

This contract has been drawn up in regards to the upcoming divorce to protect the animals, and to make sure that neither parties’ credit will be further damaged, by breaking a cell phone contract. [ ] [ ]

It should be noted that mynamehere is leaving the joint residence of her own free will, to ease movement, and to prepare for her move back to Texas. She is not being forced to move, or kicked out. [ ] [ ]

Please initial at each [ ] and sign on the line.

---------------------------------------------------

Tomorrow we'll sign it in front of a witness, probably when I go pick up my inhalors from the base pharmacy. And in about a week we'll be talking to lawyers to sort out the rest. I've already talked to him about the small amount of furniture I want to take with me, and he's fine with that. I'll be taking my desk, a coffee table that I keep my doll furniture on, that has some storage in the front, and TV, TVstand, and game systems. Then of course my books and clothes and stuff. But I was most concerned with the electronics.

I'm a little worried that things will get a little hairy once lawyers are involved, so I'm going to see if there is a place through the USO or the church my family attends, that I can stay for a few weeks while all this gets sorted out. I'm not sure yet. I'm still nervous but feeling alot more confident, since I know I'll be staying with my eldest sister when I get back to Texas, and we've already hashed out what she expects of me, and what she doesn't while I'm there.

I'm going to just wait till I get back to Texas to get my driver's license because if all goes smoothly I won't be in Virginia long enough to get my driver's license.

I don't WANT to rush back to Texas but I also feel like that's the only way I'm likely to get control of my life again any time soon.

I'm really going to miss my family here in Virginia, and I feel horrible that I'm leaving and so suddenly. I want to promise you, Christy, and Rissa, that I am going to keep in touch with both of you, lots of phone calls, and chatting online and all. And as soon as I am able, I will come to visit you both, whether that be Christy and I both going to Cali to visit you Rissa, or whether I visit you both seperately. You both and your families have taken such good care of me, and I am not going to throw away the wonderful friends I have in you both.

I don't know.

Anyone know if there is a way for me to look up my GED test scores? I need that information if I'm gonna try to go to college. Hrmm.

Had one of the first "discussions" about the divorce tonight. Expressed some concerns, yelled a little bit. I feel a little bit better but still nervous. As things stand I stand with the most to lose. I have no job, no drivers license, no car, no money, and no marketable skills. I haven't had a job since Nick joined the military almost three years ago. We were trying for kids, and I wanted to be a stay at home mom.

Nick thinks we would have wound up here anyway if it weren't for Ti. He thinks it was just a matter of time. I don't really agree but I'm not sure what I can trust anymore. I'm just really angry at this point. I'm trying to keep it together so I don't get shafted. Alot of my friends think I'm being too easy on them. I don't know. I don't want to screw them over, anymore than I want to be screwed.

I don't know my rights, and I don't know where to look. If things can stay where they are (awkward but not violent) I don't think Nick will completely shaft me. Legally according to Texas marriage laws I'm not entitled to alimony. I can't support myself as is either.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to go home to Texas right now, except for a visit, and even if I did, I don't want to go and have to live with some of my family till I get on my feet. I had to do that once when Nick and I first got married and it was really hard for everyone involved. The job market is even worse now. I do know that the military WILL pay to send me and my things back to Texas, when the divorce is final, or if I want to leave beforehand or whatever. I don't want to leave my cat though and I couldn't take him with me if I did stay with family.

I'm so freaked out right now. I've been having alot of trouble staying calm, and my asthma is stress induced, so I need to make a doctor's appointment and get my inhaled steroid refilled and get more refills for my emergency inhalor.